Chickie-Chickie-Boom-Boom!!

I am running very low on repetitive "ch"s. I will have to give up this whole endeavor in the very near future.

Katie and I just returned from Damon's where we watched the Pack suck a nut this weekend. By all accounts we should have demolished this Arizona team, but we played badly from start to finish today. The primary thing I have learned from this weekend's disaster is that you cannot learn anything about the Packers' opponents from how they play the Packers. When they play well this team has just enough talent so as to be alright. They can never be much beyond alright, but they could have been a 10-6 team or so in a conference which is pretty fucking sub par in the first place. However, when they play badly they just play really fucking badly. It appears from the other two weeks of the season that Arizona is legitimately bad and so is Detroit. Regardless, no one looked their best. After an appalling first quarter Brett came out and looked as if he would actually return to Favre-like form, but then collapsed in the second half. The defense really hurt us as they couldn't get off the field to save their lives. I think we ran like 9 total plays in the third quarter and had the ball for like 3 minutes. Atrocious. I know we aren't that good, but its frustrating when we don't even play up to our potential, however low that is.

The Vikings look like they might be legit, although they haven't played anyone worth writing home about either. They have beaten up on the rest of the conference, less on Detroit than I think they should have, but we will see how it goes next weekend when they play a team which presents a challenge to their defense. I haven't seen the Niners yet this fall but the numbers they have put up make it a game.

Katie and I have been going over some of the creative ways to personalize your wedding ideas that she gets in all these random wedding magazines. Most of them I think are crap. I have no desire to write stupid personalized vows, I am not reciting poetry or singing a song we wrote together. I don't know exactly what we will end up doing in this respect, but the only idea we both agree isn't completely awful is to name the tables things besides the numbers 1-X. We made a couple possible lists: important foods seems in some ways too tacky. We were going to do favorite foods and put recipes for them on the table-cards, which would have been cool, but eventually we ran out of good things to use and it seemed weird to mention alot of foods which weren't being served at the reception.

One of the big suggestions is that you name them after important places in your lives. We went through a number of them but none of them seemed especially interesting. I mean, we had addresses and stuff, probably enough of them in fact. Still, we were just listing our homes and our parents homes and some random hotel rooms from Harvard and Blake and stuff. Katie has some other ideas which we may end up going for, but I will save those until we get closer to the actual situation. We have actually moved nearer to setting some dates and nailing things down. It is possible that tomorrow we will know exactly when and where, but more likely it will be a couple days until that information is publically available. We have several reception places which are all open on the day we want, but I am not sure if we will find a ceremony site that will work then as well.

I like John Ritter, alright, I thought he was funny on Three's Company and the episode of Buffy that he did in season 1 (Ted) is actually kind of a classic epsiode for how formulaic it is. The point is not that it is not sad that John Ritter died or that John Ritter's life was not as important as anyone elses, but rather simply that to assign him these tributes as if he were Tom Hanks might be a little premature. Apparently this 8 Simple Rules show is popular and kind of good, I don't know, I never watched it. So he's got a got 6 year sitcom to start the career and one decent season of a sitcom to finish it off with an episode of Buffy in between. Have we forgotten the Problem Child series folks. When your best jokes are vomit-related and you can't even claim to make the best vomit-related jokes in the biznuts, something is wrong.

Katie is telling me that alot of people are so sad about John Ritter because he was apparently really really nice. I don't know the guy, but I would certainly imagine that he was hella nice. I mean, why wouldn't he be, he pretended to be gay before pretending to be gay was hip. Overall John Ritter is sweet. Don't get me wrong. I don't want people to think that I am an anti-Ritt-ite or whatever. Nonetheless, its a little much isn't it. I guess if you die at the right time before the Emmies, they will hooks you up fat. John Ritter, may he rest in peace.

So on a lighter note, Jon Stewart was funny as hell. He did a little fake awards to news outlets things. I hope he wins the Emmy which is coming up shortly. I am constantly amazed at how well done that show is and also blown away by the fact that major celebrites of some sort, be they political or entertainment based. It may be a sad statement about society that in my world Sportscenter and The Daily Show are the most important news programs. As far as I am concerned nothing important can happen on Saturdays.

Alright, I will sign off after this, here is the award for the best individual performance in a variety show: Jon Stewart did not win. In a completely and totally limp move the Emmy goes to Wayne Brady for Whose Line is it Anyway. Limp, totally fucking limp. You were in like 5th place as far as I was concerned. Without question Robin Williams was ahead of you. This shouldn't have been close. Whatever, Jon Stewart is number one in my book.

Peace,

MB-K

Ch-Chimichanga-Ch-Chimichanga!!!

I can imagine that this title is created only because we made enchiladas the other day. I mean, the "we" is a very royal "we" a Queen Elizabethian "we" if you will. Katie made the enchiladas while I shredded the cheese. Admittedly, we went a little overboard on the amount of cheese with which we topped the enchiladas, but they were hella sweet. While I totally like the enchiladas that we made and will likely enjoy some of the leftovers tomorrow I do have a question as to how they are technically enchiladas. My understanding of enchiladas was that they included enchilada sauce. You know what I am talking bout here right dawg. Its the somewhat spicy gravy like red sauce often flavored with adobo and beans and stuff. Regardless, I like enchiladas. As much as I like enchiladas I may even like saying the word enchiladas more than the actual echiladas themselves. Try saying it but make sure the "i" sounds like the "i"s in "tiki" or the second "i" in "chili". Enchiladas!! It can even just be like an exclamation.

Enchiladas always make me think of chimichangas and I fucking love chimichangas. What a great fucking idea, deep frying either a burrito or an enchilada. Fantasgreat! I haven't had a chimichanga in a long time, especially since I just don't really go to Mexican restaurants much out here. I don't even know where the good ones even are. I mean, there are a couple Don Pablos and they actually have pretty good chimichangas and fucking excellent margaritas, but I don't really feel like heading there often. As good a place as it may be its no La Cucaracha, which I have always felt is simpy good fucking eats.

Speaking of slogans like "good eats" the restaurant up the street, Anderson's Frozen Custard (whose custard is both overpriced and not even the best within a half mile radius, talk about coming motherfucking weak as shit) has entirely ripped off Dairy Queen on their sign, which literally reads "Hot Eats, Cool Treats." I mean, I aint no lawyer judge, but that shit ain't right. I am fairly certain that using someone else's slogan on your sign, especially when the both of you serve frozen dairy products and cheeseburgers, that you have violated at the very least, the letter of the law. More importantly your custard sucks and just because you have a Sponge Bob themed bouncey thing at your restaurant one day a week doesn't mean you can steal the customers of a reputable establishment who fucking came up with the blizzard.

Its weird ain't it, nowadays the idea of swirling your ice cream with oreo cookies in a big ass little blender thingy is just second nature. But when DQ rolled that shit we were all blown the fuck away. Oreos, Nerds, Butterfinger, and Snickers, those were pretty much how it started. I mean, wow, you are a fucking stud if you came up with the Blizzard aren't you. It reminds me of Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion where they claim to have invented Post-Its. How fucking cool would it be if you could say you invented the Blizzard. I mean, I have no need to pick up chicas no mas, but if I wasn't with the lovely Ms. Kauf and had invented the Blizzard I would have a shirt made that said "Whats up Honeys. I invented the Blizzard, take your panties off." How much action could you get if you invented the Blizzard. That is a great fucking story on either side of the equation. "Dude, check this out I slept with the dude-or-dudette who invented the Blizzard" or "Another one for me, that makes 4987 this year as a result of my inventing the Blizzard."

I think at somepoint earlier in this here blog I made some comments about chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and how that now seems normal even though, at some point, the idea of putting raw chocolate chip cookie dough in vanilla ice cream was like fucked up to the MAX!! (as a tangent, I think any time you refer to something as to the MAX!!! you should put MAX!!! in that style so as to indicate that, were you talking, you would be blasting the word MAX!! in a fashion which is itself to the MAX!!!) Refer to that entry if you have more questions about the radicality of the Blizzard flavor treat.

They revealed the concept for the new Joe Millionaire tonight on Fox. The promotions people at the Fox network came very strong and lured me and Katie in by promising to show us the new dude if we watched their Friday lineups. The first show we skipped, I am just not a Wanda Sykes fan and we were watching Reba, a show which shockingly grows on me every week. More on that some other time. We watched Luis, which was alright, and then Boston Public. Midway through the show they were just like, BAM the next Joe Millionaire is a Texas cowboy dude and the women are all foreign!!! Can you believe this! We took a concept which was questionably unethical in the first place and added some xenophobia to it! I love reality TV, this show is gonna fucking rock. If it is possible to beat Joe Millionaire 1 this will do it. Plus what better way to endear us to the world post Iraq then taking women from their countries, tricking them into thinking they are trying to date a rich guy, and then making fun of their ogling a Texas good-ole-boy. Yee-haw!!!

Peace,

MB-K

Ch-Ch-Chilis Babyback Ribs

I don't actually have anything to say about Chili's babyback ribs, or anyone else's babyback ribs for that matter. I am just really searching for repetitive "ch" sounds to keep it going and I remember one Chili's commercial where they stuttered the Chilis. Its not even one of the uber-famous commercials but it still fucking counts. The only other thing I could really think of might not even count and I have no idea how to spell it. We shall just see then, shant we.

I guess if I needed to tie things into babyback ribs I would do so by mentioning that some guy outside of my apartment building was barbe-ma-quing today. It smelled really fucking good. I don't have a grilll primarily because I don't really have any place that I would like to use to barbecue. I mean, there are people who just leave their grills outside, but I am not so comfortable with that. I would totally have one if I had a patio or whatev, but until then I will survive with just my George Foreman model. It is all pretty and blue, even if it can't smoke a rack o' ribs.

Anyway, school has been going full nut for several weeks now. I am reading some Heidegger and some Kant as well as re-reading some Lacan and some Badiou at the moment. Hopefully Heidegger and Kant will be finished soon, enabling me to move on to Joan's new book and then maybe read Zizek's On Belief, which I picked up a while ago and haven't even opened yet.

On Monday we decided to order pizza, which was totally sweet as always, since I really like pizza, and it doesn't require us to cook. We even made the decision to add on the Pizza Hut Cinnamon Sticks, which are shockingly good. It really sucks that the Western New York area, Lockport specifically, is so lacking in national pizza chains and hence makes it very difficult for me to actually perform the experiment I had planned on to determine the world's best cinnamon pizza-dough dessert product. I have not had Papa John's and I haven't tried the newest version from Godfather's. I do love the Cinnamon Streusel dessert pizza and if I decided that it would be included in this category I think it would win by a landslide. Having only really compared the Pizza Hut Cinnamon Sticks and the Dominos Cinna-Stix and Cinna-Dots I vote overwhelmingly for Cinna-Stix style. They are buttery and delicious without lacking cinammon, dripping, or being obviously pizza dough.

