Sunday, August 28, 2005

I Think You Are Blind to the Fact That The Hand You Hold is the Hand that Holds You Butt

Its been a productive final day before the beginning of stuff. I got the syllabus finalized for the course I'm teaching and plotted out the last of the dates etc. I'm actually really looking forward to teaching a class that doesn't focus on the practice of writing, but rather on the concepts, ideas and arguments associated with it. We're starting with Ernest Gaines A Lesson Before Dying and I don't think there is anything I'm gonna have them do in terms of theory for that first book, maybe just get into the way of talking about literature and the combination of analysis and politics that I want to develop. I am somewhat unsure of what the kids who take this class will be like. I have almost a full class and while there are some English majors, they are by no means a majority. There are also some first years and while I'm sure the first years who would be interested in taking a comp-lit class will have some idea of what they are doing, the first years I've worked with in the past might not really be able to hack what I've been thinking at this point. Thats why the first week isn't too intense.

I think Tinkerbell is a better name for a little dog than it is for a fairy, when it all comes down to it. I mean, I guess the fairy dings and rings when she flaps her wings and shit, but when a dog has a little bell on its collar and that bell jingles when the puppy runs its ridiculously cute. I am not gonna name a dog Tinkerbell or anything, but the chances are pretty high that I won't be assigning fairy monikers any time soon.

I read a fair number of blogs, not as many as some people I am aware of, but a good number. I occasssionally poke through a "sex-industry" related blog because I find them interesting as a genre and because they link off some of the City Pages blogs I dig through. Anyway, what I find hilarious is that the blogs of people who work in such industries are very rarely too explicit, while on the other hand, high school debaters have less compunction than pretty much anyone. I don't have any other blog news. I guess this paragraph is over.

Jay from Project Runway made a guest appearance on last week's The Comeback. This is a show that I didn't like at all for the first three-four episodes, but its grown on me and anytime you can find an excuse to get Jay on television is something I am in favor of. Lisa Kudrow as an actress doesn't seem to add alot, but the writing is good. The show is like a less funny version of Curb Your Enthusiasm in alot of respects, since all the jokes depend upon being in really uncomfortable situations. It would never make a top list of mine, but its worth 30 minutes on tivo.

We've been eating really well these past two days. Yesterday was chicken stuffed with goat cheese and spinach and some fresh green beans with basil-butter. That evening we decidied that we needed to make cookies, so Katie concocted a batch of her favorite Hersey Bar Cookies, which have a toffee-esque flavor and are really just wonderful. Today I made Rosemary Grilled Pork Chops and Mashed Potatoes With Apples and Thyme. I think we got all these recipes out of one issue of Cooking Pleasures, and those three alone made the subscription worthwhile. The taters with apples is really a wonderful combination and one of the best recipes we've found in the last couple years, period.

Hippo just looked up at me and did the most adorable little meow dance, so I will oblige and see what the Empress wants.



Friday, August 26, 2005

I'm Walking Down the Line, That Divides Me Somewhere in My Butt

It has been uncharacteristically cool for the month of August these past couple days, so we were actually able to turn the air conditioning off. That really means something coming from me, but it might even mean more in the world of the Hippo. She likes the fresh air and adores staring out of the more open windows, but she is not a warm weather kitten. We realized that she discovered the coolest spot in the entire house very quckly, and as such has been not always out watching TV with us. Anyway, it warmed up today while we were out running a long ass series of errands and we have now returned the air to its upright conditioned position.

Today was the beginning of Katie's birthday celebration, insofar as I went out to purchase gifts for her. I got some good stuff, let me tell you, but I will have to wait and allow her to post whatever she's received on Tuesday afternoon, or, knowing my wife as I do, Tuesday morning. The day of her birthday is also the first day back to school for me at Buffalo, so I think it will be a quick one. Its the first day of class anyway, so I wouldn't worry too much about how long the session will go or the necessity for office hours. I think I'm gonna have to deal with the ridiculousness of picking up a parking pass, but it usually wouldn't take more than 45 minutes even around lunchtime, a rush I hope to beat.

