Friday, September 12, 2003

Chim-Chiminee-Chim-Chiminee-Chim-Chim-Chimeroo

I know its misspelled, but that is how they say it for fucking ass dick sake. Alright, I admit it, I am slightly intoxicated. I have been drinking for a couple hours and although this gin and tonic is particularly flat, it still feels hella good. Regardless, you can just suck it if necessary, seriously. Put your mouth around it and suck like an anteater on a hot concrete sidewalk. Seriously.

So not much has been happening. I have done some reading and work and shit, finishing Freud's Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego and Kant's Critique of Practical Reason in the last two days. Right now Katie is watching What Not to Wear, which I fucking hate, like hate like a motherfucker, but she watches every week anyway. I guess that is legit, since I will force her to endure like a billion hours of football over the next several months, but nonetheless, I hate this show. Fucking TLC, Life Unscripted my ass. Unscript this you son or daughter of an asslickingasswhore.

It looks as though our wedding planning is actually beginning to come together, though I am not sure of anything more than I previously was. It looks like we will be able to have a sit down dinner at somewhere pretty nice and not absolutely destroy the bank. Many places are hotels, some are restaurants, and some are just neat places, like the zoo or something. I happen to particularly like the zoo, specifically the tropics area, since we could get married near the leopards and the tapir. It would be the Southeast Asian Tropics area, which has uber-cool animals. Fuck the dolphins, they are totally overrated. Plus it would be weird if we had tuna or something, we would have to explain to the dolphins why we were eating animals whose nets killed them all the time. I mean, we could pretend we were eating salmon or something. They may be the world's smartest fish but they are just fucking dolphins, if we tell them its salmon they won't know the difference. By the way, you assdick, I know that dolphins are not fish, but fuck you, they are like fish, they swim underwater and aren't turtles so they are fish. Bite me.

Finally, the other day, I was driving to school the other day and I looked in my rearview mirror to see something I expected I absolutely would not see. Its like that Lewis Black bit about not seeing a Starbucks when walking out of a Starbucks. Anyway, I slowed down and this car pulled up to me and fucking-A, it was a DeLorean. I mean, seriously, a DeLorean. I don't think the flux-capacitor was involved, but it was fucked up. I mean, it wasn't even like pimped out and totally rebuilt or anything. If you are going to have a DeLorean wouldn't you totally get it fixed up and add a leather interior and XM Satellite Radio or something. Those cars are worth something, if you ain't gonna do it to it then sell it and shit.

Peace,

MB-K

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You don't wanna get married next to a Leopard. The leopard will eat your bride and family.

The Zebra

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