Anyway, we ordered our pizza and sat around watching some random shit while we waited for it to show up. It was Monday Night Football time so I wouldnt have been surprised if it were a little late. Nonetheless, our doorbell rings and I bring the dude a check and he hands me the pizza. I say, the rest is for you, and right as I am about to close the door, he is like "Shit, we don't take personal checks."

Katie and I are like, "Um, you used to take personal checks. Like, a week and a half ago when we ordered a pizza from you, you took our personal check. Your website didn't say anything about taking a check, nor did they tell me on the phone." Regardless, he said they didnt take personal checks. I searched my wallet, Katie checked her purse, we looked in the bill area and on the desk and shit, but we both knew we had no cash. I never have cash and Katie wouldn't have written a check if she did. I told the dude, look I can give you a credit card number or call your place and give it to them or whatever, but he wasn't interested. He told me just to keep the za. I tried to talk him out of it but he was insistent. Eventually I gave in. We fished up a couple silver dollars to give the guy as a tip and he gave us our check back. Dude didn't even want to take it back and try. He wanted us to keep the pizza and the sticks, so we did. Overall it rocked. I would like to say that I would order from Pizza Hut all the time now, but I never have cash on me, so the chance is very low that this will be the case. Katie really digs the stuffed crust pizza but I am a big fan of Papa Leo's up the street.

Now that you are aware of my pizza preferences let me tell you a little something about the Zelnorm commercials that are all the rage these days. Okay, so the commercial shows all these women lifting up their shirts and it turns out that they have statsitics about Zelnorm written on their stomachs. It is clear, at the end of the add at least, that all these women are not especially attractive. I mean, some of them are damn hot and shit, but some are like really old. I should also note that Zelnorm has something to do with irregularities in the digestive track, not exactly the world's hottest illness. I am not sure what the world's hottest illness is but I am sure it doesn't involve the butt in any way. I mean, the butt is often very hot, but not when it is working irregularly. The irregular functions of the butt are never good. The regular functions of the butt aren't especially great either. Look, I know this isn't so clear but even if you are an ass-person you must understand what I mean here. Fuck you.

The point is that despite these facts which should make the commercial very unfun, I think its kinda hot. I don't know if it is that the women have something written on their stomachs or what. I mean, I am certainly not alone in the argument that the stomach is a very sexy area of a woman's body, but usually I would say that it is beaten by, I don't know, the legs, ass, breasts, and face. Since there are all sorts of commercials which feature these body parts that aren't as cool as the Zelnorm ad it must be something else. I mean, its not out of control or anything, but when I see it I think "that is pretty cute." Good job Zelnorm, you have successfully reached the exact opposite of your target audience.

Peace,

MB-K

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers!!!

Hopefully some of you will remember the theme song from one of the pioneering shows on the groundbreaking Disney Afternoon. Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers featured, beyond the title chipmunks of course, a big mouse like guy whose name I don't remember and a little fly dude named Zipp I believe. I am not certain of it, but I think that the big guy had an Australian accent. Anywho, it was a great show, which I believe followed the even more classic DuckTales. There was also Tailspin and Darkwing Duck and some other various shows at various times, but these were the big two to open up with.

There was one really sweet episode of Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers where they were fighting a group of rodents known as the Cola Cult. The Cola Cult was a diabolical group who occupied some area where there was a fountain soda machine which they dispensed and drank from thimbles and acorn halves etc. All the regular things that small cute like animals would normally drink out of, you get the point. Anyway, at one point they sing this song which is sort of a cult-like loyalty to their brand of soda, which, for the record is Coo-Coo Cola (pronounced to rhyme with a cow saying "moo") and the song really rocks hard: "Come along, you belong, Feel the Fizz of Coo-Coo Cola!! "

When the Disney Afternoon first came out my grandfather was still working and his firm was in charge of at least some if not all of Disney's finances. Regardless, he got us these really sweet posters that had all the characters from the Disney Afternoon on it, and we knew about it like 6 months before anyone else. I don't know if I still have that stuff or not, I should have kept it, but it was totally sweet. Scrooge McDuck was awesome in my world way before anyone else ever saw his money swimming antics.

Regardless, Katie and I rolled to Damon's this afternoon, and though our seats were a little too close to the television (I have a slight neckache) we were able to watch the game clearly. The Pack played fairly well today, the O line was on fire. They hit hard and really protected Favre. Apparently Marco Rivera was even hurt but you couldn't tell it by the way he pulled around to trap the middle linebacker setting up Ahman Green's breakout 65 yard touchdown run on the second play of the game. Ahman had quite an afternoon, even if it was against a pretty pathetic Lions defense. Brett was better, he only threw one pick and it wasn't nearly as flagrant as he was last week. Still, he didn't look like classic Brett Favre and certainly not the man whom Sporting News should have selected as the best player in the NFL for this year. His TD to interception ratio has improved, from last week's 1-4 to this week's 3-5. Hopefully things will continue to build in this direction.

The truly bright side to this week's win was not the offense though, it was the play of our linebackers. I mean, our secondary played pretty well too, but I expect that out of Al Harris, Mike McKenzie, and Darrin Sharper. But when Nick Barnett, an admittedly good looking rookie, but a rookie nonetheless, makes 12 tackles and a pick in his second home game, that is strong. The D-line played well, Gilbert Brown especially, and the Lions had no rushing game. The pass rush was actually much stronger than the stats would make it out to be, but Joey Harrington decided to react to that by throwing the ball. It wasn't a bad decision, unless of course your receivers suck, as the Lions' do, or the opposing defense is swarming well, as the Packers were.

Good day overall. I am going to watch the Carolina Tampa game. Its a doozy folks.

Peace,

MB-K

Checka-Checka-Check It Out

I wonder how many title things I can actually pull out of repetitive words that begin with a "ch" sound. I mean, I can't even necessarily think of any more at the moment, but they have to be out there, don't they. You would think that they do, but I guess you never know until you try.

I am currently watching Miami take on the Pirates of East Carolina University. The Canes came out and did what they are supposed to do, the quick defense leaving the Pirates with a three and out. The offense ran two plays on the ground, getting about 5 a piece for a first down. Then Brock Berlin just opened it up with what ends up being a 50 yard TD strike. Its the way you like to see Miami play, true Gino Toretta-style. Speaking of football, I have been told by the Triple Siznan-Jizzle-Jay that Madden 2004 with this Playmaker feature (C) is apparently so fucking cool that it cannot be believed. You get to like control your blockers and put your receivers into spontaneous hot routes. I can't wait to see it. Unfortunately, it may be second in line, since I don't even have the Buffy game yet. Maybe at this point I can just wait it out and get one or both of them used. I even got a coupon in the mail the other day for 5 bucks off a used game at the old Hollywood Video, so we shall see.

I am going to try a little excercise which we in the writing business call "freewriting"-the basic concept of freewriting is of course to write freely, without any self censorship. Regardless, here we go:

I was watching this leopard chase a vaginal-beef stew out the terrycloth windowpane when two kangaroos called me a hobo. What, I asked them, why doth thou accuse me of this nonsensical happening. If anyone would know, it would be you, after all, back in our youth we partied together daily.

I remember fondly going up to the park, climbing on the monkey bars, and sitting down to watch the puppet show. Before your aunt could steal a minivan the skunks would climb from the secret compartments which covered the wagon and spray Lysol on the whole crowd. More!! They would scream, MORE!!! The little children delighted in the combination of stinging pain and lemony freshness. Only 15 years later would they truly learn that Orange flavored Pledge delivered all the freshness at half the chloro-flouro-carbons.

Aristophanes!! You have got to be kidding me. No one ever ate a peanut butter cookie under the stormy sky on a thursday morning. If you wanted to, you might as well just ride the Orient Express up to Sumatra before Marky Mark calls you a bunny rabbit.

**End Scene**

I have now adequately determined that freewriting in a blog is not funny. My aplogies to any unfortunate readers. On the bright side, I have learned a little something about me. Those skunks, for instance, aren't just puppets. They are the puppets I remember fondly from my youth, the chick was named Henrietta, I think, but that may just be because my grandparents' pool cleaning-machine was named Henrietta. I have always thought that was weird and it may just be the two people I happen to know who have pools, but there does seem to be a trend in the naming of pool cleaning devices.

I am not talking about the fucking vent things obviously, why would you name one of those, that doesn't make any fucking sense. I am talking about the things that look a little like those moving lawn sprinklers that are attached to a hose and they go around on the bottom of the pool and grab leaves and dirt and whatever and pump it out. The Davis' and my mom's parents were the only people I knew with pools and Henrietta and Dolly were thus my models for pool cleaning name accuracy.

Regardless, I also thought it was weird that the puppets were skunks. I don't believe I had actually encountered a real skunk at the point in my life that I was going up to the puppet shows in the park, but I knew enough about them that I can imagine they would bot be worthy of the hugs of little children were they to simply wonder out of the long grasses behind the playground. Now that I think about it, I don't know that I have ever seen a live skunk outside of a zoo in my life. I am happy to say that I have never encountered one in any threateningly close proximity, but I don't even think I saw one running accross the road or whatever. I think it would be disappointing to see one of them spray though. You would probably imagine that their spray would be green and a cloudy mist, like it is for Peppy Le Peu or any other random cartoon skunk, but if you sit and really think about it, the chances are pretty low that it is green.

On the bright side, I have seen a live fox in person and it exceeded all my expectations. It was way way back in the day, must have been my junior year at RHS. James Hart and I had recently discovered the West St. Paul B-Dubs. At this point, of course, it was not known as B-Dubs, but rather BW3 or Buffalo Wild Wings or whatever. Regardless, we started driving out there on Tuesdays for the 20 cent wing days. The NTN trivia grew on us and pretty soon we were there en masse all the time. Regardless, one night James and I were in his beat up old car and as we turned to park in the B-Dubs lot there appears, much to our surprise, in our headlights, a cute little red fox (I nominate that sentence for best use of a comma splice in a major motion picture, by the way). I am not sure if the fox noticed us, though it did seem to sort of freeze in the headlights. After a couple seconds though, it just went on its way. Thankfully, its way was about a foot to its left, where the bush it was standing near was located. I don't know that there was any food actually in the bush, but the fox determined that the potential for food in the bush warranted a couple solid minutes of exploration. As a result we got to watch it before another car scared it into the woods. The point is that the fox was really really cool. Foxes are hella cute, they are like dog-cats. They have the best combinations of cuteness and studliness of both cats and dogs, plus, the awesome auburn shade. All in all, I am pro-fox.