I received a good string of messages today from A.J. in honor of, we all know what, the second day of The Great Minnesota Get Together. He made his wait out there with Tiffany and El Grande K for mini-donuts, cheese curds, etc. He's already planned a second excursion for the beginning of next week, so everything he didn't get around to is still waiting for him. Apparently the highlight new food for the year is spaghetti and meatballs on a stick, something I don't know anything about. Could certainly be interesting, but I'm not sure how the spaghetti clings on, maybe its coated and deepfried or something, and in my general experience, deep fried pasta is the nuts.

Some of those among you may be surprised to find out a fact which I discovered today: women's socks cost an arm and an assload. I have prolly complained before about how stupid it is that socks are expensive, since they are an even more pointless item in terms of fashion and such than shoes. Unless you are wearing glass slippers, your socks are litterally almost entirely blocked from view. Katie got 4 pairs of socks for like 8 bucks which was apparently, a pretty good deal. Admittedly, they are Ralph Lauren socks, but again, they remain socks. Apparently each of the two-packs she purchased usually runs for 10 bucks. 10 bucks. I think socks should be legally forbidden than costing more than a dollar a pair. I'm usually all in favor of being able to purchase given luxury items, but as a society, shouldn't we fucking decide that there are certain items we shouldn't waste resources, time, or energy on. If there was 20 seconds a day put into sock design by three people, that's 5 person-minutes a week that we could have spent on inifinitely more important things, like new euphamisms for "vagina" or ice cream sandwich flavors.

I'm psyched, like uber psyched, for the return of the fall TV lineups. On the top of my "Totally Psyched For" list are The Gilmore Girls, The West Wing, The O.C. and Lost, which very well may be my four favorite shows. Thats not even to mention Veronica, Arrested Development, Survivor, the CSIs, and both flavors of The Apprentice. Hippo, who was not old enough last year to fully appreciate the fall premieres, is potentially even more psyched. She's purring with anticipation as we speak.



Monday, August 22, 2005

She Calls Out to a Man on the Street, Sir Can You Help Butt

Pack played the Bills on Saturday night. I had considered going to the game, if for no other reason then I’ve never seen the good guys on the road. Not to mention that a Brett Favre touchdown pass is a Brett Favre touchdown pass no matter where it happens. Anyway, I ultimately decided that since we are poor it would be a bit silly to spend 40 bucks a ticket to watch the starters play 20 minutes and even though I am hopeful for the future and the Aaron Rodgers who embodies it, he’s hardly worth 10-20 bucks of interest on my credit card at the moment. Anyway, while alot of peeps, even the cats at who usually seem to have rose colored contacts surgically implanted, think the defense was an enormous disaster I wasn’t really that concerned. I mean, yeah, we’re not gonna win alot of 7-0 games, but when you start Ahmad Carroll you can’t really expect that. The line had some decent penetration on a couple drops, which I suppose you could attribute to the fact that there is a happy-footed rookie QB running the Bills offense. We didn’t get the sacks but its preseason and just being in the backfield is a development after last year.

#4 didn’t play long, thank God, but he looked good. Threw a 12 yard TD to Ahman in a play that really seemed to emphasize the incredible physical condition that he came to camp in, so says every media outlet in history. Five step drop, rolled slightly right, flushed back a step to the left, avoided a sack and laid it over the defender into his arms. Bills looked alright and I’m like a kite on Willis McGahee, I always knew he would be a stud. The Buffalo rubes are already selling out on this one, sports radio is almost unlistenable in this town until week one of the NFL season. I cheer for the Bills as much as any team in the AFC, but even I can recognize that playoffs, with a rookie taking the snaps, in a division that includes the Super Bowl champions, is far from a certainty.

School is right around the corner and I am, as usual, sad. Its not that I hate being at school, it just signals commitments and awkwardness and the like. I have alot of getting ready to do and not a tremendous amount that I have accomplished, so this week should be an interesting one. The writing is progressing fairly well, but the very fact that I will finally be discussing it, showing it to people, and figuring out if I can do it or not for sure, thats kinda terrifying. I can work for 8 consecutive months and still be finished by the first of May. Thats good for me and Katie certainly, hopefully it will work out for the job market too. September 16th, btw, is when my first glimpse into that situation begins.

