But Don't Hesitate, Cuz Your Love, Just Won't Wait, Ooh Baby I Love Your Butt

Before I attempt to crank out the last of the Minnesota trip, only 3 some weeks after the actual return from said state, I have a brief pronouncement. As I was driving Katie to Vermont a couple weeks ago I discovered that Kansas' state song is "Home on the Range." Jobviously, I called bullshit, cuz you very clearly can't have "Home on the Range" as your state song any more than you could just say that "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" is your national anthem. My criteria are not yet objectively set out, but the basic idea is this: your state song has to have something to do with your state. Can't just go all willy fucking nilly on the bit. Yes, Kansas is on the range, so are Texas, Oklahoma, and Nebraska. I appointed Katie the official representative of the state of Kansas and since she was unwilling to budge on the legitimacy of the ballad, I offered her two alternatives to choose as the new state song. Since she again refused, I have officially designated as the new state song of Kansas 2 Live Crew's epic "Face Down, Ass Up."

I'll be adopting a thorough review process and potentially replacing the state songs of the other 49ish states as necessary in due time. Let me tell you this off the bat: I'm coming for you Conneticut.

Last notable event, I believe, from the Minnesota trip was the trip to Nebraska. Katie finished her institute before noon, so we picked up her dad, gave Hippo instructions for the weekend and journeyed down 35. The drive was pretty uneventful and we actually made good time, thanks be to the people of Iowa, who finally had the good sense to raise their speed limit to a civilized 70. We got into Carole's mom's house, had a nice dinner, hung out, etc. Later that evening, Katie,Karly, Kari, myself, and Cousin Jessica (I totally like the practice of referring to relatives by "Relation-First Name" in the singular without articles, if nothing else, I can sound like a Dukes of Hazard episode) headed to "Downtown Lincoln." Downtown Lincoln is a bit like naming your pet goat "Awesome:" we get the reasoning behind it, but we're not quite sure the name makes any sense.

There was a strip of bars somewhat like you would find in any college town and while most of them looked like the fratish places I usually intend to avoid like the plague, we were amongst a crowd that seemed to prefer even the University environment rather than suburban bar-grills. We hit a place that I am forced to believe is by far the hippest place in prolly the whole of Nebraska. It wouldn't have been out of place in a decent city, though it was empty on Saturday night here. There was a decent micro-beer selection, well stocked bar, and most importanly, I think our tab for 3-4 beers, 5 shots, and 2-3 drinks was like 35 bucks. For some reason we matriculated to a place down the street, which was pretty much the picture of bars I don't enter. While the drinks were even cheaper than the previous joint (a pitcher of something that appeared to essentially be a screwdriver was 8 freaking dollars) there was a series of frat boy behaviors which impinged on our good time and ultimately resulted in our venturing to another establishment. This one was a fairly classic dive, which I didn't expect around either. The occupants were still huskers thru and thru, I think there was at least a couple instances of ass-grabbage when Katie, Kari, and Jessica headed to the dance area. Drinks remained cheap and plentiful and to establish what kind of an evening it was becoming, I had switched from beer, to bourbon on the rocks. There was one more bar, which finally had freaking Maker's Mark, but otherwise had no distinguishing characteristics. We went home late, fun was had by all.

The next morning featured a high quality breakfast which was conveniently also classic hangover food, sausage, bacon, eggs, biscuits, and gravy. There were more family members, some repeats, and for a while there was a female exodus to the Dillard's 4th of July sale. Tom and I watched the Cubs game with Carole's parents before the ladies came home and the party traveled from some section of Lincoln to a different section of Lincoln and another set of g-rents. We didn't need to make late night bar binges here, cuz unlike the first stop, there were beverages a plenty. There was good food, good drinks, fireworks, and general comradery. Their house is the nuts, with a huge well decorated backyard, a pool table, bars upstairs and down, prolly about 20 total televisions (including a set-up of four in the living room to feature any and all available sporting extravaganzas), and a good deal of Nebraska themed merchandise. We took a couple pictures, most during the afternoon of the 4th when the Tom designed bocce tournament (featuring prelims and seeded elims) came down to an epic battle between Katie and Kari. Here's a lone action shot to demonstrate the intensity of the finals:



Drove home the next day in fairly uneventful fashion. Pretty much just enough time to say hello to my rents one more time, gather up the Hippo-Bear and vamoose to Buffaliz. Alright, thus ends the Minnesota rants and at least a good amount of the picture fests. More importantly, the incessant narration of something that is not incredibly interesting and in the near past. Hippo seriously needs a claw trimming and I have the scars to prove it, so I think we are gonna see what we can do bout that.

Peace,

MB-K