Peace,

MB-K

Chim-Chiminee-Chim-Chiminee-Chim-Chim-Chimeroo

I know its misspelled, but that is how they say it for fucking ass dick sake. Alright, I admit it, I am slightly intoxicated. I have been drinking for a couple hours and although this gin and tonic is particularly flat, it still feels hella good. Regardless, you can just suck it if necessary, seriously. Put your mouth around it and suck like an anteater on a hot concrete sidewalk. Seriously.

So not much has been happening. I have done some reading and work and shit, finishing Freud's Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego and Kant's Critique of Practical Reason in the last two days. Right now Katie is watching What Not to Wear, which I fucking hate, like hate like a motherfucker, but she watches every week anyway. I guess that is legit, since I will force her to endure like a billion hours of football over the next several months, but nonetheless, I hate this show. Fucking TLC, Life Unscripted my ass. Unscript this you son or daughter of an asslickingasswhore.

It looks as though our wedding planning is actually beginning to come together, though I am not sure of anything more than I previously was. It looks like we will be able to have a sit down dinner at somewhere pretty nice and not absolutely destroy the bank. Many places are hotels, some are restaurants, and some are just neat places, like the zoo or something. I happen to particularly like the zoo, specifically the tropics area, since we could get married near the leopards and the tapir. It would be the Southeast Asian Tropics area, which has uber-cool animals. Fuck the dolphins, they are totally overrated. Plus it would be weird if we had tuna or something, we would have to explain to the dolphins why we were eating animals whose nets killed them all the time. I mean, we could pretend we were eating salmon or something. They may be the world's smartest fish but they are just fucking dolphins, if we tell them its salmon they won't know the difference. By the way, you assdick, I know that dolphins are not fish, but fuck you, they are like fish, they swim underwater and aren't turtles so they are fish. Bite me.

Finally, the other day, I was driving to school the other day and I looked in my rearview mirror to see something I expected I absolutely would not see. Its like that Lewis Black bit about not seeing a Starbucks when walking out of a Starbucks. Anyway, I slowed down and this car pulled up to me and fucking-A, it was a DeLorean. I mean, seriously, a DeLorean. I don't think the flux-capacitor was involved, but it was fucked up. I mean, it wasn't even like pimped out and totally rebuilt or anything. If you are going to have a DeLorean wouldn't you totally get it fixed up and add a leather interior and XM Satellite Radio or something. Those cars are worth something, if you ain't gonna do it to it then sell it and shit.

Peace,

MB-K

Brief Packer Summary

They sucked today. I didn't think they would be especially good in the first place but they, might be worse than I thought. I had said between 8-8 and 9-7, but they might be 7-9. If Brett Favre plays like he did today we won't win a game. Luckily, we know Brett, he has his off days, but he usually bounces back. You can never count yourself out when you have number 4 taking the snaps.

We lost, that sucks. The Pack didnt even play well, that sucked more. New Lambeau is awesome. Me and my dad had fun. Those parts were both cool. Fundamentally, watching the Packers lose at Lambeau field is only really beaten by watching the Packers win at Lambeau field. Either way, you are in the greatest place in the world, drinking beer, eating brats, and cheering for the Green and Gold.

More tomorrow, just wanted to say hey from Milwaukee, the Port Washington Comfort Inn to be more specific.

One last shout out to Katie. She came strong in locating this hotel for us and hooking us phat with a killer internet hot rate! Mad props. The woman has a keen ability to utilize the internet for travel resources. Rock on!!

Keep it real. From America's Dairyland, I am signing out.

Peace,

MB-K

No Esta Mucho

So there is not much going on. I have been reading a bunch of stuff and writing some stuff and teaching some classes and stuff. I will mention the few things I can think to say:

-Katie had her first debate meeting last night, it went really really well. Not only is she just naturally gifted in front of crowds, but all these kids were really hanging off her every word, at least the parts I saw. The fact that she actually has a team, instead of just one dude, seems to be very energizing.

-I really like the trend in "hip hop" culture of saying "love that" so that it sounds exactly like "la-dat" or even "luddat." For example, see Puffy's verse in "Shake Ya Tailfeather"

-We are watching the Lavar Arrington edition of "While You Were Out"-it is pretty funny overall, to watch the relations between the design people and the football player, especially based on their misperceptions that every football player is a quarterback-furthermore, Lavar Arrington's brother has the same pillows that Katie and I do on our couch

-TLC has this new show called Resident Life which looks really lame, but it has this theme song which appears to be by They Might Be Giants, and the only real line you hear in the commercial is "Am I Awake" and it gets really annoying really quick. It is even more annoying because the skull moves back and forth while it sings-watch the commercial, this will make more sense

-I am flying to Milwaukee tomorrow and then my dad is picking me up for the drive up to Green Bay, we are gonna chill with my Grandma on Saturday then go see the Pack-I get to be the first person to sit in our seats in the new Lambeau-I hope we get in early enough so that we can walk around for a while and see all the new shit, plus we can obviously find more brats that way

-I will likely be ooc on the internet trip for the weekend, hope ya'll enjoy yourselves, Katie will be around in the apartment though, so feel free to say hi to her. She always enjoys talking, and stuff. To people, and stuff. You know, and stuff. Yeah, and stuff.

Peace,

MB-K

Mikey Bustos: Bringing Society Down From the Inside or Canadian Bacon Pt 2

I have, in the course of the past two days, witnessed two of the worst examples of the entertainment industry that currently exist.

The first was sandwiched in between two very very good films which Katie and I saw yesterday. We hit up the Transit Drive-In down the street to take in the labor day threeway, the last big weekend of the year. The Disney ads that have been so popular on TV over the past several weeks were showing together, Finding Nemo, Freaky Friday, and Pirates of the Carribean. We hadnt seen any of these films. I have wanted to see Nemo since the days I saw the advertisements in the first place. I really enjoy these Pixar films and cute animals don't hurt. The only good non eating fish is an animated fish, so it was really my cup of tea.

It was really quite funny and I would imagine that I will have it on DVD at some point. If you get the chance to watch Nemo, I recommend it. If you hated Monsters Inc and-or Toy Story, leave it alone, but also, get a fucking heart you soul-less prick. Elen Degeneres as Dori (sic) redeems her entire career in my mind as the ambitious fish who has lost her short term memory and the dude from Everybody Loves Raymond is solid as the aquarium bound puffer fish.

Freaky Friday was among the worst films of all time. Seriously, it was without question the worst film I have ever seen on the big screen. I would imagine that I have, very late on Cinemax or in my renting awful horror films with Matt B. phase, seen worse films, but never have I seen one in the theater. Admittedly, the Drive-In is a special form of the theater, its not like we paid just to see Jamie Lee Curtis (whom I like ever so much when she is acting like a dual-gendered adult) badly impersonate a teenager in the body of an adult. Nonetheless, it wasn't like renting it. It was just fucking bad. My statement last night to Katie was that “Freaky Friday was the worst movie I have ever seen in the theater, and I saw Super Mario Bros. on opening night.”

Pirates of the Caribbean is awesome. I fucking love Johnny Depp, he and Brad Pitt have arguably the sexiest and overall highest quality voices of all time. The special effects are really good and it may simply be that I like the aesthetics of pirate times. The music is good, the whole swashbuckling motif, its all sweet. You should definitely see this movie. Take the example of the people in the car next to us. Get ripped, see Finding Nemo, spend the entirety of Freaky Friday outside your car getting stoned, then rock out with hottie extraordinaire Johnny Depp as he plays Captain John Sparrow.

The second is likely unavailable to most people reading as I found it only due to my proximity to the great state (by which I mean awful country) of Canadia (Katie tribeuce). Actually, I did not even technically find this example, Katie herself did. It is, and I shit you not, I can provide internet based support, Canadian Idol. Canadian Idol, as you might have gathered, is the Canadian version of American Idol. You might think that it would simply be a little more lame than American Idol, especially because it is a rip off. I mean, the judges will be different and it would simply be a copy.

You would be right of course, it is a lame copy. But that is not all. Keep in mind that Canada is a big fucking country. I mean geographically its fucking huge and population wise its not much smaller than the US. Maybe I am wrong about that, but I think it is close to accurate. You would think then, that there would be at least a couple of decently talented people in Canada and maybe they would audition for Canadian Idol. Now, I cannot, of course, categorically reject the position that Canada has talented people. I can however, demonstrate that they did not make it to the final four contestants on Canadian Idol.

Seriously check out this website (www.idol.ctv.ca). Look at some of the contestants, for instance the last three. There are a couple things you should note:

1) They are not attractive-have you seen Billy Klippert, did you even look at him. Fucking look at Billy Clippert. He is fucking bald. He is not even like a cute prematurely balding guy. I am not even saying that bald people can’t be attractive or can’t be the Canadian Idol or that going prematurely bald is bad. Billy Kilppert, however, is not an attractive bald. He is going bald in the same way the guy you knew in high school who started working at the bowling alley his junior year and is still working at the bowling alley today is going bald. The bleached blonde balding look was never really cool. Its like he was a poseur when he took the night off from City Limits to go see Rancid at First Ave and he is still a poseur today, only now he is trying to use that “punk rock” image to make his “I don’t want to miss a thing” cover look cool.Don’t get me wrong, I have some problems with the basic idea of poseur-dom. I don’t think you should have to safety pin an Op-Ivy thing to your jean jacket and tattoo a bar code on your neck to like punk music. I don’t own an outfit which wasn’t purchased at Daytons but I’ve spent many a night in the clown lounge and I don’t think I was too out of place. Nonetheless, I think there is some difference between me and Billy. Maybe I will talk more about it later. Its not like Gary or Ryan (or whatever their fucking names are) are much better. I mean, they aren’t as nasty as Billy, but they suck. They aren’t even really like not great looking people whom fill a niche-you’ve got Ruben, the big teddy bear fat guy-you’ve got Clay as the dorky guy who is all hot underneath. Ryan isn’t the hot dork, he is just a fucking dork. A big fucking stupid dork with bad glasses. They are not attractive, not really at all.
2) They cannot fucking sing-listen to them. You can get steaming video clips about everyone. Make sure you check out Billy Klippert, dude is bad. After that head to Jenny Gear. She was eliminated before Billy, and rightfully so, but oh my god she is so fucking bad. There is no way someone like that wouldn’t even make the first cut on American Idol. I don’t know that any of these people would make the trip to LA, Katie thinks a couple might. There is no question that none of them would make the top 10. DO NOT LEAVE THIS SITE WITHOUT CHECKING OUT MIKEY BUSTOS!!! He is the inspiration for this post obviously, and he just rocks. He isn’t quite extreme as Billy Klippert but wow, he is weird looking and he fucking blows. Like, he blows hard. And what a great name, Mikey Bustos. Say the last name a couple times. You will love it.
3) The judges are very very cheap ripoffs of American Idols. There names are even rip offs of American Idol judges and they have no edge at all. I mean, Randy’s “yo dawg yo dawg yo yo yo yo dawg” is fucking Cosmo Kramer in relation to this shit. Their Simon is like a really really flaming British hairdresser. Laughable.

