Katie and I moved to add Showtime to our cable lineup, largely in anticipation of Mary Louise Parker's show, which I believe starts with a preview this upcoming Sunday. Anyway, you should check out the show too, cuz not only is Weeds getting great reviews, but Mary Louise Parker is hot and Kevin Nealon deserves to get something entertaining if, for nothing else, the brilliance of his work on Weekend Update. Anyway, we juiced up to Showtime and I am watching one of the many episodes of Penn and Teller's Bullshit that I have managed to TiVo. I think I've mentioned before how long I've been a fan of Penn and Teller. I don't know why, I certainly started enjoying them simply as magicians, prolly when I was going through some phase where I wanted to be a magician myself. Regardless, I eventually bought their book How To Play With Your Food and I bet I've read that bastard 100 times. In fact, considering the amount of times a line from that book runs through my head, there's a pretty good chance it has had more influence on me then any book I've ever read.
Thats really a side note to the fact that I really dig this program. In alot of instances we seem to be on the exact same page and though there are opinion based questions where we seem to differ, the possibility of precisely that difference seems always to be used to the best possible extent. There's a bit in the food book about the "water into wine" trick that P+T have transformed for the purpose of doing it at McDonald's. One of the things they said in that bit was roughly (paraphrase): We're not gonna teach you the water to wine trick. If it was up to us, you wouldn't drink alcohol. Of course, it isn't up to us and it shouldn't be up to us." The episode I'm watching now is about profanity, somethin I've pretty much always had strong feelings about.
I started swearing profusely sometime during high school, before my senior year, certainly, since I always received comments at that point about the lists of obscenities that lined my accoridans and any files I put out. I could attempt theories of some sort as to why that is, but they would most likely be crap anyway. The point is simply that I like talking that way, I don't have to, I don't think it has to do with shocking anyone, since, with the exception of when I screw up around some ancient family member, no one I know responds with anything resembling shock. If you read back a ways on this journal, you can find some instances where I was more profuse and I'm certain you cant go more than a couple days without something. I reluctantly accept that there are people who don't like it, people who would think negatively of me as a result, so I've backed off considerably from my electronic vocabulary of old. Just thought I should make it known that I remain incredibly uncomfortable with my not swearing. If I get rich and don't need to worry about who reads what I say, rest assured that I will return to the good old days.
I've already excused everybody up to California (follow along here if you like) and we come to the first potential challenge in Colorado. Its clear to me that this song concerns a Western State, it has to do with mountains, buffalo, etc. I was very tempted, upon my first reading, to throw out Colorado's anthem, but I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt because it has the word Columbine in the title. No one has any association of the word Columbine with a tree anyway, so while I don't know if that particular plant is unique to the Wado, I'm just gonna let it slide. Columbine is Colorado, you have enough crappy associations with that name, I don't need to help out.
But Conneticut, oh Conneticut. You just couldn't let it go, could you, you had to go and act just like Kansas, choose a classic old time song that is definitively not about your state. There's not even an argument, the song mentions nothing about any locality. It simply describes a dude, Yankee Doodle, to be specific. I'm not gonna go through and critique the fact that its stupid as hell to bother choosing a state song if it doesnt have either any redeeming social value or some romantic connotations about the place it represents. What I will mention is located in small print at the bottom of Conneticut's page. This was selected as the state song in 1978!! First of all, the state of Conneticut had been around in the area of 200 years before they fucking got around to choosing a state song. I guess you were busy creating all those exciting tourist destinations or maybe you were too wrapped up in your abundant professional sports franchises, it took you a couple centennials to take a vote. Second, if you take 200 years to choose something and you come up with Yankee Fuck Doodle, just retire, give up the choosing of specific state things altogether. Thats like standing at the Baskin Robins counter and holding up the line for a week before ordering a single scoop of vanilla in a cup.
I don't think enough people read this for me to take any poll regarding what song should be substituted in, but I will narrow it down to a couple and decide from there, taking any offered consultation into account. My suggestions:
Liz Phair's HWC
or
Necro's All the Hotties
If you haven't seen the lyrics to the second, they are literally too good to believe. Anyway, I think Hippo and I are gonna run to the Applebees that opened in my living room. She's in the mood for cajun catfish, at least something good has come from Baxterization.
Peace,
MB-K
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