The freaking Sunday night network Simpson’s has played this episode where Bart gets fat on the pimped out vending machines like three times in the past month. I don’t expect a new season over the summer, but come on. TV besides Big Brother is really odd at this time of the summer, so I haven’t been excited about alot. Six Feet Under ended last night but I’m still a week behind, so I can’t comment on the finale. I can say that the third to last installment was fucking heartbreaking, one of the most difficult hours of television I have ever watched. It really emphasized exactly how little of a death related situation is shown in almost all TV and film. The entire episode focused on that moment, the preparations for the funeral, people’s inability to deal, the funeral and burial itself. Even on a show which features at least one death every week, this was really notable.
On a final note, this is the week leading up to the Katie birthday extravaganza, as it has become known around our house. Hippo has been really excited by the process, though she has not fully decided what to get. She could certainly just make her an adorable little card f some sort, but she’ll probably get her kittenish mind set on something extravagant. Luckily, she deserves it.



Saturday, August 20, 2005

And I’m Missing You, And Nobody Knows it But Butt

To some extent the computer issues have been resolved. I got one from the ROC, thanks to Mr. Ken, whom we met up with yesterday afternoon when I journeyed accross Western New York to do a ridiculously small amount of paperwork. We had a tasty Mexican lunch and talked about the upcominig topic, season, etc. Chimichangas are not good for you, that is the most profound insight I developed during the experience. Not to say there weren’t some quality ideas regarding China and differing forms of pressure that might be exerted upon it. This computer suffers from a good number of maladies, but most important is that the battery licks its own nuts. Anyway, while the general warranty is still in effect, the battery is only covered for a year, so I just have to remain tethered until yet another laptop is ordered and received by the debate squad. Regardless, Katie no longer has to share her computer, which is the best case situation for everyone, Hippo included.

We are 5, count ‘em, 5 days from The Great Motherfuckin’ Minnesota Get-Together. I was fortunate enough to get there last year, spending the day with A.J. and his little hombre. We will not be returning to Minnesota this August and each of the very very few times in my life I have missed the State Fair I have been saddened. Even some 960 miles from the area between Snelling and Cleveland, Como and Larpenteur, there starts to be a buzz in the air near late August. I think there is a cosmic glow in the force the moment the mini-donuts booth on Judson fires up the donut machines for the first time, when the doors are unlocked to the food building and the cheese-curdish love that has been bottled up for around 340 days is unleashed, when the kids who work at Sweet Martha’s begin to rehearse the cry that rings in every child’s heart of “cookies please!”, when the milk tanker pulls up accross the street from the barns, the oven-baked brownie booth, the icee stand, and just away from the Australian battered potatoes, when single-occupant root beer barrels are rehooked to their taps, when the giant slide gets nicely lubed up, when REO Speedwagon turns their mid-nineties model Chevy Astro Van towards the grandstand, or when the first blessed wiener takes a dip in Pronto-Pup batter.

I love the fair. It is without a doubt my 100% absolute favorite place in the world. If I was a man of leisure I could go to the fair every day and be happy. One of my dreams in life is to have the time and the money to sample every booth in the same year. I mean, I don’t need 10 different caramel apples, but I would really prefer to be able to say for certain which is the best. If I ever do get to live such a dream I can assure you that Pronto Pups and cheese curds are on the menu each and every time I enter. I will be with all of you fairgoers in spirit, so enjoy the fresh cut fries for me and don’t forget to take a bag of cotton candy home after you walk up what will always, in my heart, be machinery hill.