Anyway, that is all. Canadian Idol is hilarious. For your reference, the hot chick got kicked off tonight. Billy Klippert was not even in the bottom 2. I am cheering for this tool.

Peace,

MB-K

Katie's Birthday

So a public belated Happy Birthday to Ms. Katie Kauf, whom turned 23 years young this past Saturday. It was a very nice occassion enjoyed intensely by all who celebrate it around the world. As an interesting sidenote, Katie shares her birthday with, among others, the lovely Cameron Diaz of Charlie's Angels FULL THROTTLE fame.

So Friday night began Katie's birthday at approximately 12:01 eastern time. For a sane person a 23rd birthday wouldn't really begin until the next day, like the actual birthday. I mean, on your 21st birthday you get the power hour thing going on and I can follow you there. It makes sense, you go out, get wasted in like 45 minutes as a warm up to the next night. But when you are 23 it hardly seems like a big deal. I mean, I know I attach less importance to birthdays then most people, but I really do think Katie enjoys her birthday more than the average folk (not that there's anything wrong with that). So because she had done "such a good job" not opening her presents during the week, she got to open my present to her that night.

I had gotten her a KitchenAid Artisan 5 Quart Stand Mixer in grape, a very good purple color. It really is the best mixer in the world, literally, everyone uses it, and I know Katie wanted it, but I wasn't sure that it was really a legitimate birthday present. I mean, I know she likes to make cookies and stuff, but I felt bad that it wasn't a surprise and stuff. So I added to that a J Crew sweater of her choice as a legitimate surprise. We went to sleep shortly after she tried out her mixer. We woke up early, way way too early, on Saturday and Katie opened the remainder of her presents. There were a couple cookbooks and some tank tops and some cookie sheets. A very good package overall that provides recipes for the cookies, a place to mix them, and something to bake them on.

We made crepes for Katie's b-day breakfast and got to utilize the KitchenAid mixer to make the whipped cream. You know a breakfast is solid when it necessitates making whipped cream. I mean, I like the idea of some waffles, some crepes, an omelette, some hashed browns (doubled covered and smothered of course), and a wee bit of bacon or sausage or whatev. Throw a bowl of whipped cream in the middle of that buffet style brunch and you are fucking set. Maybe some cheese sauce too and a basket of hot soft Philly style pretzels. I have never been to Philadelphia, but from the things I know them as famous for (cheeseteaks and pretzels) I think we would get along very well. I wonder if anyone in Philly has ever combined those foods, because a cheesesteak served inside a pretzel is a good fucking idea, especially if both the components are legit, not fucking frozen superpretzels from the supermarchet. The point from this was that the KitchenAid mixer was incredible on the whipped cream. You would expect a good 3-4 minutes of whipping from a hand mixer, but the KitchenAid knocked it out in easily under a minute with no effort on my behalf. It rocked.

After that tasty breakfast we headed to J. Crew and got Katie a ribbed sweater that was all cottony and nice and blue and shit. I am sure you could find it on their website, as she did the other day, if you are really interested in Katie's recent sweater-torial acquisitions. I was glad that Katie enjoyed her present, but the real highlight of that mall experience was the fact that there were these people from some sort of nature preserve hanging around in there and they had these two birds, one was a hawk and the other was an owl. Both of them were really fucking cool and pretty, but the owl rocked really fucking hard. I think owls are awesome in general, but I love it when you can get all up close to them and see their big eyes and watch them do the weird neck turny thing. I don't think owls can really turn their heads all the way around, but they come pretty close and they do it really quickly and overall they rock. I got to watch the owl for a little bit and then we were off to enjoy the Masterworks from the Phillips Collection at the Albright-Knox art gallery.

The collection really was quite incredible and I am very pleased Katie got to see it. I really enjoyed both of my trips but it was nice to go back after having already surveyed the area once. The Renoir painting that highlighted the collection, Luncheon of the Boating Party, is really amazing in person, though not so much in any representation I have ever seen. The colors and the crystalline appearance is overwhelming and not a single print of it even approximates those elements. On the lighter side of all the VanGogh's that close out the exhibition and the suicidal note that it ends on, the audio tour of the Phillips Masterworks Exhibition is narrated by Buffalo institutions The Goo Goo Dolls. Katie broke out laughing on at least one occassion when the Boy Named Goo described Picasso's differing monochromatic periods. It was pretty funny, but overall a very cool thing. It was a brilliant Buffalo afternoon so we walked to and from a nice free parking space and enjoyed one of the few bright but cool moments of a Western New York summer.

We decided that all parts of the day outside of the visit to the art museum would be dominated by food. We came home and began that by enjoying a simple hors d'oerve of summer sausage and cheese and crackers. At the same time I prepared Katie's birthday dinner, chicken and dumplings. In case you are wondering or are not aware, chicken and dumplings is a food which is primarily tasty in its blandness. I like it and all, but it is not exactly a diverse cornucopia of competing flavors. I heartily respect Katie's right to whatever birthday dinner she desires (I mean, there were years where I rolled hamburgers or shephard's pie or bratwurst or whatever) but I am not sure balls of dough floating in a stew served over mashed potatoes is hot August afternoon food. Regardless, I think I did an okay job on my first attempt at Katie's favorite meal.

While some of that was cooking I worked on Katie's birthday cake. It was a new recipe that we decided to try, borrowed from a Cooking Pleasures magazine. It is a chocolate almond mocha torte cake which was composed, essentially, of chocolate, rum, almonds, sugar, espresso, butter, and egg whites. I mean, there was a little flour mixed in with the ground almonds and some corn syrup or whatever, but it was pretty dense. People think that egg whites will make a cake or simething all light, like a souffle is just air bubbles, but especially a torte like this (one which is essentially a collapsing souffle) is pretty tightly packed. I glazed that motherfucker after dinner and we enjoyed a slice late that night. I actually think it tastes better after having a day to set, but it was very good even that night.

I am a day behind or so on this journal, so there may be more to come tonight. Nonetheless, I am starving, all I have eaten today is a salad, some cookies, and a piece of delicious torte cake.

Peace,

MB-K

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER TO HAPPEN!!!

There is virtually nothing in the realm of possibility which can happen which will top what just happened on the VMAs. I mean, don't get me wrong, the VMAs have a long history of incredible performances. I could list them, and probably will at some point. The point however is that the show opened and the curtain raised while we hear the recognizable melody of the classic "Like a Virgin." We are all excited at this point if for no other reason than that we know Madonna will be performing.

Madonna mixing something up with "Like a Virgin" is already cool. Who knows what could go down. Then MTV was like "check this shit out" so the lyrics begin obviously not sung by Madonna. If you are me, or if you are much like me, you already know who it is. If not, it will be only another second before the veiled woman in a wedding dress reveals herself as BRITNEY MOTHERFUCKING SPEARS!!! This is without question the coolest moment in many many years. Britney is singing Madonna, it doesn't get much better. We have some suspicions, but we just enjoy Britney's rendition of the first verse. Before the second verse can begin however, Britney steps aside to allow another veiled woman onto the stage. She begins the second verse and reveals herself as the less astonishing but still important Christina Aguilera. Pretty sweet huh, Britney and Christina on stage singing one of the greatest pop songs of all time.

They do a verse or so and moan "Touched for the very first time" a couple rounds. Then what we have all been expecting takes place. Even though we all saw it coming, it blows us away. We move to the edge of the couch, clapping and cheering as the only female artist in human history who arguably tops Britney Spears ascends the wedding cake. In a black corseted suit, Madonna herself appears in contrast to the be-dressed damsels of the girl-pop universe. She begins to sing Hollywood and removes her own jacket as the younger women dismantle their gowns down to bustiers with a skirt or shorts. They dance around, Madonna sings a verse or two. I am really just paying attention to the dancing and Madonna is paying attention to the ladies with her. She grinds a litte with them, she gives Britney her hat, which, I must add, Britney plays with adorably.

Now we get down to the nitty gritty. Madonna is kneeling down between the women after they accompany her down to the front of the stage. She leans to her left and sensually rubbing Christina's leg, she removes her garter and tosses it to the lucky front row fans. Those fans are lucky for only a second as the distraction may cause them to miss the greatest TV moment of all time. Madonna turns to Britney spears and FUCKING PLANTS ONE ON HER!! MADONA AND BRITNEY SPEARS KISSED ON TELEVISION!!! ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME!! MADONNA AND BRITNEY SPEARS FUCKING KISSED!! THEY SHOWED IT LIKE THREE TIMES!! THEY KISSED!!! OH MY GOD GET WITH IT!!! FUCKING A PEOPLE!! BRITNEY AND MADONNA KISSED !!! IT IS NO LONGER SIMPLY HAPPENING IN OUR DREAMS, IT IS AN HONEST TO GOODNESS BUTTFUCKINGLY REAL OCCURRENCE!!!

Even though you may have known some of this is coming its still like the moment before your dinner comes at a really good restaurant and you are fucking hungry as shit. Its not a surprise or anything. You ordered it and now it is here. All your experience suggests that this outcome will follow this process. It was a foregone conclusion that someday Britney and Madonna would at least jam together, if not record a single. I didnt see the kiss coming, but its like when the wait-person drops the news that you get a free dessert and that dessert is incredible. Enough with the fucking dinner analogy.

Beyond that the show has so far been good. I am typing as I watch, so I apologize if this becomes somewhat excessive. Chris Rock had a pretty funny monologue, I won't rehash all the jokes. A classic Olsen twins R. Kelly comment which always gets a laugh from me, no matter how many times its suggested. Lebron James was awful in his dialogue with Ashanti. Good Charlotte was okay but their performance was way overshadowed by Chris Rock's follow up joke: "Good Charlotte, more like a mediocre Green Day." Great line and overall his quips were solid.

