If You're Gonna Play in Texas, You Gotta Have a Fiddle in the Butt

This marks what I believe is my first truly country butt-lyric. Maybe I need to expand my genretic boundaries, there is no reason rap, country, gospel, can't be butt lyircs up there with all the others. In the epic words of En Vogue, free your mind and the rest will follow.

So in an effort to raise some capital I have decided to start selling advertisments on my blog. I don't really have the technology to put any complicated "pictures" or "banners" on my webpage, though at some point I may figure out that type of rudimentary internet knowledge. So the advertising I am offering is this. Drop me an email about the service, product, or webpage that you want advertised. We can begin with a basic name dropping for a nominal fee "I was surfing around BUTTSEX.COM last night" or move onto a recommendation "I fucking love BUTTSEX.COM" or I can devote a whole paragraph of conversation "Imagine there was a paragraph about BUTTSEX.COM" here. We can add all sorts of extras to your Dizneuce's Blurty advertising experience. How bout some analogies, I do great comparisons to food, from cheeseburgers to fillet mignon. I also have an extensive knowledge of deviant sexual terms which I am happy to analogize to your business. Maybe BUTTSEX.COM is like getting a blowjob from a female badger with dyslexia. We can work something out. You might like me to write a song about it. I did a pretty decent PR campaign for manatees a couple days back. Also I can work alot of things into the lyrics of other songs, and since I am not worried about royalties to the artists involved we can keep it cheap.

You may be thinking, "What kind of an audience will I reach paying this dizneuce to write some nonsense about my business or website or service on his blog." Well, let me tell you summin buddy-boy-or-girl. The next millenium, beginning in 2005, is the blog millenium, excuse me, willenium. Pollitical blogs, news blogs, Kerry blogging, Bush blogging, according to my statistics everyone in the world will have 3.4 blogs each by February of next year. That means that on average, every person in the entire world will read what I say twice a day for the rest of their lives. If all goes according to plan the next generation of children will be born with a direct connection to my blog imbedded in their left bicep. I asked Kermit the Frog what he thought of my plan and he said "Sounds good. Excuse me, I have to stick my finger in Fozzie's butt." Tbe people who already read my blog are devoted and caring people. They have lots of money. One guy has like a million dollars. So advertise on my blog. Its a good business investment. I'm willing to negotiate terms. Also, I accept DVDs as payment. I also accept checks, cash, Britney Spears memorabilia, and autographed photos of Boss Hogg (autograph need not be of Boss Hogg himself).

The Wolves did not pull it out in game three, so we are really gonna need to cowboy up in our second stint in LA. Seriously, get it together and bring it back to Minneapolis to take the lead. I can't handle more disappointment right now. I could write more, but its gotten gratuitous already, so I'll save blabbering for tomorrow.

Peace,

MB-K