Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Trust I Seek and I Find in Butt

A little Metallica to break in the new set of blog titles. Apparently the folks at Blurty have been having some mechanical difficulties and as such my journal was just a white page with some stupid description of the problem. Hence, every time all fucking weekend that I wanted to, for instance, voice my displeasure with the T-wolves playing like ass shit, or simply blow off some e-steam I was completely unable. I suppose I could have commented some more at other various websites, but they don't usually accomplish the same shitty that I do up in here. Anyway, it was weak that I had no access to my blog. The time of no-blog is over. The bloggedy age has begun. Let the horns sound from the mountain and the seas climb to the fjords. Hallelujah, hallelujah.

I won't attempt to describe all the random shit we have done since the last time I was able to post anything, but there are a few relevant subjects. You could take, for instance, the aforementioned ass-licking of one team of 12 players known worldwide as the TimberWolves. They roll through games 1 and 2 like the fucking one seed that they are and then decide to bend over and assume the postion which this month's Cosmo Kama-Sutra calls "The Booty Bridge" (see p. 164 of the one with J. Simpson on the cover). Sam Cassell blows the fuck-up for 40, KG has a triple double, averaging 25 points and 21 rebounds, and Spree scores 30, we look incredible. Saturday night we essentially just tasted our own butts for four 12 minute sessions, it was sickening. Last night we looked okay, but certainly not what we should be doing. Kevin played alright, we wouldn't have been in the picture without him, but not up to his standards. We better rap this shit up at home in game 5, or I think we ain't going much further than round 2. While I would be disappointed if we didn't at least get to the Western conference finals, I will be much much more pissed if we don't even have the heart to finish of the first round series 4-1.

On one other sports note, the NFL draft this past weekend was an interesting one for the Green Bay Packers. We went hard on the defensive side of the ball, which I am very pro, since we are returning virtually every offensive starter. We got a kid from Arkansas to play corner in the first round and from what I have seen I am excited. About two picks before us the Bills traded up and took J.P. Losman, the run and gun slinger from Tulane who the Packers kind of liked. I have only seen highlights of him, since Tulane pretty much blew, but everyone comapres his game to Favre's. He can throw pretty well on the run, off his back foot, etc., but not at NFL speed. Regardless, he'll be filling in when Drew gets hurt now. Everyone out here is cautiously optimistic about the fact that two days after drafting this cat the Bills renegotiated Bledose into a 3 year deal, signaling either that he is gonna pick up his play so he doesn't get overtaken by the future of the team, or that they can let him go without the 7 million dollar cap hit that it would have taken at the end of next year. Doesn't much matter to me, as long as they don't hurt the Pack, I can support the Bills. Even though it is kind of like cheering for a donkey on rollerskates. Don't ask me what that means.

On Sunday Katie and I had to go to this wedding preparation thing, since we are having a Catholic marriage. For the most part this was just boring and annoying, I mean, the communication section was probably useful for a lot of people (less so for intelligetn and well-educated DEBATE people) and if nothing else it does force you to talk openly about issues that you may not have explicitly considered before. Katie commented, I think very accurately, that many of the things that were once central to the discussion of getting married are solved by co-habitation. There is a lot in this little book we got that deals with finances, planning a schedule, sharing space and responsibilites, etc. and while we never completed worksheets about it, I think we've got it down. I don't know enough about divore statistics to say for sure, but my guess is that the rate of divore among couples who live together for any signifncant amount of time before they are married is lower than average. Then again, what the fuck do I know.

There were two other moments at this 4 FUCKING HOUR thing that were worth noting. First, there was a significant discussion of Natural Family Planning, what is essentially the Catholic church's version of the Andy Kemp "shit I'm gonna come" strategy. Technically its more complicated than that, but its the whole "don't use birth control thing." While I understand that they are gonna try it, I think the presentation was undercut by two factors. In the first place the woman talking about it admitted that she used birth control pills for like the first decade of her marriage, then decided to get pregnant and did so. There was no real attempt to explain why she shouldn't have used them, though she did mention that she was glad she didn't have to "take artificial hormomes everyday," a statement whose idiocy I will not even delve into. Further, this lady was not an expert, a doctor, or even really knowledgeable of the practice. It seems that, if you want to tell couples about this, don't go half assed, bring a nurse or someone in and explain what is involved and its benefits. If people are gonna take birth control they are gonna take birth control, so either way its probably a waste of time, but an interesting waste is better than nothing. The only mildly entertaining part of that whole talk was the chick's husband, who was so incredibly uncomfortable with implying that he took his wife's vaginal temperature that I think he snapped the pen he was holding in half.

The other moment was the very end of the whole thing, when this woman was saying a prayer that was way too fucking long and way too new-age-hippy-meditation thing for my taste. Regardless, it had this whole "envision yourself in a relaxing fountain" motif, and the descirption was long, so my mind was wadnering. Here was the series of connections: fountains often have angels or cupids peeing as the fountain stream, Andy pees all over the place, hahah, Andy as the fountain peeing. Then of course the woman indicates that the cool cleansing water of the fountain is nothing other than God's love. At this point I was struggling mightily to keep myself from laughing out loud, since the two thoughts that were fighting for my mental Nielsen ratings were Andy peeing God's love and the intro to Friends. Katie is, reasonably so I might add, very frightened about the idea of what it might mean if Andy were to conceptulaize his own acts of public urination as the spreading of God's love, but hopefully this chick has whipped his whipping it out into place.

Alright, back to life, back to reality.

Peace,

MB-K

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