I’m So Glad I Found You, I’m Not Gonna Lose You, Whatever it Takes I Will Stay Here With Butt

So I intended to blog the day after the election but ever since I have felt that I would be obligated to speak about politics if I did so, and frankly, I am not up to it. I will say only this, I am not likely to be inspired to a democratic eleciton at any point in the near future. I am predictably disheartened and don't really understand any possibility for a realistic democratic victory in the near future. I dig on the idealistic visions of impossible politics and the like, but being forced to think about it in the sense of some actual victory has skewed my perspective like a conditional timeframe PIC to time allocation. On the bright side, when the votes were all counted, my dad officially ownzed the Rosemount city council race. If you look at the district by district breakdown you will see that he swept the town and especially cleaned up in the Shannon Parkway area that we lived for so many years. This was a little surprising, since I thought our neighbors were sort of sick of us and our shennanigans, but I guess the high school parent-demographic which is so prevalent in that area made up for it.

In another promising development, the oppressive Monopoly which Arby's has so long perpetrated on the good people of Lockport is over. That's right, Wendy's is now taking credit cards. You may have forgotten my rants about the fact that no one in this town knows vagina about dick when it comes to the fast food market, i.e. Arby's was the only place that took credit cards. Katie gets really annoyed at the repeated way I articulate why pretty much everyone who isn't selling sweet corn from a roadside stand should be taking credit cards, so I will be brief. McDonald's: you are the largest restaurant chain in the world. You are worth like a trillion gazillion dollars. Fucking suck it up and put credit card terminals in every store. KFC: credit cards should be mandatory at any place where people can be reasonably expected to spend approaching or in excess of 20 dollars. Pick up a family meal and a drink and you exceed that when you dine with the Colonel. Those are the two primary offenders. Mad props go to Wendy's, who are only about 4 or so years behind the times. Now maybe they will start having the fucking quarter-pound doublestack with cheese...

I have officially seen the greastest commercial of all time. I don't think I have mentioned it in the past, but it is truly hilarious. It is a commercial for the Scrubbing Bubbles Auto-Shower Cleaner. Basically, the little scrubbing bubble guy just sings (in the best voice imaginable for a bubble, I should add) "Touch me in the morning, then just walk away." I know I have a dirty mind, but I don't see how anyone can not find that more than slightly suggestive. What I just discovered in doing the prep work for this entry (oh yeah jeuce, there is all sorts of research that goes into producing this mammajammer) is that this commercial is quoting a song by Diana Ross. I don't feel bad about knowing this since I don't fucking listen to Diana Ross, but I also don't think it makes this commercial any less funny. I think it would in fact be pretty sweet if they had Diana sing the tune in a bubble outfit for the next set of commercials. If you don't laugh at a bubble suggesting early morning manual sexual stimulation then you, my friend, need to loosen up.

The last of the links involved in today's link fest is an answer to those of you who constanly retort to me, "Baxter(-Kauf) you cannot possibly look like Dom Deluise, never ever." To you I reply, "Go Fuck Yourselves.". Long live the moblog.

Peace,

MB-K