After that there were no significant moments until Christina peformed. She was okay but 1) she chose the wrong first song-opening with "Dirty" but correctly following it up with a version of "Fighter" 2) she was out of breath the whole time and couldnt really catch up. I don't know if that is just how she performs or if it was the fucking corsety thing constricting her lungs. Regardless, it didnt even stack up to even the lamest Britney track. Not that Britney has any lame tracks, but still. Britney doing a Celine Dion cover would still be cooler than this.

There have not been any significant surprises since then. I mean its a standard VMA and I am just not as in tune with the hip kids anymore. Good Charlotte isn't that exciting and to be honest, neither is 50 Cent or Mary J Blige. I have always tried to like Ms. J Blige, but I just haven't succeeded. Its alot like trying to like the new blue Froot Loops. I mean, why wouldnt I like them, they are still Froot Loops, they just don't taste that good.

Alright, I am just going to post this. I will talk further if warranted by the circumstances. Lets see if they come strong with a GNR style return to close down the show.

Peace,

MB-K

Good Things About Matthew McConaughey That Don't Involve Bongo Drums

These things include the movie Frailty. I watched it today between my two classes. School began yesterday but I really didnt have anything. I technically had a course with Ernesto, but as he likes to do, he has not arrived for the beginning of the semester. According to everyone official he will be here next week, but I guess we shall wait and see. At least there is no reason he wouldnt this year.

Anyway, that class was cancelled, but Tuesday is my busy day and it is actually pretty fucking packed. I teach at 9:30, which means I have to get up at like 8 to get there on time and squeeze in some SportsCenter to start the day off right. Anywho, after that I have like an hour and a half to get some work done before my course on Heidegger and Tragedy taught by Rodolphe Gasche (accent on the last "e", but I dont know how to get that thingie) and then Joan and Ernesto's seminar on Affectivity and Political Radicalism. Its overall a very cool schedule, but it means that Tuesday will be going pretty much solid from 8am to about 7 pm which is a long day in anyone's book.

Today was not nearly as bad, since my class went for only about 40 minutes and then I had like 2 hours plus until Rodolphe's class. I read for a while and stuff, there was some administrative shit that I can always take care of. We went over the basic idea of the course, he explained to all the new people how he conducts his classes, and that was about it. 15 minutes was perfect to open things up and then I sat in my office for the next while. I read the handout that he gave us and then talked to Katie for a little while. I watched Frailty in the interim before Joan and will get to that in a second.

Joan's class was a little longer than I would expect on the first day of classes, but it was very very good. Basically she recapitulated her argument from last fall when this seminar discussion with Laclau began. I guess I technically have a head start on how this is constructed and stuff, but I still think it was solid and helpful. She is now reading it in light of Freud's Group Psychology, which I know almost nothing about, but still, it looks interesting. That class took the whole period, more in fact, but it was groundwork that needed to be set for the rest of the semester.

I will talk more about specific components of these classes later. This was just a brief overview. I am positive that you are very very concerned.

On a note that is much more interesting, you all should see Frailty. The movie is good, really really good. I like it alot. The film is really explicitly Hitchcockian in many ways. You will see some other obvious references, to Severn, The Usual Suspects, etc. Beyond all the cool parts about the various versions of homage it pays to suspense and horror classics the conclusion of the story is executed almost perfectly. Parts of it you will likely see coming but, in true Hitchcock style, even if you see it coming, it is completely satisfying. I want to say more, but I don't know how many people are likely to have it ruined by my commentary, and I know that Katie may still want a chance tomorrow. I will warn you before I talk too much, but if Katie decides against watching it, I will be back with much to say.

That was obviously a boring ass bloggification, but thats the sit sometimes, dig me. Hopefully I will have some humorous observations about my brake pad replacement tomorrow or something.

Peace,

MB-K

MOA and the High School Conundrum

So I like going home because it give me the opportunity to see people who I never get to see when I am in Minneapolis. The downside of this situation is that it puts me in the position to see people I have not seen since high school.

This situation was not bad at all, but a little weird, and is emblematic of many worse potential situations. Katie and I went to the MOA on Sunday and had some shopping to do along with the walking around which is usually the hallmark of our visits. We hit up the Banana Republic for a pair of pants, looked at some crystal, looked at some china, looked at some other clothes, Katie made me look at shoes, the usual deal. There are only two good things about Katie looking at shoes 1) I have a good concrete argument as to why she shouldnt buy them (she has approximately 400 billion pairs) 2) there are always plenty of seating devices in the shoe areas. The exception to these rules is the Designer Shoe Warehouse, a store I had not encountered until one very very sad day at the Walden Galleria here in Buffalo.

Here's a thought experiment designed to simulate the Designer Shoe Warehouse. I stole most of it from Douglas Adams. Here is the idea, imagine the biggest thing ever. Now discard it, you cannot even begin to imagine the size of the DSW. Gigantic times huge times enormous is the sort of thing we are getting at here. There is another Douglas Adams reference to an immense workshop where this ancient race of people builds custom planets. The workshop then has to be larger than a planet. The DSW is large enough to build several planets. Its fucking huge. They just put walls around all the space they could possibly find and then filled the entirety of that space with shoes. Incredible amounts of mostly butt ugly shoes. No one could ever need this many shoes. Let me tell you how many pairs of shoes you need. One. One fucking pair of shoes. Here is the criteria you need to use to select shoes. 1) Are they comfortable and 2) Do they adequately cover your feet. End of fucking story. I will even allow those shoe fetishists among you to have some more shoes, as long as you recognize that you are indulging in a ridiculous and extravagant excercise. You can have a pair of brown shoes, a pair of black shoes, a pair of red shoes, a pair of sandals, a pair of flip flops, a pair of boots, and a pair of sneakers. Thats all. Seriously, that is it. I may make some exception if you have a job that necessitates a different pair, like you need golf shoes or cleats or whatev, but besides that call it quits. If you want some of these shoes to be high heels, thats fine. I don't know why you wear high heels, I would imagine they hurt like fucking hell, but wear them if you want.

The biggest probelm about the DSW is that you don't get to sit somewhere while Katie wanders and looks at shoes because you would never find each other again. So you have to roam up and down these supermarket like aisles of heels and boots and sneakers and clogs and blah blah blah blah blah. The only thing I have found to entertain myself in the DSW is to grab a shoe horn and smack things with it as you walk down the aisle. Its not that amusing but its leagues better than the alternative.

Why the fuck did I go off on the DSW, fuck, MOA. Alright, so we were shopping. We are just about to leave and we walk by a Bath and Body Works. Katie decides to pop in for a pumice stone and some lotion or something and we are standing in front of the foot area (I am quite sure that Bath and Body Works used to be organized around different flavors, there were only like 5 products and they each came in like 20 different scents, and that is how the store broke down) and all of a sudden I here "Mike, how are you."

I turn around and there is Carly Roetter. I haven't seen Carly in a long time, literally I dont think I have laid eyes on the woman since the day we graduated. I like Carly, she was a nice chick and a pretty incredible actress who is apparently now managing one of the two MOA Bath and Body Works. If you do a google search on her I think you can find some pictures back from when she was the lead in Rosemount Theater production of Cabaret. I really liked that play and Carly was good in it. I think I saw every show, it gets two thumbs up the butt, which is the highest rating possible from the Mike Baxter Academy of Dramatic Review.

So I talked to Carly for a couple minutes, told her I was working on my PhD and was getting married and shit. I mentioned the people I still saw, she mentioned the ones she did. She told me a little about the reunion. She remarked that Katie Kauf looks a little like Katie Lord, which is somewhat true, and we discussed the fact that she and Kos just get married (or so we had both heard, neither of us was there).

Anyway, nothing bad happened, it was just a conversation between two people whom hadn't seen each other in a long time. It was nice to talk to her, it was just really weird. That same shit is always possible when I am back in the TC, I mean, I don't know how often it will happen, but it always could, and that is fucked up. Running into people you haven't seen in a long time is fucked off, especially when you didnt know them that well in the first place.

I cannot really imagine going to a high school reunion for that exact reason. I was in MPLS-SP for like 6 days, one friend got married, one parent came out of the closet, and I ran into one person from high school and that fucking wore me out. Imagine what it will be like when the weddings ramp up and I go back to high school. I doubt I will have many more sexual orientation changes, but I guess you never know.

That was alot more random than I imagined it would be, my bizad.

Peace,

MB-K

Sticky Keys

It really pisses me off that any time I press the shift key five times this little message about Sticky Keys. Seriously try it, just press the shift key five times.

Isn't that fucking annoying. I am not even speaking about the Sticky Keys option, maybe that rocks, I don't know. Its just annoying that if I press shift five times the computer is all like "Hey check out what I can do, aren't I sweet." I know that all ya'll are like "you can just deactivate the combination" but fuck, I don't think that should be my job. Besides, that would just make the combination something else. I mean, come on, what the fuck. If I wanted Sticky Keys and shit I could go into some options or whatever and find it, dont make my shift key your "turn on sticky keys button."

If I wanted a "turn on sticky keys" button I would have had one especially installed. If I did want shift to turn on sticky keys I wouldn't want to press it five times. Maybe I would want to press it twice, since I can imagine that pressing it only once would be a problem with the whole capital letters and shit.

I had nothing to say. I just figured Katie didnt want to listen to me rant about sticky keys. Sorry about the length of shit yesterday, it was like a full week. So yeah, check yourself.

Peace,

MB-K

Break it Down For Me Fellas...

So its been like a week since I posted anything very substantive. I apologize for that, but admittedly this is the first real time I have had my laptop on the internet in over two weeks. I will get to the part where we are back in Buffalo and stuff, but let me break it down one time.

I left my house at the climax of the West Wing repeat last Wednesday night, about 9:43. Katie's plane was arriving just after 10 and we had decided to simply wing it from the airport. If we got tired really early we could snag a hotel or a couple of Zs on the side of the rizoad. This did not end up being necessary. I drove like a motherfucker for about 8 hours and we were just exiting the Indiana tollway about 6:00. Now, I am not too knowledgeable about Chicago traffic. Basically what I know about it can be summarized by the statement that "it sucks a nut." I drove through the city once at about 3 in the morning and there was no traffic, I was able to drive right through, besides that one time I have never been in Chicago when the traffic could not be described as some level of dead fucking stopped.