We went to Target last night, cuz Katie loves Target and especially loves going shopping at ridiculous times. When we hit the pharmacy to purchase some Tylenol Sinus, which, if you were curious, completes the analogy “Crackheads:crack::Katie: ???”, we were greeted not by the friendly green box, but a card hanging above the shelf. It told us that because Tylenol Sinus, and by the looks of it 50ish other everyday OTCs including NyQuil, DayQuil, some Tussins, and other, contained psuedo-ephedrine, since it can conceivable be used to make meth, is behind the pharmacy counter and can only be purchased during hours when the pharmacy is open. Apparently this is a New York State Law, which just goes to show that even in this part of the country, almost everyone is stupider than a self-buttfucking llama. I don’t think many people make meth out of Tylenol but even if they do, you gotta choose, either make it a controlled substance or let me buy it. I also don’t know how making it accessible only via the pharmacy prevents me from using it for meth anyway, like your desire to get meth overcomes the dangerous chemistry involved but not the inconvenience of talking to the pharmacist or going to multiple locations. I wouldn’t have cared if I needed to get a manager to unlock the door and grab me something which is about as dangerous to the general public as Diet Pepsi with Lime, but to say that after 6 or whatever I have to overpay at Walgreens so winners who failed high school chemistry don’t blow up the basement full of High Life empties and overflowing ashtrays of Basic Menthol 100s is ricockulous.

Hippo thinks that was slight overkill. She may have a point, but I may also be blinded by her kittenosity. So cute.



Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Everytime I See Your Picture I Cry and I Try To Get Over Butt

I feel like Strongbad. I mean, it didn't go down quite that way. Anyway, my computer broke. To fix it would have required a new motherboard in the area of 500 dollars, something a three year old laptop is by no means worth. I knew I was gonna by a new one next spring/summer anyway, this just solidified that fact. Thankfully I should have a University of Rochester laptop to use for the course of this academic year. In the meantime I'm still dealing with sharing Katie's computer and would like to thank her again for her generosity in that respect. My laptop has now been converted into an external hard drive which, alongside the assistance of a powered 4-port USB hub, allows me to access the old computadora through any of its brethren. To some extent, I have made the old Toshiba even more powerful, since it is now no longer tied to its physical body, but can inhabit any form it chooses.

We looked at some of the new laptops that were available while they extracted and installed the laptop's drive into an attractive little white casing. Toshiba has some ass kicking models that I really like, one that was about $1500 that had a 17" screen, 100 gig hard drive, 1024 megs of ram and lots of good stuff. I really like the gigantic widescreen laptop things. It seems like a couple years ago the trend was towards smaller smaller smaller machines, and that has been reversed, by my survey. There were still a couple things that would have looked at home with Will Ferell's hip character who rode the scooter in the hip store sketch on SNL, but alot more with full size keyboards and monitors. There was even this gorgeous black shiny model that had a built in DVR and tv tuner, so that I could record everything onto my hardrive and watch wherever it was available.

Anyway, I am really pissed at BB6 after a really really enjoyable week last time around. Kaysar came back , cuz 82% of America agrees with me on the fact that he was the nuts this year. Anyway, Jennifer, the jerkasscock that she is, is going to result in his immediate dispersal. I mean, it was his fault for giving up the HoH competition that he had her pwnd on, but it still pisses me off. She deserves to get shot through the neck with a metaphorical crossbow. I think the fact that he got voted in by America should result in him being safe for at least a couple weeks. I recognize that I am partisan on this question, but I hate Ivette, Maggie, and Jennifer more than just about any characters in the history of reality TV. Beau and April aren't my fave either, but they don't get on the radar with those three and their assorted crappityness combined with their love for Cappy. If Eric had stayed on the show long enough to be anything but a short bald loudy-mc-louden-pants who occasionally happened to be on the right side of political arguments (in what I have entitled the WTF Episode of Season 6) just enough to make me not put a price on his head, he would be in the same league. Anyway, the remainder of the summer's reality programming seems somewhat doomed. I'm not gonna abandon Julie Chen or anything, but it would have been more fun if King Kaysar was around to play.

Hippo has really really sharp claws that haven't been trimmed in far too long. They are in desperate need of trimming, so we are gonna take a run at them. Maybe she'll get catnip as a reward.



