So I Bonered This Shit

We got home from fucking Minneapolis, then we started school, then we fucking went to a debate tournament in Columbus fucking Ohio, then we got home and my computer didn't work, so I took it to CompUSA and just got it fixed and shit back today. Fundamentally that is the confluence of events which resulted in my not updating my journal thingamabober until this point. Look, I recognize that this is my bad and I will pick it up. If you don't get off my back I will grab you by the tongue and spin you like a cat who had an orgy with a rhinocerous and then woke up without his or her dentures.

To continue with the whole Minneapolis situation let me give a couple brief numbers:

Poker Winnings-$47.50

I only lost on two nights, the night we played a no limit hold-em tourney at my place and I way overplayed a hand against Andy, who for some reason had a fairly strong chiplead on me, and one night where I had 6 long islands and a shot of Crown at the Billabong. We played at Willking's and I thought I was playing fairly tight, but you can never really tell when you are that fucking intoxicated. I was actually too drunk to play Crazy Taxi and I think that should be a clue that you have simply had too much to drink. Besides that I was generally rocking pretty hard. I nailed a Queen high spade straight flush one of the last nights we played and it was a threeway pot all the way down. Thor kepNumt reraising me with the Ace of spades and I can't say I really blamed him, but the flop was 8-9-10 spades and the turn was the jack. Anyway, I already had the straight on the flop, since I had Q of spades and J of clubs in the hole, but regardless. Poker went well. While some of the ladyfolk got pretty sick of our playing poker every fucking night, it was a good break from the sitting in Buffalo wishing I was playing poker.

Number of Moms at Christmas-3

Technically I only had one mom there, since I have only one. Nonetheless, our christmas celebration included Katie and I, my bro, my sis, Karly (Katie's sis), my rents, and both their girlfriends, Deb and Paula. I had never met Paula before, but I hung out with her and argued with my dad about DC's representational status in the Congress. Paula is from D.C. and apparently she and my dad have often discussed this question, since he thinks it ridiculous. While I by no means give any sort of a fuck about the situation of the people in DC, I do think they should be given representation in the legislature. Not to mention that I wouldn't be bothered by the fact that they would pretty much tip the senate to the dems if they got senators. Anyway, I started drinking my caucasians early enough on that morning to erase any semblance of uneasiness and toking briefly in the garage certainly didn't hurt anything. Regardless, everyone besides me seemed to think it was uncomfortable. It certainly was a little weird, but you deal with that shit. I personally know of few better ways to deal with awkwardness than political arguments, alcohol, and drugs.

Wedding Things accomplished - 855 billion

In all honesty we didn't even really get going headlong on the wedding arrangement shiznit until about the week after Christmas but when we decided to roll we did so like ass ramming Uncle Fuckers. We were like florist-chure, cake-chure, dress-chure, tux-chure. Everything we saw we just rolled. I can understand perfectly how someone could spend like a year planning a wedding, but I can also see how you could just put your fucking nose to the proverbial assdick and pound that shit out in a week. On the subject of wedding planning let me briefly comment that tasting wedding cakes is the biggest scam on the planet. Basically, if you like cake and want some really awesome free cake, here is what you should do. Call up Wuollet's bakery and make an appointment to go in for a cake tasting. We did this early one morning. It doesn't matter when you do it though. Go in and tell them why you are there. They will give you some coffee and tell you to go sit down. Then the manager lady (we actually dealt with Sarah Wuollet, daughter of the original Wuollet) will come and tell you about the cakes while you drink your coffee. Then she will tell you to write down all the different cakes you want to try. By that I mean you write down which combinations of which frostings and cakes and icings you want and then they go in the back and whip them up. It fucking rocked. So she brings us this little plate with like 8 different pieces of cake on it. We eat them. She gives us a sheet with the prices on it, and we leave. That is the end of the fucking story, no other work involved. This shit was free. Ass-free. Its like having dessert at a restaurant, except that it is free. We pulled a similar, but not quite as awesome, deal at two other bakeries that day. While I highly recommend Wuollets for this process, anyone who makes wedding cakes will do the trick. I think we will end up ordering our nuptual pastry from the homies on Grand anyway, so they did the right thing.

Good times enjoyed by all- Too many to count.

Overall I give our winter vacation an "A" for "awesome." While I don't feel like recounting any other specific stories at this time, I am sure that I will remember some incident when Andy was drunk which desperately needs my attention.

I do, however, have some awesome news which I cannot wait to share, but I really need more typing energy to do it, so it will likely wait until manana. Maybe later tonight, but I really have to get juiced up to accurately represent to you the cool thing that recently happened to me.

Always leave 'em wanting more, thats what PT Barnum said to me. Mike, he said, always leave them wanting more. More, alwaysl, wanting, leave 'em. 'Em, wanting leave more. Leave more 'em wanting. Want'emmoreleaving.

Peace,

MB-K