Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Chicka-Chicka-Slim-Shady!

That was the last one I could come up with. I don't even know that it counts since it seems to me like "chicka-chicka" is really just a badly pronounced version of "check" which, you will note has been previously used. Regardless, I will have to give up on it soon if not immediately. Just so you know, I have no plans to further mention slim shady or eminem or marshall mathers further in this thingy here. Returning to subject matter at hand devoid of first consonant sound.

Good day in at least one front today, Katie and I set a date for the old nuptuals that have been so much on everyone's mind. We nailed down the chapel at Macalester College for a June 26th wedding, so absent some disaster that is the day. We have two (well technically three, but for all practical purposes two) possible reception sites still in play and all of them are available on our date. I think the issue will probably end up being cost but they are all hotels and we are strongly in favor of either one. It is truly a no lose situaiton which kicks ass to an extreme degree. Its pretty sweet to actually move on some of this nonsense, it makes the whole situation seem much more real and shit. I think Katie is already overwhelmed, which in many ways is a very bad sign. I am sure she will catch her breath, but it is quite impressive that we went from nothing to date, to ceremony site, to almost reception site over the course of about 4 days.

I have determined that there are a bunch of jobs that I would really like more than the job I have or, more accurately, will hopefully someday have. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like teaching and I don't think it will ever be that hard and does have the slight potential to pay me enough to at least live off of. Nonetheless, if I could do it I would rather manage a sweet bar or restaurant or own a sweet bar or restaurant. I would rather be in charge of a sweet ass Las Vegas casino. I would rather be a sportscenter anchor or commentator. I would rather write for Sports Illustrated or write a TV column or steal Dara Moskowitz' job. Here is the deal though, I am not confident I could.

I have said some of this before, but think about it. If I am a techer and I fuck up and suck and I end up working at some crappy community college for the rest of my life (not to imply that these people may not be good teachers, its just not really what I am looking to do) at leat I am still just teaching. My job isn't too difficult or stressful and I know I can tolerate showing up at work everyday. Maybe not loving it, but not loathing it either. Lets say I went to UNLV for their Hotel and Restaurant Management program intending to become the head concierge at the Belagio (inspired by tonight's premiere of the new NBC series Las Vegas, which I will get to below). I think I would be one of the more intelligent people in that program, I think I would be capable of anything most people there are. Nonetheless, lets say I fuck up. I end up managing the airport Holiday Inn in Portsmouth, New Hampshire and my life blows a goat cock the size of James Gandolfini's colon for 50 years.

I get up every day and work my balls off in a job which probably requires some actual effort, don't get paid much, and am bored shitless. I don't get the fun and power of comping people and shit that I do in Vegas. I mean, I can let you take an extra USA Today on your way to catch the red-eye to Cleveland or give you a VIP pass to the Rice Krispies dispenser in the Continental Breakfast lounge but that is about it. You can make the same extapolations about the Pierre, North Dakota Sizzler if you wish, but it just gets depressing. Whatever, until future notice its not an issue.

The issue that brought me here was of course, Josh Duhamel's new series Las Vegas. As a sidenote to this sidenote Josh Duhamel's last name makes me think of a British candy bar. Anyway, this show is fucking atrocious, I mean incredibly bad. They have Nikki Cox attempting legitimate performances. Lets recap Ms. Cox's curriculum vitae for a moment. There is only one notable moment and that is of course, Unhappily Ever After. To put this in Jeff Foxworthy terms "If you exchanged witty banter with a rabbit puppet voiced by Bobcat Goldthwait, you might be a bad actress." She is literally playing the hooker with a heart of gold in this show and wow is she awful. Josh "Cadbury" is no Sidney Poirtier either notably. The whole show is set with his Ferris Bueller style voiceover and he sounds like the world's biggest wad. There are only 2 redeeming things about this show at this point

1) the breasts-opening shot of the program has a topless Molly Sims riding Joshie and in the mirrored window in front of her you can see what appears to be a reflection of her, how should I put this, her tya-tyas, her gazoombas-now, this may have been my and katie's eyes playing tricks on us and maybe they edited it out and we were just filling it in ( I mean, how can you miss this) or whatever, but it looked like a straight up upper body nudity shot-it was cool

2) the establishing shots and discussion of Vegas-I fucking love that town. I really would love that dude's job, even though I have no experience in security, and certainly am way too much of a risk in that department. I think I would be hella good hospitality style though, give me authority and a billion dollar resort and I would fucking roll.

Beyond that I have little to say. I made some no bake cookies earlier and I think they are edible now, so I will check you.

Peace,

MB-K

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