So while I thought that 6 am was a little early for rush hour to have begun, who knows when you are dealing with the Windy-ass City. We decided not to risk it and opted to continue on I-80 then take the 294 back where it met up with 90 slightly outside Chicago. I figured that once we got to that side the rush hour thing wouldnt be too much of an issue. This was the wrong decision, very very much the wrong decision. Actually, I don't know that it was the wrong decision, it may have been exactly the right decision. Nonetheless, the drive sucked. We made it a couple miles into Illinois before traffic simply ceased to function. I don't understand how this shit happens. I mean, the trucks dont help the situation and there are too many people, but if you learn how to fucking merge and shit this should not happen. Its like a 4 fucking lane highway in each direction, what do you want. Anyway, we spent a good 90 minutes getting to the actual 90. At this point I had driven way way too long and was very close to passing out. We stopped for coffee and Katie took over the wheel.

Katie drove us to Madison fairly uneventfully. That was really what we were looking for in the drive from Chicago to Madison, so we were pleased. We called my bro just before we got there and shockingly, he was awake and lively. Apparently he was moving out that day so he had plenty of time. He wasnt getting his U-Haul until that night so we decided to meet up and go out for breakfast. It was a very good time.

The shitty part is that the last two times I have seen my bro have been in a fucking Perkins and neither of them has really lasted more than an hour and a half. I havent seen the dude for any significant amount of time since Christmastime and that blows. Especially since we have more and more shit in common and stuff. I mean, he likes beer now, he seems to hang out more. He would appreciate the Turf Club and Sweeneys and Nye's etc. Not that this is anything in common with me, but he has also lost an incredible amount of weight. I mean, he has been losing weight for a while, he had when I saw him this Spring, but after an entire summer of working outside, fetilizing and such, he is incredibly tanned and most likely the skinniest Baxter. If not entirely, he is very close to my mom. We had lunch, talked about shit, school, Japanese, his friends Rachelle and Ally (sic and sic) (whom, for that matter, he is not dating, contrary to common opinion) and so on. I hope we at least get to go home for Thanksgiving or something so I can spend more than a lunch at Perkins with him.

Anyway, I was exhausted but managed to drive the rest of the way into Minneapolis. We stopped at some fabric store so we could get stuff to finish up Pete's punk rock pillow. It was a brilliant creation, a blue back with a front that had a green frog playing a guitar labeled "Bob" and the last two lines from "Celebrated Summer" cross-stitched on the front. It was really really cool and only took her like 2 days. She is an outrageously skilled cross stitcher and I think Pete thought it was cool. Hopefully the kitsch value will last the test of time. So we got home at like 4:45 and hit the sack pretty much instantly. I left messages for my rents, but we went to sleep around 5 and didnt wake up until about 8.

So I woke up then and wandered downstairs. It was really really fucking hot, since my parents don't seem to believe in air conditioning, so I wasnt able to stay asleep any longer, no matter how tired I was. I went looking for some food, failed, and instead wandered into my mom's room to say hello. She was sitting on the couch, watching Will and Grace, and I sat down to say hi. Katie was still asleep and would likely stay that way either until the morning or until I woke her up. So my mom and I exchanged our pleasantries, how was the job, how are you doing, how was the drive, how is Katie, when did you leave, when does work start, are you ready for school, so on and so on and so on. That conversation was about 20 minutes long or whatever.

So then my mom starts talking in some fashion about the whole divorce situation. She is not being very specific and its very obvious that she is nervous or uncomfortable about something. Earlier that day my bro and I had been speculating about whether or not either mom or dad were dating anyone, and I suspected that maybe she was going to tell me that she was. We had both concluded that there was virtually no chance that dad was with someone else, but I guess that was a possiblity to. Instead she told me that she was gay.

It was an odd experience primarily because I simply had never thought of that possibility. I guess she had never really given me any reason to believe that she was and the whole heterosexual marriage and children thing sort of led me in the other direction. We talked about the thing for a while and as long as she and my dad are both okay I am genuinely happy for her. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be in the closet for 40ish years. The world is obviously a very different place than it was when she decided that marriage would be an easier and safer route than being a gay woman. It was and is a little weird, but in the end I am glad she is happy.

I haven't really had the chance to talk to anyone besides Katie about the situation. I have the feeling Andy will be a little pissed that I didnt tell him in person, but the last night I saw him he was way too fucking wasted to have any serious discussion. Regardless, we have had some nice conversations with my mother, its very obvious that she is a much happier person these days. I am glad she has friends and support that she didnt have before.

We went out that night to Andy J's new place. His parents moved into a townhouse which is right behind the Culver's in the AV. Its a pretty decent looking townhome actually. There is a gigantic lofted ceiling in the living room that I like and he pretty much has the whole basement to himself, a psuedo apartment. He doesnt have a kitchen, but theres a TV, a couch, a card table, and his bedroom. Its not just any TV either, its fucking Andy J's kick ass television, which he got for a steal because his bro worked at Best Buy. Regardless, it appears to be the place where everybody chills nowadays and I can understand why. They play alot of poker, I mean a fucking lot of poker.

Sanjay was in town and so Thursday night, after Katie and I had a long discussion, we headed to Andy J's basement to see all the folks. Reuter, Kevin, Sanjay, Andy J, Andy K., Dobs, Maroney, and Nermy were all in full motherfuckin effizect. We played poker for a couple hours and caught up on old times. I was extraordinarily worried that I wouldnt be able to keep up my non smoking thing, but I did regardless of all the times I wanted one. I can smell cigarettes so much more distinctly than I ever could before and holy shit does tobacco rock. I miss my lovely cigarettes, maybe I will have a cigar around my birthday or something. I got a little drunk that first night and Katie drove me home. I was very impressed with my ability to drink without smoking, something I am now confident I have down.

Friday night was the wedding, which I have said a little about before. Katie was in charge of Sanjay, Andy Kemp, and I. I spent the afternoon helping Andy pick out a present and dealing with the ideological difficulties he encountered in the form of the Wedding Registry. We had smoked a little bit before we went to Target and Andy was not his normally sober and together self. He asked every young and beautiful woman in the store if they thought that Wedding Registries distanced people from each other and if they destroyed the bond between wedding couple and the wedding guests. Regardless, it was very funny. We ran into Mrs. Wilking and her youngest daughter in the new SuperTarget and I think they could figure that we were not the most in touch of gentlemen. After a number of ridiculous debacles we got out of there with a legitimately nice vase and a set of bowls with lids which Andy purchased only because he was pissed that Katie and I had gotten Pete and Meg two presents and didnt want to be shown up.

We arrived at the wedding, Sanjay and Andy toked up in the parking garage, and we ran into James, Moody, and Cassie. Thank God that we did, because my attempt to carry the present was a failure, I am simply too weak. James helped me out. I won't say exactly what the present was in case the happy couple hasn't opened it, but trust me, it was heavy as fucking hell and I hadn't counted on carrying it up a hill into the Union Depot place. We ran into all sorts of people after we entered the door, and thankfully there was a young woman to take the present from me. We talked to the Tara Lucinda Tate, who is looking very well, about her exciting new job in charge of one of the most prestigous debate programs in the country. We talked to Fishy, who Katie had seen recently but hadn't entered my vision since sections, and saw Erin K. who I correctly assumed would be sloppy sloppy sloppy ass drunk by the end of the evening.

The ceremony was nice and very very quick. It was cute and romantic without being over the top. I think me and Andy were the only ones who caught it, but we both started to giggle when part of the vows was "To play with each other." The bridesmaid's dressers were classy, the whole trend of the same fabric and colors in different dress styles. That worked especially well given Claire's (Meg's sister) clothing constraints. Meg's dress was very pretty and I really like her hair, especially since I am not traditionally given to updos. The physical space of the Union Depot place was very good for a wedding as well. It was a little hot, but I was wearing a shirt and tie and it is a Minnesota August. There were large vaulted ceilings and good lighting and a very pretty bar. I already spoke about the food, but it rocked. There was a tasty dessert which was similar to a apple and cheese filled baklava, lots of the flaky phylo layers, you know what I mean.

Andy, Sanjay, and I drank alot of booze. I mean, we drank alot of booze. There was beer from the moment the ceremony ended to the moment dinner started. I had a beer with me during dinner, but we drank wine as well. We were at the table which I prefer to call the "people who can tolerate Andy Kemp" table and of course had to act like it. Hannah and Kaya were at the table with us, so at least I got to spend some time with the big K. I never see the dude, but holy fuck has he grown. I cannot even explain how much older he is now nor can I explain how much he looks like his dad. Fuck, he is a little AJ, which is slightly scary, but also kinda cool. Everyone at our table had to act like they were at the table they were at however, including badly hitting on a waitress and drinking wine out of coffee cups. What the fuck people, there were wine glasses on the table, why don't you use them. They just seem to have disappeared or something. Fucking minors, buck up and get a wine glass. If it was later and we had been drinking for three hours, that is one thing, but we couldnt have had more than a couple drinks each.

Regardless, we went on to drink up to those expectations, though I never got quite drunk enough to dance. I did get to see Cort and Carol dance to Digital Underground, so at least that was good. Dobs was getting down by the end of the evening, about the time that Andy started to buy shots of Crown Royal for everyone. That also solidified my drunkenness and luckily the bar closed shortly afterwards. We said goodbye to everyone and eventually made our way back to the parking garage for another round of puffing out of a mickey-frickin Coke can. I forget to mention that no one had a piece on them, and since I quit smoking papers were not available. So we hit it up with Hannah and AJ and Katie endured the long and extraordinarily difficult process of driving us home. Andy was loud and obnoxious (surprise) and Sanjay had an extensive argument with his mother about whether or not we had a sober driver and whether or not he himself had been drinking.

We eventually did make it down to Andy J's house, where we hung around for a minute before going home. I was able to sleep all day so I woke up with only a moderate hang over. We sat around the house and had a tasty dinner on Saturday night, an old fashioned Minnesota family barbecue. Some homemade bratwurst (not homemade in my home, but homemade by the butcher my parents bought it from), sweet corn on the cob, and baked beans. Yummy yum yum. I hadn't had brats all summer, partially because I dont have a que, partially because they aren't as big out here, and partially because there weren't homies to que it up with.

We actually had lunch with my mother that day as well. We went to Culver's and rolled Butterburer style. Their turtle sundaes are mighty tasty, even if they don't match up to those served at the Tasty Treat down the street from my house. It was good. Even though we didnt spend as much time with my dad as I would have liked, I guess it was reasonable that there was more time with my mom this time around. Saturday night we went to Fishy's place, saw his daugher Lexy again, and played some poker. We also admired Fishy's DVD collection and watched both Jackass and Old School. I forgot how fucking hilarious Will Farrell can be.

