Wednesday, May 03, 2006

But I Don't Care, I Care, I Really Don't Care, Did You See the Drummer's Butt

I haven’t talked about Idol very much, but I should mention that someone tonight won the award for the most brilliant move in music competition history. I believe their train of thought must have gone something along the lines of: “Well, last week it was a wardrobe malfunction, this week I think we should have McFeever wiggle around the stage on her knees in a fashion that is something between a lap dance and…well some other pelvic thrusting activity you could do on or around your knees.” I think Paris Bennett goes home, which is sad since it’s the first time anyone really exceptional has bitten the dust.

I had to side with Rory tonight when an argument broke out regarding Ashlee and the dark versus blonde hair. I can’t imagine that there is a correlation between the more traditional Rory/Lorelei controversy, the controversy that A.J is so painfully incorrect about. Maybe I’m wrong. I could start

www.doyouthinkrorieishotterthanlorelei
anddoyouthinkdarkhairedashleeishotter
thanblondeashlee.com

then evaluate the results statistically, but fundamentally I think this is just a situation where Lorelei is too old. It happens, she was wrong about the Rory situation last summer. I guess it is evidence against the otherwise true statement that being hotter than someone logically paired with you makes you better at determining which half of a logical pair is hotter than the other half.

If I owned a company that made GPS driving direction thingies for cars, that I would create a feature where you could select “random destination” and it would take you somewhere. I mean, maybe you could do it like “random destination within 50 miles” and you would get a trip to somewhere cool without even knowing what to expect. I mean, you could also have true randomness, where the computer would just randomly tell you when to turn and you would end up either somewhere really cool or somewhere really stupid related only to the statistics of how many places are cool versus how many are totally stupid. But I think the idea of random computer generated road trip would be awesome. You could go even more specific and have the computer choose an awesome restaurant within like 10 miles, which would totally solve the “where the hell are we gonna eat” crisis by deciding for you. I would rock at being the guy to scout out cool places to go and I could work for cheap, provided I got money for gas and Coke Zero.

Jade is obviously a tremendously agonizingly annoying character. She is one of the worst antagonists (or best I suppose, she is good in her badness, chure) in the history of ANTM. She said, tonight, what I believe is the single stupidest thing that any human being has ever said. This is in addition, mind you, to all the Bush-like jobbityings of the English language which they highlighted in the flashback show like two weeks ago. This is a literal quote:

“I will always remember this, shooting with an elephant that reminds me of an ancient dinosaur. Cuz they are in the dinosaur family.”

Hippo sez there is no way I can top that with my own words. So I will simply close.

Peace,

MB-K

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