Sunday, August 14, 2005

She Hates California, Its Cold and Its Damp, Thats Why the Lady is a Butt

I wrote this Tuesday in Burlington, but then my computer broke. Admittedly it is old and it was probably my fault that it broke. Anyway, I got all the documents and shitty off it already, hopefully the computer fixer people will allow me to continue using it. I'm sure the comments will be limited until I have computer access that doesn't depend on the generosity of the Katie.

Made the drive up to Burlington with pretty good time. I hit McD's drive-thrizzle and tried the new Chicken Ranch BLT sandwich, which I think edges out the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch in terms of a fast-food chicken sandwich, but is still getting butt-pounded in respect to the song. I think this year's NCAA tournament has permanently installed that song in my head. Psuedo-Hootie, you rock so hard. Streams of bacon-ranch dressing really do flow right up to your knees. I hope, that at some point, you get to veg all day, all your lotto tickets pay, and that there is a King who wants you to have it your way. I also stopped at this little roadside stand somewhere about 5 miles into Vermont for a soft-serve ice cream cone. I had prolly gone several years without soft serve ice cream, but something about the small town ice cream stand really does it for me. This place was literally next door to a dairy farm, which, while providing a smell which is not the world's greatest flavor enhancement, may have provided the milk and cream involved in the ice cream. It was very tasty indeed. I was driving, so I just rolled with a cone, but the sundaes I saw the people in front of me get involved more whipped cream than could be produced by a whole bowl full of whippits.

Got into Vermont at about 6, right when Katie had finished her final evidence assignment of the summer. We hung out for a bit before heading to downtown Burlington. Katie bought some stuff at the J. Crew, all of which I believe was green, but I did not call her Kermit. Afterwards we had dinner, well, I had dinner, Katie had a molten flourless chocolate torte thing. It counts, nonetheless as having dinner. I had a good quality steak sandwich and we ate outside on what is the Burlington equivalent of Madison's State Street. Its smaller and less college dominated, but the same idea. Lots of restaurants with outdoor seating and lots of puppy dogs walking around. People even sit at the outdoor tables with their dogs hanging out next to them. We saw what I was pretty sure was a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog (roughly the same coloring as a Bernese, but smaller, with a longer snout and face) and a dalmation-spotted Great Dane. It wasn't a huge Great Dane, but certainly taller than our table. Very pretty.

Katie is correct that I simultaneously go back and forth between saying that I could live in Vermont and that I couldn't fucking stand it here. I really like the vibe of mountains and water and some of the small townish stuff that is around. I cannot stand being unable to find the shit I need or the places I want to go . I mean, I don't know the area well, I'm sure there is a restaurant somewhere that serves breakfast 24 hours. If I lived here, I would prolly know that. The problem is that I can't find a damn Denny's when I just need some cheap pancakes at noon. Also, I hate hippies. Thats a problem, since there are dirty stupid hippies all over the place. I have no problem with parts of hippy thought, mind you, or even certain hippy practices. Its just that directing frustration at big corporations that do things well rather than capitalism in general seems pretty stupid to me. I mean, not Wal-Mart, there it makes sense. I could even understand some frustration towards Starbucks or Barnes and Noble, but just against the corporate mentality in general, seems to me offense against capitalism, rather than against having a Denny's within reasonable proximity of me. Still, the lake is beautiful and mountains nearby counts for alot. As much as pancakes...not sure.

The first debates of the year are always awful, I know this and yet I still try to be optimistic. I am in the second debate now and I can honestly say that both instances give some examples of hope for everyone who was speaking. To be honest I know tremendously little about this topic. Any knowledge I have is pretty much just carry over from the China topic when I was in high school or general foreign policy understanding and the like. I will have to do some reading at some point, but I have a hard time dividing up my time. By that I mean, I'm not good at working on multiple things at the same time. I like to do one thing, finish it, and move on. I will get everything taken care of and go into the season with at least a bare minimum understanding of the topic, but let me re-emphasize, I am not good at it. I suppose its as good a time as ever to learn some serious multi-taskability.