We left Fishy's place late and I dropped Andy and Sanjay off at B-Dubs before taking Katie home to sleep. She had drank a good deal of wine and needed some rest. I left as she fell asleep and went back to Andy's. We played poker and Mario Golf Toadstool Tour (a fantastic fucking game and the inspiration for my plan to get a GameCube) till the sunset. Andy managed to get himself fucking wasted in the 45 minutes I was gone, but we still had a good time. I was scared Andy and Kevin were about to kill each other, but that kinda shit happens.

Alright, that is way more than enough updating. I will check y'iz'all on the flizzle.

Peace,

MB-K

Brief Shout Outs

First of all, to the happy newlyweds, Meg and Pete. The wedding this Friday evening, for which I came back to the TC, was fantastic. Alot of people I had not seen in many moons were in attendance. The drinking was good, I have no idea how much alcohol I consumed, but based on the behavior of myself, Sanjay, and Andy on the ride back from the reception, I would estimate about 1 buttload. The food was fantastico. Christo's, a greek restaurant, was in charge and they came strong. I don't know exactly how much say Pete and Meg personally had over the menu, but whoever made the final decisions shares my palate. There was a solid Greek salad with beaucoup de feta and olives, there were some green beans and some baby red potatoes. There was a really tasty beef tenderloin dish in a tomato sauce-it was excellent. Very Northern Greece, right in the mountains on the Italian border. Mario did a show there once, though I can't remember the taste of the region. It mixes the Italian appearnce of a pasta sauce with some very distinctly Greek flavors in the beef. It was rounded out by a phylo pastry wrapped chicken breast. Very very good. I will talk more about the food and the wedding at some point. This is just a brief shout out. Congrats to the honeymooners.

Others on the brief shout out list-Sanjay, for winning last night's poker tournament; Katie for finishing the largest glass of wine ever poured by a human being; Leslie Fishbein for some incredible bruschetta; and my parents, specifically my mother, for reasons that an entirely different, much longer post will have to tackle when I retrun to Suckalo. I think we are heading to the MOA now, Katie has to get the shopping fix, even if I am counting on my parents to buy Chipotle for lunch.

Peace,

MB-K

Denis Leary Tribeuce

So tonight is the Comedy Central Roast of Denis Leary and besides the fact that Comedy Central has been promoting the fuck out of this show, they have also had alot of Denis Leary stuff on all weekend. I haven't exactly loved his movies and I dont think I ever saw an episode of The Job, which from everything I have heard, is definitively one of the worst shows ever made.

Nonetheless, having not seen this Roast, I must give Mr. Leary his props. It might just be because I had this routine both on CD and video tape but No Cure for Cancer is one of the best acts ever. There are so many classic bits included, the NyQuil bit, the asshole song, the restaurant with two smoking sections. I think almost everyone knows at least a couple lines from No Cure for Cancer:

"Oh yeah, the filter's the best part. Thats where they keep the heroin. Only us real good smokers know that fuckin secret."

"I built a bong out of my head!! Stick the pot in this ear smoke it out of this one."

"NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you, you giant fucking Q."

"I had a six-foot erection with a giant cheeseburger on the end."

I could go on and on, but I am sure it would just bore you.

Anyway. Maybe at some point I had enough in common with Denis Leary politically that this was alot funnier for me than it was for others. Even though I no longer agree with him on almost anything, his bits are so well done, so perfectly timed and arranged and have the kind of staying power that you rarely see in stand up. To some extent No Cure for Cancer might be referred to as a "one-person show" rather than simply stand up. Its filmed in that fashion, everything is even meore rehearsed than your average Comedy Central special. I need that DVD too, I gotta get on top of these DVDs that I need.

Regardless, I just wanted to give some mad props to Denis Leary on his roast day. It will probably always be my favorite routine and I doubt I will ever lose the ability to do the rant at the end of Asshole. "And when I'm done suckin down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American flag, then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam container right out the side, and their ain't a goddam thing you can do about it, you know why? Because we got the bombs okay. Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want, they can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tianneman square and it won't make a lick of difference because we got the bombs."

As an actual argument about the political order of the world at the end of the Cold War, this may be pure nonsense. But it is brilliantly written and "democracy cakewalk through Tianneman Sqaure" is fucking comic gold.

Peace,

MB-K

Annabel Continued...

So here is the deal, it may get a little complicated, and I probably won’t go through and actively edit this enough to make it perfectly clear. The most interesting part of the movie, at least in my opinion, is when the documentary maker appears to hand Ron Jeremy and the producer of Annabel’s Gangbang a piece of Annabel’s collegiate writing. They read it over and both appear pretty stunned, Ron especially, commenting first on how different she sounds on paper from what she says in person. The director says the most incredible thing in the whole film:

“Her intellect, her persona, is that of a delicate flower. Doesn’t that in itself become more obscene knowing that she can write and think like a human being, in fact, better than most.”

Wow, it blows me away. Seriously it does, out of all the speeches and interviews and college classrooms shown in this film, there is no question that the best line in the whole movie is spoken by a 50-something porn producer in a crappy hotel room. We will go through a couple parts about the quote and talk about it, probably in relation to Lacan, but lets note first of all, that it is exactly in contradiction to anything like Concordia's naked argument and, depending on how we see Ms. Chong’s comments, completely contradicts the on-face message of the film. This fact should become clear as we go through the statement itself.

First off, her body is in no way involved in the statement. The only lines which precede the quote I have above are discussing the fact that when she is in the spotlight she gets too nervous to talk in the same way that she writes. We have her intellect and her persona. Now, obviously, the fact that she is a porn star involved in the World’s Biggest GangBang is the assumed background here, so we won’t ignore that. The point of this fact is that it changes what we may assume is the object of the second sentence (at least it’s the second sentence as I have written the movie out) from her body or the pornographic material to “her intellect, her persona.” It is these elements that are referred to by the “that” in “Doesn’t THAT itself become more obscene.”

Reading her body back into the statement we can add the context of the quote in. Here is how I would formulate it: “Doesn’t the fact that the woman involved in the world’s biggest gangbang is smarter than most people make her (not the video, not her body, not the sex acts involed) even more obscene.” There is no question, none at all, that if read this way the quote is directly against any sort of project by which the incorporation of nudity and intellectualism subverts the demeaning tones of the sexual element. In fact, this quote is pretty much a straight turn. Nudity and sexuality are not brought into line, are not transformative, are not less exploitative towards women, but intellect is sexualized and obscenity dominates her thought.

Without going into the Lacanian blah-bitty-blah (I really like that spelling of blabbity blah by the way) that I plan to do shortly, there are some other ways we can tell this pretty easily. To start, Annabel’s gangbang is the best selling porno video of all time, selling more than 40,000 copies at the time this documentary was made and still going strong. That is apparently about 3 times as many copies as what would be considered a runaway blockbuster in the pornographic world. Annabel’s popularity in the intellectual arena happens to be a whole hell of a lot lower than her popularity in the world of masturbatory videography. What she interpreted as a project to show feminine involvement in the sexual act has become the most whacked-off-to thing ever created. Furthermore, the end of the film (though there are some sad moments) is ultimately not Annabel’s success in the academy. She does graduate from USC, but ultimately elects to return to the world of pornography. Where she apparently still resides. The conversation she has with the documentary maker at the end of the film is revealing. She is in the car smoking and speaking about how she feels going back to work, 1 year or more since she last made porn.

“Yeah, I am feeling nervous. I am more nervous now than I am, like, the first time I did it. I got nothing to prove, right, nothing to live up or down to, so. I guess, hell, I’ll just go in and have fun. But now, I mean, you remember that bitchy phone call, you know, “I AM ANNABEL CHONG!” Today I am just sitting here thinking “Am I Annabel Chong? Can I still do it? Do I still have what I need? After all that has happened, you know, have I once and for all lost my balls?””

The attitude we are seeing here is no question different than what we had back in the days where the woman responding to the “reverse patriarchy” went to get fucked on screen for fun. She explicitly compares for us how she feels today versus how she felt back in those days. Why is nervousness a component of the story now? The next sentence answers this question, SHE HAS NOTHING TO PROVE!! Without the ideological element of the equation there a “regular” reaction to pornography arises. She doesn’t have anything she has to live either up or down to and only then is she nervous. Pornography is more threatening, involves more questions about identity and the like, sans the intellectual bullshit.

Okay, I have to keep this in small chunks. I can do like 40ish hours of work a week, but Wal Mart has eaten up most of those hours. Serious preliminary writing about film will have to wait. On the brightside, we got a section of a paper/book coming along here. Now I just need season 3 of CSI on DVD.

Peace,

MB-K

Annabel Chong

So Netflix recommended this documentary to me called Sex: The Annabel Chong story. Annable Chong apparently started the trend of the "World's Biggest GangBang" genre of pornography and set the world's record for continuous sex when she did 251 guys in 1995. I don't know how exactly the decision to document her was made, but I would imagine she had something to do with it. Very quickly the film indicates that the reason this is interesting is because Annabel Chong was a 22 year old undergraduate student at USC studying Anthropology and Gender Studies.

Now in some ways this is not entirely interesting; alot of the interviews are stupid and with stupid people saying cliched shit about the porn industry that even people who don't care about porn could know or figure out. It also has alot of the lame-ass indie-College-girl things to say about sexuality and such that don't intereest me at all. The woman, whose actual name is Grace something, appears pretty intelligent. Everything she says is better done than the majority of the population, its not brilliant or anything, but certainly not something any random person could come up with.

Yes, women should not be considered passive sex objects in the face of male-dominant sexual activity. Yes, it is ridiculous that while it is considered masculine to have many sex partners as a man it is considered anti-feminine for a woman to emjoy and participate in alot of sex. Yes, sexuality is often repressed or ignored even in "enlightened Western democracies." I don't want to get into the Foucauldian question of repression or expression but you get the point. This film spends a good majority of its length exploring those three issues and they are not fantastic or anything. If the Concordia women are reading this maybe they will really get a kick out of it or whatever. It was not a bad film certainly and at the very least it was interesting. A better way to spend the afternoon than watching reruns of SNL episodes I have seen at least 20 times.

