So Happy Easter to any relevant parties. We celebrated the holiday with a little red meat, in honor of the completion of lent. We had the classic Baxter-family breakfast of Corned-Beef Hash and eggs and toast. Katie had found her Easter basket and the Cozy Heart Penguin CareBear Friend which was in it. We had gone Easter shopping Saturday and spent like 20 bucks on candy, so that was already taken care of. I don't know that I have ever mentioned Katie's "Cadbury Creme-Egg" obsession, but suffice to say I have eaten way more Cadbury Creme-Eggs this season than I can reasonably remember. I also got a really cute stuffed kitty, which we have named Claudia Jean Cat in honor of Allison Janney's portrayal of White House Press Secretary CJ Craig.
We had determined our Easter Sunday Dinner menu based on the ham that my parents had given us from the pig in the freezer. I combined the advice from AB, Martha Stewart, and Emeril in making a roasted ham with cloves, brown sugar, and coke. There are some things I could do to kick it up a couple notches, no doubt. Unfortunately the cheap roasting pan I picked up at Tops sprung a leak at some point during the cooking process and I was unable to make a good thick sugary jus to go a long with the ham. It wasn;t a problem, because there was more than enough sweetness in the meat, but still. We also made some cheese scalloped potatoes (very good), maple glazed carrots (pretty good), and Katie's clasic dinner rolls (excellent as always). We were going to make green beans with bacon and pearl onions, but we had enough food anyway and I didn't really feel like adding more work to the dinner. The dude at the liquour store came in pretty strong and the wine he recommended rolled well with the overt sweetness of brown sugar (how come you taste so good.)
The other highlight of our Easter celebration occurred at about 9:00 pm when ABC showed the Nick and Jessica Variety Hour starring Nick LaShey and Jessica Simpson of TVs Newlyweds. So obviously this show was supposed to be a satire of old school variety shows in some respects and continue on the jokes about Jessica's stupidity that every piece of film Jessica Simpson has appeared on in the past 2 years has done. The show was really odd for several reasons. First of all, many of the jokes, skits, and so on were obviously really bad. This combined the incredible acting talents of Nick and Jessica with the typically atrocious writing of ABC and variety shows. Secondly, some of the jokes were fucking really really funny. My guess is that there was a team of writers which included 9 dudes who can't write a joke that wasn't directly stolen from Laugh-In without crapping their pants (Josher tribeuce) and one person who is legitimately-ass funny. They had Mr. T do a couple sketches, one which was "10 Seconds of Discomfort With Mr. T." where Mr. T just sort of shifts his weight back and forth and stares into the camera really uncomfortably, it was SNL quality, sort of reminiscent of Phil Hartman's Frankenstein. They also had a sketch which started off so badly that I was going to turn the program off but turned awesome halfway through. It was a bad mockery of your random film noir detective moment with the primary joke being about the ability to generate an inner monologue. Jessica is like saying the things she means to think and Nick is trying to explain how to have an inner monologue and she keeps screwing up, and its awful. Then all of a sudden Jessica's inner monologue is Mr. T's voice. This is already funny. Then they try again and Jessica enters with her own voice in monologue, but with Mr. T's body. The moment that made the whole fucking program is when Mr. T, in his own voice, sang Jessica's new single. Until you have heard the T-Man garble "with nothing but a t-shirt on" you haven't heard music. The third fucked up element was all the music, which varied between random crap which Jessica fails so horribly to lip-sync that it will cause you physical fucking pain (she opens her mouth like she was trying to swallow a watermelon everytime she hits a long note) and the two of them singing with random celebrties from Babyface to Kenny Rogers. The other person whose duet is notable is Jessica and Jewel crooning out "Who Will Save Your Soul." Seriously, I mean this, after that rendition of this song the only humane thing to do is take it behind the woodshed and shoot it in the fucking head. I don't know your feelings about the work of early-Jewel anyway, but whether or not you liked the Alaskan who spent all her time "living in a van down by the river" you have to feel pity for her work at this moment.
Alright, I intended to post this last night, but I was too full of ham and stuff. So I am going to get this out there now and maybe ramble on again later, much like I had indicated I would on Saturday.
Peace,
MB-K
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
How can that be?
Post a Comment