Backup Plans

So I go back and forth between believing I can and cannot ever get a job in the field of higher education. I see the tremendous amount of schools in this country, not all of them very good obviously, and realize that in a world where I am willing to teach anything from literature to theory to film to comp etc. there is probably a decent chance that I will get a gig somewhere, even if it sucks. Two dudes were talking about Heidegger at this lecture today, one working at Binghamton in the English Department, the other in the Eng Department at Kansas. While the dude from Binghamton was really on his nut, this other guy was nothing special, it gave me some hope. The dude who edited Umbra last year just got a job too, not teaching anything he is interested in (African American Lit, and frankly, neither he nor anyone else seems to be able to figure out how a guy who studied postmodern american lit, psychoanalysis, and Marxism landed this gig) so those both give me optimism. At the same time, I get all these suggestions on the people I have to start sucking up to now if I ever want to be able to even apply for a job.

So I have been thinking a little more lately about my backup plans. Obviously, the easiest is to simply teach at some high school. I would hope that even without a PhD I could eventually land a deal somewhere there. I suppose I could coach debate somewhere if that would help. I don't really have any desire to teach in high school or coach debate, but it would be better than Wal-Mart, so at least there would be something.

I considered going to law school as well. This would only be possible in a world where I had some money, obviously, but I don't really have any desire to do that either. I would like to go to law school in order to be Josh Lyman, but since I doubt that I would ever be able to land myself as Deputy White House Chief of Staff, I have no ambition to work at a boring law firm or anything, so I plan on avoiding law as well.

The thing I think I would actually like to do, probably more than I would like to be a professor too, is to become a sommalier. I don't even really know where to train for that job, my guess is that there are culinary academies and such that offer these courses, probably some really good ones in NY, LA, those areas. Better ones in France and Italy obviously, but since I don't think I could really develop any quality language skills fast enough, those are pretty much out of the picture.

How fucking sweet of a job would that be. I would have to taste, talk about, recommend, pair, and sell wines. I could work at a nice restaurant for a while, maybe several of them. I could either do consulting or go in house. I could open up my own wine-shop. I could eventually even open up my own restuarant or Loring-style bar with an uber solid wine list. I cannot imagine what I would not enjoy about that gig. Obviously, if I was successful, at some point I would move towards having my own nice place. That would probably be buttloads of work, but hopefully I would know what I was doing at that point. I tried to imagine the enormity of designing my own place, and though I could probably do it, I think working somewhere for a number of years first would make it more manageable.

So my ideal back-up, and maybe even my ideal non-back-up, is sommalier. I am going to look into training for that. Maybe I can just end up as a significatly over-educated wine steward somewhere. I could work at Manny's, that is a dream job. In the TC, working somewhere classy, at my favorite restaurant of all time.

Peace,

MB-K