There are a couple times during the film where there actually are some really really cool things done or said. I will mention them briefly, but you can check out the flick if you want to see more. First off, there are a number of other people who are interviewed who are also in the porn industry. Obviously the producers and directors of Annabel's gangbang are there as is Ron Jeremy, who apparently works for this company and was the MC for the event. Well, Jeremy is on her side for no particular reason, he is all like, she is a very intelligent and talented young woman and she should be able to do whatever she wants and I respect her and blah blah blah. Ron Jeremy, regardless of what you think about what he does, has always seemed to just be a nice guy who is generally concerned about other people. Most of the other people are competing porn stars. The only other porn star I can remember saying anything supportive about this woman's decision to do 251 other guys is an obvious drag queen guy who is the star of "Chicks With Dicks."

Everyone else interviewed at this giant porn convention in Las Vegas pretty much said that she was slapping them in the face. One dude said really explicitly that she was re-exposing that porn wasn't as dignified as he thought it was and instead she was exposing porn as the dirty thing that it is. Seriously, there were a bunch of people who were pissed, who said this kind of shit. The film was really explicitly making fun of them, ridiculing the idea that people considered porn something other than sex for money in several ways. First of all, all the people commenting on this were listed as "Mark Johnson-Star of Anal Police 1-4" or whatever on the bottom of the screen. The point of the documentary of course was not to make fun of porn stars or to indicate that they were not intelligent, since Annabel herself was marked as really really smart, but rather that the woman who tried to distinguish herself as an actress in film noirs etc. was upset only because Annabel made it impossible for her to identify herself as something other than someone who fucked for a living.

There was also a segment in which Annabel comes back to porn after a brief hiatus due to the efforts of a new porn director to get her back into the biz. This guy is the "new porn director" who is not pretending to be a real actor director etc. but intsead is the real explicit version of what these other porn stars had accused Annabel of doing. His negotiations with his actors included the phrases "fuck and suck" and "piss and fist" which quite literally made me laugh out loud. The interview with him turned into the conversation about how once you put a camera in the room prostitution becomes legal. Then he simply explained how ridiculous he thought it was that you couldnt "Pay someone to suck your dick. I mean, tell me why not. Why can't you pay someone to suck your dick?" Hilarious and well done. Unfortunately, this portion of the film's argument was only about 5 minutes of the overall run time.

I wrote longer about this than I expected to, so hopefully I will return to the other interesting argument later tonight. Its pretty complicated as well and I am nervous that it may result in a complicated discussion about the encounter with the real. Anyway, I am going to watch Trading Spaces now. Katie tribeuce.

Peace,

MB-K

Pros and Cons and Whatev...

So a brief continuation of the pros and cons:

pro-I have a bigger computer monitor to use
con-katie has my laptop

pro-I can watch the TV shows that I always like, regardless of what Katie would watch
con-its really kinda fun to see her react to the shows she doenst like and its cute to watch the shows she likes

pro-I didnt have to work on Monday
con-I was really really lonely

That is enough of the whole pros and cons thing. It was a great idea on Monday and I really was just gonna run with it, but eventually it just didnt work anymore so I gave up on the whole fucking thing. No more pros and cons.

So on Monday early afternoon I got a call from the Dobs. The Dobs was like, I am in New York City and I am driving home, I will stop by. I was all like sure, whatev the Dobs. So he said he would call me when he got close, probably around 7 that night. I got no call from the Dobs that day and that was no surprise, since Dobs has told me he would be here three different times and has never shown. Sometimes he calls me from wherever it is he was going and informs me that he accidentally drove by. Sometimes he misses his turn, sometimes it was too early or too late, sometimes his phone breaks. Sometimes he doesnt realize how far it is to Buffalo, etc. etc.

Well, imagine my surprise when the Dobs called me the next day to say he didnt leave on Monday but would actually be leaving that day. I got the messages when I woke up to go to work, as I obviously wasn't going to wake up to answer a call from a number I didnt know at like 9:30 am. I was still all like, believe that shit when I be seein that shit and shit.

The ultimate point is that the Dobs called me that evening and actually showed up at my apartment. We didn't really do anything, we just sat here, smoked a little stuff that the Dobs brought with him and chilled. It is a little ridiculous that I havent really hung around with anyone besides Katie in like 2 1/2 months. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy to just chill out in the old apartment with the Katie bear and watch reruns of Dawson's Creek or the Gilmore Girls or any of the WB's other quality programs. Nonetheless, I miss the occassional chillin night with the old folks from the TC.

Anyway, that was my night with the Dobs. He apparently got these tattoos, one of which is okay though it is some Japanese characters that mean bravery or whatever with a Japanese fighting fish in front of them. It actually looks pretty good, regardless of your personal feelings about tattooing Japanese characters on yourself and the value of the words those characters represent. It is just a decent looking tattoo, I like the "font" (or whatever its called in the tattooing world) and the design etc. You may have specific feelings about tattoos of Japanese fighting fish too but I have virtually no experience with them, so go fuck yourself. I think they are kinda cool, even though I have never actually seen them fight.

So on the less cool side, the Dobs got another tattoo. That tattoo is his initials, which isnt inherently loserific, but he did get it on his ankle. Seriously, the Dobs has a tattoo on his ankle, its so lame and so loserish and so fucked up. Its absolutely ridiclous. I mean, the Dobs recognizes that at this point, he was not sober and made a mistake. None the less, it is funny as hell when you see the Dobs and his ankle tat. The Dobs just has to pray that he never goes to jail with a tatoo on his ankle, it is really lame. Make sure no woman ever sees him with his socks off. Poor Dobs.

So the Dobs is driving back to Minnesota now. I bought him some gas this morning, but I dont think he has nearly enough money to get back to Minnesota. He had like 50 bucks, he didnt have any cigarettes, any food, anything to drink, and had to pay for both gasoline and tolls. Tolls alone back to Minnesota are like 20 bucks and gas is simply more than 30. Unless the Dobs' fucking car became a hybrid in the last month or two, I mean, if you get 400 miles per tank you only need 2 1/4 tanks to get home. Fundamentally, the point is that it can't be done. The Dobs was obviously going to buy cigarettes. The Dobs was high, the Dobs was obviously going to buy food and drink. My guess is that he made it somewhere in Ohio before he either called someone he knew in the area or started stealing golf clubs or whatever. I guess we will hear about it later. Maybe from prison, where his ankle tatt gets him some hardcore loving.

Peace,

MB-K

It Was The Best of Times...

...it was also, of course, the worst of times.

We will do this in some sort of pro and con list.

Pro: The NFL Season is underway

This rocks for several reasons obviously, first of all, its just a great fucking sport. It is fun to watch no matter who is playing, it is the best fucking game in the world and there ain't no answer to that shit. I get to watch football highlights every morning on SportsCenter, there is new shit on packers.com everyday, overall things are just much better. I have occassionally been looking at the Green Bay Gazette online to read their Packers coverage, which is always wonderful and extensive. Most importantly, I get to watch the Packers play.

Preseason is preseason obviously, we all understand that its not real football and the scores don't mean anything or whatever, but still, its like football. Even if its only for 2 series I got to watch Favre play the game tonight and it don't get much better than that shit. The Packers offense did not look well in a couple respects, the O Line especially, who let my boy Vonnie through and gave someone who was not an ex-Packer their own chance to hit Brett Favre. I was screaming at Sherman to get him out of there at that point, you dont let Brett Fucking Farve get hit twice in a preseason game. Its not like he forgot how to be the best quarterback I have ever seen play the game in the offseason. Still, I understand that Sherman needs the offense, especially with so many new players at the skill positions, get some game situation reps together.

I also don't need to explain to anyone who listened to or watched any of the game tonight how strained the Pack offensive attack was. We were missing both of our high caliber tackles and the first timers we have backing them up are simply no good. Tauscher and Clifton are both pro-bowl quality takcles if they are healthy all year and shit, but regardless, we will see about that. Neither of them are playing until week three of the preseason, which is the Packers first game on grass. By that point at least Favre will be playing the first entire quarter and we will see how the offense looks. We were also of course missing both Driver and Ferguson, meaning that Carston Bailey and this Hicks dude and Javon Walker were starting at wideout, so that also eliminates some options. Favre got hit twice because of these combinations. Ahman Green played a little bit and didnt look either bad or spectacular. He took a really nicely set up screen pass for like 18 yards and it looked like the good old days back in 1997. Even without a legitimate tackle the blocking was well done.

Favre also made one classic play. With the pocket collapsing on a seven step drop Favre stepped up in the center and fired a 23 yard completion to Javon Walker. He slung it about 3/4 arm and he still has the fucking mustard. I believe he finished 4 for 6 with 54 yards, not bad at all for the preseason. Far too many passes, even those of Doug Pederson, are going to tight ends who don't have the skills. I suppose they are prepping for the fact that with the potentially probable signing of Wesley Walls tomorrow, if the young wide outs don't develop most of the plays will be 7 yard flashes over the middle, since at least we know Bubba and Wes can catch the ball.

The other side of the ball presented some alternate conundrums. To begin with, we have reason to be questioning the linebackers, starting a rookie and some brand new people. No matter how good this Nick Barnett kid is gonna be, I don't know if he has the nuts this early in his career. Sherman says he looks fucking great in practice and that even if he doesnt have it this year, he is the future leader of this defence. The d-line stays pretty strong, though we lose Vonnie, we have KGB and Joe Johnson, who I think are both still on the way up.

The secondary looks great, we have awesome corners. Also, our corners are identical, they both have those long ass dark braids which cover their names and similar body structures. Their numbers are also a little close. None the less, they both made at least one sweet play. McKenzie should be the fucking stud in a world where there is another true shut down corner on the other side. Anyway, I like at least our pass defense once we get our junior linebackers together.

I will save further commentary about how much Brett Favre rocks for later on. There is at least one more entire season of this discussion.


Con: Katie left for the Wyoming Debate Co-Operative today

I have nothing against the Wyoming Debate Co-Operative, except for the fact that it is a bunch of hippie communists living in some communal love fest in the mountains. I know that Katie really likes being there and has been there for every year of its existence. A little debate work every now and then is probably much more exciting than sitting at home watching TLC all day. I mean, I dont know that the amount of work Katie tends to do at this institute is better than watching TLC all day, but a little bit would be. She gets to see Dave and her other friends out there and overall I am for it.

Nonetheless, it leaves me lonely here, and still having to work at Wal-Mart. I can handle it for the last week and a half, but I dont know that I could have done any more. I do not like working there and I do not like being alone. It is a very shitty combination.

Most importantly, it just sucks to get used to someone being here and then have them gone for a significant amout of time. Thankfully Katie will be home before we take our road trip back to the MSP. Can't wait for that shit. Pro and Con list will continue later on, there are more, but I am sick of writing.

Going to watch this American Chopper show instead, I have heard its cool.

Peace,

MB-K