The World is a Vampire, Sent to Drain, Secret Destroyers, Hold You Up To the Butt

We had a hella nice day today, which is especially important given the ridiculously low number of Saturdays we will have available to do nice things. A majority of the time our Saturdays are spent on college campuses, in random classrooms, listening to college kids blabber about shit that most of them don't understand. That sentence was not intended to undercut the value of debate, only to indicate that for me, as a judge, it cannot compare with the enjoyment factor of what Katie and I did today.

We got up comfortably late, since we didn't go to sleep last night until almost 3 in the morning. Considering I usually start harasssing Katie about how much sleep we need even before the Daily Show is on, I figure when I have no excuse I should let her stay up late. I think we got up around noon today, so we checked our email, showered, etc. before jumping in the car. We had planned, for about a week or so, to go pick some apples. I was telling Katie at some point about my fond memories of apple picking when I was younger and how much of an enjoyable fall activity it was. Katie eventually located an apple picking place which was only about 15 minutes from our apartment and had some pretty sweet shit to do. The only thing I was worried about was that it would be too little kid intensive and as a young married couple we would feel overly ridiculous.

Well, there were alot of little kids, there were alot of parents, but it wasn't ridiculous, and let me tell you, it was awesome, kitschy, absolutely, but I've oft-commented on my love of kitsch. Anyway, the first thing we saw was a little petting zoo. Nothing special but very cute, there was a big fat black pig which was really cute, and two llamas, and a couple of goats and some sheep. In a seperate pen that was right by the pumpkin barn there was another little goat which I think Katie would have brought home with her, if she didn't think it woud eat her J. Crew tanktops. Then there was a series of little barn like places, a chicken barbecue, an apple barn and little wine bar, a snack area, a cider barn, and a fudge/ice cream/bakery place. We wandered and enjoyed looking at all the pumpkins and gords and the like, then went to get a glass of cider. The cider barn was also the home of warm fresh donuts. Thats right, as you approached the cider barn you could smell the donuty goodness wafting out the door, I mean it was almost state fair quality. They weren't mini, mind you, full size cinamon sugar mofos, but incredible. We each had one along with a glass of cider, then decided to go pick some apples.

The sweet deal that is involved in apple picking does not end with the fact that it is about 80% cheaper off the tree than out of the store. We paid 8 bucks for a 1/2 bushel sized bag, which just means about a billion apples. We didn't weigh it, but I would say 25+ pounds easy. On a pretty hella good sale at Topps, we could get 10 pounds of apples for that cost. Not to mention these were the freshest tastiest apples possible. The type that go brown while you are eating them because they have literally zero preservatives. In addition you get a free hayride to and from the pickable section of the orchard, which is only about 5 minutes each way, but it was enjoyable. You also get all the apples you care to eat as you dance and twirl amongst the rows of trees. This late in the season we could choose from Red Delicious, Empire, McIntosh, Golden Delicious, and Crispin apples. The Red Delicious and McIntosh were not at all bad, but they are just your average everyday apples, nothing special about them. We filled our bag with the other three, though we ate at least one of each in the field.

If you've never done it, I can't explain to you how fucking weird it is to just walk up to a tree, pull something off of it, and eat it. I mean, I know that apples are like this and all and the same thing exists for pretty much every fruit and vegetable, but its just fucked up, reach up and grab an apple and eat it. If there were Cheese-It trees and you just walked down the white cheddar row then the BBQ jack one it would be pretty fucked up, and it doesn't seem any less fucked up if you substitute apples. Regardless, the three apples we did select were great. Golden Delicious are probably my favorite in general, though I like Fuji's and Winesaps as well. These ones were perfect examples, tart and crisp with a bright green skin that had patches of pink just peeking through. The Empire apples are the original New York fruit, and if you like true bright-fire-engine-red-hot-for-teacher-doctor-away-for-a-day apples these are the nuts. They are juicy and sweet, the type that are self juicing in a good tart or apple crisp. The Crispins are right in between, still an apple-martini green shade with a sweet-and-sour beauty that would seem to satisfy even the most discriminating taster. Yummy.

After our return hay ride we had some barbecued chicken for lunch and did our shopping. We added a gallon of cider, a regular old squash, and a butternut squash, one of which will be a component of tonight's dinner. That dinner, which will be eaten a bit late, I should admit, since we had chicken at like 3, will feature center cut pork chops, fresh squash with brown sugar and butter, and homemade applesauce, which I will fabricate in that not too distant future. I hate to end two consecutive paragraphs in the same way, but...Yummy.

I am now watching the tivoed edition of the Gophers v. Wolverines. I am a Big 10 fanboy, so I can't say I hate Michigan, but if there was a school I had to send out, there is no question that the blue and gold go bye bye (no offense Cort).Not that I am a Penn State fan either, mind you, but I digress... I cannot remember seeing the Gophers wins a game against Lloyd's crew, and since the stat I saw indicates they've lost 15 in a row, thats probably about accurate. I also fucking love this Goph's team since its about time someone saw Maroney's raw footballing talent. Ever since Coach Anderson told him he had the flexibility of a seventy-two year old woman I knew he would be a potential NFL halfback. He broke an 80 yarder in the second quarter that was top-play caliber and shot another one off-tackle right that he was one step from going all the way on, still made about a 15 yard gain. In an attempt to be fair, I should note that seven minutes into the 3rd quarter (just before the gophs go up 21-17) Michigan executed what may be the best run blitz I have ever seen. Anywho, ski-u-mah.

If I bored you with politizzle yesterday, at least be glad that I bored you with produce today. Cider, sauce, maybe pie, my place, tonight.

Peace,

MB-K