I am excited at the prospect of going to get some dinner after this debate. I do not know where we will be going, but again, I am excited. We had lunch today at the Vermont Soup Company and I can say that they served what is definatively the best corn chowder I have ever had. I'm quite a corn chowder lover, I should note, I make a fair bit of it. Whenever my dad was out of town when we were little, my mom would make "corn soup" cuz we all loved it but, jobviously, he did not. Anyway, this one was advertised as featuring real cream and brown sugar. You could really taste them both. Not only was it all creamy smooth and delicious, but had a sweetness you don't usually expect in chowder, at least I don't. I was seriously blown away. On Fridays they serve a Lobster chowder and I cannot imagine how pants-jizzingly delicious this chowder base would be with a little lobster stock and some chunks of lobster. There's no Vermont tournament this year, so the chances of that happening are slim to none. Irregardless, thats a recipe I need to work on.

Hippo was txting me earlier about the big party she had last night. They apparently went through three whole smoked salmon and like a couple cases of heavy cream. I told her to take it easy, but she said that since she plans on spending all her time over the next week or so purring while laying with Katie, she wanted to celebrate her Purr-th-day with her friends in advance. Have fun and stay safe little kitties.



Sunday, August 07, 2005

Don't Wanna Close My Eyes Dont Wanna Fall Asleep Cuz I Miss You Baby and I Don't Want to Miss a Butt

Making what I sincerely hope is my last trip to Burlington, VT tomorrow. I feel like a short haul trucker or something with the amount of time I have spent on the crazy ass routes off 87. Regardless, I'm heading up there, judging at the WDI tournament, then Katie and I will be making a real quick exit on Thursday morning. Not only does it cost me at least a couple days worth of work being accomplished, but assures that by Friday I will be ready for somem relaxation.

I've gone on a little movie binge over the past week or so. I was running low on TV for a while, so I started tivoing flicks fairly liberally. This is no longer the case of course, since I am saving for Katie every Big Brother since she's been gone (I think its about 18 hours), a couple episodes of Kill Reality, Kathy Griffin's show on Bravo, and the finale of Beauty and the Geek. The last one was on a long time ago, but she didnt have time before her excursion into the wacky worlds of debate and such. Our tivo percentage will go back to a reasonable amount once Katie catches up with BB6, not to mention that I will be able to again publically complain about the developments of the first part of the season. I am so hoping what I want to happen occurs this week. Thats vague, I get it, but I'm tryin to save back on the spoilers for Katie.

So over the last couple of days I've watched bunches of movies that are clogging the box. Paycheck, which normally would be on my shit-list because it stars the worst actor in the country, if not the history of time, had to be seen if for no other reason than the PKD story it was based on is really quality. The movie had really only a passing relation to that story of course, it was actually even less similar to its respective than Minority Report or Blade Runner. The clever thing that sets up the story is really the only thing. Beyond that, well, its a sub-par action flick with hideous acting overall. I am watching Coffee and Cigarettes now, which is enjoyable if not a little pretentious. The Steven Wright/Roberto Begnini bit, which was apparently originally a standalone short film, was cool. Iggy Pop and Tom Waits are fun to watch, but seriously atrocious actors. In all honesty though, Meg White makes them look like fucking Brando. Still the White Stripes segment is funny. Biggest problem, I havent been craving a cigarette like this in a long long long long long time. Damn you Jarmusch!

There was another series of short films I watched, some of which were pretty decent. Its apparently something that IFC does every couple weeks or so. Finally, I saw a fairly recent French movie called Jeux D'Enfants which for one reason or another is changed in English to "Love Me if You Dare." Its a fine title for the movie, but I'm not sure whats wrong with "Children's Games/Kid's Games" or whatever, mebbe its just taken. Anyway, it was pretty sweet. Its the kind of love story that I can really get into, though I recognize there are those who wouldn't consider it much of a love story at all. The woman who plays Sophie has a really incredibly beautiful way about her, which makes the significant amount of time that passes during the film even more fun to watch. There are a couple remarkably gorgeous shots that I won't give away, but I recommend it. Might even be on Sundance again this week if you care. There's one quote I had to rewind and scribble down, it may make an epigraph to the dissertation, certainly make a paper at some point.

