Sunday, February 12, 2006

I Love it When You Call Me Big Poppa, You Got a Gun Up in Your Waist, Please Don't Shoot Up the Butt

A lot of people hate on the Olympics. I don’t just mean that there are people who don’t watch the Olympics, though I think that is sad too. I am talking about people who actively hate on the games. Take this douche for example. I know he’s talking about the summer games in 2000, but fundamentally the points people make are the same. In the spirit of most of the debates I’ve seen at the Binghamton tournament, I’m not gonna answer all his claims on the line by line, I’m just gonna give the reasons I fucking love the Olympics.

--the storylines: the most legitimate criticism that I think exists about the Olympics is technically about Olympics television coverage, but I will, for today at least, concede this connection. Specifically, I mean that NBC does often spend too much time focusing on the excessively melodramatic stories, not even just the cool ones. That said, while a bunch of this shit is trite and overplayed (not quite to the level of Connelly’s bits on Sportscenter, but its close) there are some legitimately incredible stories. You can view this in several ways: 1) it applies to all sports today, if you don’t like sports on TV, then sure, I guess this is not convincing 2) stories in sports are fun, they get me emotionally invested in something that I might never experience without it 3) think about it like a regular narrative show if you want, its like a reality curling show.

--the creative games: I’m not pretending that I like the giant slalom as much as I dig the NFL. More than anything else, I’m a fan of the four major team sports in this country. That said, its fun to see some games that I don’t really understand and would never get exposure to under other circumstances. Gaining that pseudo-expertise I have by the second week about short track speed skating really makes my day in ways I cannot explain to you. Not to mention this: curling rules. There is nothing more fun than getting hella intoxicated and discussing Norway’s best bowler.

--the lack of money: we all know that Bode is getting paid and Sean White is not lacking in endorsements either, but 99% of the people at the Olympics, even 99% of the American athletes, aren’t making shit off their sports. The two-person luge team rarely gets calls from Nike or Pepsi. I don’t think that money contaminates sports, but its fun seeing people play them for reasons besides money. I could turn this into a discussion about how it’s a strategy of capitalism to create zones wherein true affectivity and emotion emerge outside of economics, but that indicates that I have spent way too much time explaining Zizek link stories. Maybe its just that I really like the idea that there are people who really love something to the extent that they would put in that much work with no risk of economic gain and most likely, paying a significant amount of money just to do that work. I can’t really imagine it, but I like it.

--the love of the game: to some extent you could say this overlaps with the money question, and I guess it does, but there is more too. I was watching the Opening Ceremonies and they mentioned that 90%+ of these athletes have no chance at a medal. There are obviously some surprises and such, but for virtually everyone just getting to the Olympics is the ultimate prize. Watching nations with one athlete march into the stadium, knowing they have no chance to win, and still enjoying themselves to this extent is incredible to watch.

--peace: I saw an affirmative a couple years back about the Athens Summer games that had some incredible cards about how all the nations at the games agree not to fight with each other militarily for those two weeks. I mean, it doesn’t solve much in terms of actuality, but the critical potential was excellent. Outside of freaking debate, however, I like the constant invocations of peaceful competition. Even if you don’t want to see Yoko Ono introduce Peter Gabriel singing “Imagine,” the acrobats forming a dove is pretty freaking cool.

I’m not gonna force this to go to 10 items for the sake of list-coherence. I will have specific commentary later on during the games, especially when I actually get to watch more than the first period of a women’s hockey game or the ski jumping preliminaries. Hippo, on the other hand, got to enjoy the 5000 meter speedskate gold medal and even the biathalon. She wanted to note that, even to the world’s smartest Persian cat, skiing and shooting doesn’t make that much sense. Unless, potentially, you are hunting elk, though she recommends just chasing them down and ripping them to the ground with your vicious claws.

Peace,

MB-K

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