I'm pissy at my bank today, since the ATMs were down and as a result I could not get cash out of them, and as a result, I could not go to the garlic festival at St. Anthony's today. I don't know if the food would have been great or not, my guess is towards yeah, regardless, I was excited about it and pissy that it didn't happen. I mean, I could have gone and paid in the area of 2.50 to have the cash, but I figured I'd survive. Besides that today has not been an inredibly significant day, poked around at the old worky-work, played GTA, watched TV. I also talked to my dad, seeing if there is a Packer's game we can make it out to next winter.

Hippo appears to want someone to swing around her pink-fuzzy-toy for her attacking pleasure. I figure she will be lonely for 70ish hours, so I am, as always, happy to oblige. Hope to report from Burlington.



Saturday, August 06, 2005

The Child is Grown, The Dream is Gone, I Have Become, Comfortably Butt

Its not the playoffs, not the regular season, its not even the preseason. Nonetheless, Lambeau Field was sold out earlier tonight when the Packers gathered with the Buffalo Bills for the first scrimmage of the 2005 NFL season. Thank God I have the NFL network so I can get at least a preliminary look at my boys. I mean, it doesn't mean anything, but its close enough to football for the first week of August. There are alot of questions going into this season for the good guys, two new guards, a defense which struggled mightily against the run and despite relative success on passing downs, has prolly its biggest problems in the defenseive backfield that isn't Al Harris. First defensive series, we looked alright actually. Ahmad Carroll broke up a good pass, Roman made a tackle in the flat, and Cole, the tackle who played a couple games during our injury filled December, looked pretty good. I've read quite a bit about the new defensive scheme thats coming with Jim Bates, but its not exactly unbiased testimony. There have been pretty much no additions to the D-line, so I have my doubts that we will be able to engineer a pass rush besides what KGB can do.

The offense is a bit skewed for this scrimmage, since Klemm (the new left guard) is not playing and Favre is missing Franks. Steele's not a bad or small target, but still, its never the same as throwing to Bubba. I don't really care what Favre does in this situation, I know how the dude plays and this is not gonna be relevant to the season. He completed a couple passes and threw a couple which weren't really on target. The Bills have a pretty solid defense, so at least the fact that he was under pressure several times is explainable. Aaron Rodgers came out to run a couple series and I was fairly pleased. Completed a quick one to Chatman. He threw another that Chatman dropped and one that wasn't good at all. It was nice to suggest that there is a reason to live in the post-Favre era, God forbid it ever comes. Brett returned to throw a couple touchdowns; nothing like the first "Bang on the Drum All Day" of the year. Anyway, it was fun to watch. Thank you NFL network.

No one has had anything to say on the subject of Conneticut's state song. So I'm gonna give it some thought and decide by the end of the weekend. Other states which can consider themselves excused: Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois. Illinois gets special props, btw, for naming their state song "Illinois" and thats what I'm looking for. We'll see what happens to the rest of you state-like homeys.

Have you ever sat down and given some consideration to the word "tastycake?" Try it sometime. Tastycake. Yumm.

I really miss the various types of fast-food that are obtainable in areas beyond Buffalo. I mean, techincally you've got your Tim Hortons and your Mighty Taco that don't exist many other places, but damn would I kill for Chipotle, or LeAnn Chin, or freaking White Castle. The lack of White Castle in this area is so ricockulous that I can't even begin to articulate it. If I wanted to make some money and live in Buffalo even a moment longer than I had to, I would make a freaking crave case available near the University. Make it a nice suburban one, an increasingly rare commodity. I would say keep it clean, but I'm somewhat worried that cleanliness and true slider taste are mutually exclusive.

Hippo and I are tired. She is meowing at me to go to sleep so she can scamper around in the dark and I will oblige.



Wednesday, August 03, 2005

You Can't Run, You Can't Hide, You and Me Gonna Touch the Sky, A Little Bit of Monica in My Butt

Katie and I moved to add Showtime to our cable lineup, largely in anticipation of Mary Louise Parker's show, which I believe starts with a preview this upcoming Sunday. Anyway, you should check out the show too, cuz not only is Weeds getting great reviews, but Mary Louise Parker is hot and Kevin Nealon deserves to get something entertaining if, for nothing else, the brilliance of his work on Weekend Update. Anyway, we juiced up to Showtime and I am watching one of the many episodes of Penn and Teller's Bullshit that I have managed to TiVo. I think I've mentioned before how long I've been a fan of Penn and Teller. I don't know why, I certainly started enjoying them simply as magicians, prolly when I was going through some phase where I wanted to be a magician myself. Regardless, I eventually bought their book How To Play With Your Food and I bet I've read that bastard 100 times. In fact, considering the amount of times a line from that book runs through my head, there's a pretty good chance it has had more influence on me then any book I've ever read.

Thats really a side note to the fact that I really dig this program. In alot of instances we seem to be on the exact same page and though there are opinion based questions where we seem to differ, the possibility of precisely that difference seems always to be used to the best possible extent. There's a bit in the food book about the "water into wine" trick that P+T have transformed for the purpose of doing it at McDonald's. One of the things they said in that bit was roughly (paraphrase): We're not gonna teach you the water to wine trick. If it was up to us, you wouldn't drink alcohol. Of course, it isn't up to us and it shouldn't be up to us." The episode I'm watching now is about profanity, somethin I've pretty much always had strong feelings about.

I started swearing profusely sometime during high school, before my senior year, certainly, since I always received comments at that point about the lists of obscenities that lined my accoridans and any files I put out. I could attempt theories of some sort as to why that is, but they would most likely be crap anyway. The point is simply that I like talking that way, I don't have to, I don't think it has to do with shocking anyone, since, with the exception of when I screw up around some ancient family member, no one I know responds with anything resembling shock. If you read back a ways on this journal, you can find some instances where I was more profuse and I'm certain you cant go more than a couple days without something. I reluctantly accept that there are people who don't like it, people who would think negatively of me as a result, so I've backed off considerably from my electronic vocabulary of old. Just thought I should make it known that I remain incredibly uncomfortable with my not swearing. If I get rich and don't need to worry about who reads what I say, rest assured that I will return to the good old days.

I've already excused everybody up to California (follow along here if you like) and we come to the first potential challenge in Colorado. Its clear to me that this song concerns a Western State, it has to do with mountains, buffalo, etc. I was very tempted, upon my first reading, to throw out Colorado's anthem, but I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt because it has the word Columbine in the title. No one has any association of the word Columbine with a tree anyway, so while I don't know if that particular plant is unique to the Wado, I'm just gonna let it slide. Columbine is Colorado, you have enough crappy associations with that name, I don't need to help out.

But Conneticut, oh Conneticut. You just couldn't let it go, could you, you had to go and act just like Kansas, choose a classic old time song that is definitively not about your state. There's not even an argument, the song mentions nothing about any locality. It simply describes a dude, Yankee Doodle, to be specific. I'm not gonna go through and critique the fact that its stupid as hell to bother choosing a state song if it doesnt have either any redeeming social value or some romantic connotations about the place it represents. What I will mention is located in small print at the bottom of Conneticut's page. This was selected as the state song in 1978!! First of all, the state of Conneticut had been around in the area of 200 years before they fucking got around to choosing a state song. I guess you were busy creating all those exciting tourist destinations or maybe you were too wrapped up in your abundant professional sports franchises, it took you a couple centennials to take a vote. Second, if you take 200 years to choose something and you come up with Yankee Fuck Doodle, just retire, give up the choosing of specific state things altogether. Thats like standing at the Baskin Robins counter and holding up the line for a week before ordering a single scoop of vanilla in a cup.

I don't think enough people read this for me to take any poll regarding what song should be substituted in, but I will narrow it down to a couple and decide from there, taking any offered consultation into account. My suggestions:

Liz Phair's HWC


Necro's All the Hotties

If you haven't seen the lyrics to the second, they are literally too good to believe. Anyway, I think Hippo and I are gonna run to the Applebees that opened in my living room. She's in the mood for cajun catfish, at least something good has come from Baxterization.