Thursday, May 06, 2004

Papa Was a Rodeo, Mama Was a Rock and Roll Butt

Its kinda hard to write alot in the blog when you are working the 9 hour days at the ole Wal-that-is-Mart. Work hasn't been particularly difficult, seeing as how the store is all antibusy and shit, but it fucking kills my back and is boring like ass. A couple highlights that deserve mention about the Lab. First off, pug dogs are all the rage round these parts. They are in like every other roll of pictures and I am so fucking jealous of all the people who have them. Taking pictures of your pug is like the new "taking pictures of your kids." On a funny, but slightly less interesting note, the Wal-Mart TV Network has kicked into much higher gear since last summer. I mean, they still have all the ads and shit that they have always had, Gillette stuff and grape juice and blah blah. More importantly, they have a bunch of things that are self-promoting of the Wal-Mart TV Network. Case in point, the little girl sining the "Gotta Look Up!" song which I cannot possibly relate to you. I mean, I could sing it to you if you were here, I could recite you the lyrics, but it wouldn't do anything justice. Suffice to say, this song plays like 3-4 times an hour, its fairly loud, not altogether un-annoying, and the girl looks exactly like a miniature brunette version of Brittany Murphy.

I mean seriously, she looks exacty like Brittany Murphy. If you don't believe me, drive to the nearest Wal-Mart, stare up at the TV's for 20ish minutes and check. She has this really over the top Brittany Murphy-esque smile. I could almost see her making out with Ashton Kutcher back before he was getting it stuck to him by Demi Moore. Thats kind of a nasty thought, since this chick is like 8, but regardless, I can see it.

Katie is all mad at me because I have too much tv in the old TiVo. While I can't plead anything but "I'm sorry, my bad" it does at least indicate that I will have plenty of shitty to watch when Katie is out of town. I would also like to think that I would have plenty to write about, since I won't have anyone to talk to at all for like fucking years at a time, but chure. For instance, lets say Katie works on a given day, and I do not. I would get up on that day, not leave the house, talk to Katie on her lunch break, and for a while at night. It would be like it always was before Katie moved out here, but of course Katie has been here for a long time now, and now it just kinda blows that she is gonna leave. I get that its necessary and all, but it still begins about an inch above the anus, and licks all the way over the butthole, over the perineum, and directly atop the scrot.

I am approaching the moment where I will begin critiquing the season finales of television's most important programs. As I type we are watching the final episode of Friends, a show which I have never really been into. I know its really popular, and its not awful, but I have just never gotten to the point where I was interested in the show, even though I have seen most of the big plotlines at one point along their trajectory. Regardless, I gotta watch the ending, I mean, even if you didn't watch M*A*S*H you had to see the show out. When I said that, by the way, I was not aware that I was gonna get entirely jacked by my TiVo. Seriously, did NBC decide that they just wanted to shove it, as hard as they possibly could, up the butt of everyone in the country who no longer watches televiion as it fucking happens. Networks have been pretty good at making sure that things like this specifically do not occur, this is a fuck up of gigantic proportions. You can even fix these thigns right up to the last couple hours, get it out to TiVo and the cable places so they can update their exact recording times. The last couple episodes of Friends were all "32" minutes or "37" minutes and we didn't even miss the credits. You can't get it together when it comes to what you think is the biggest show ever comes to a fucking conclusion. Its not the biggest concluision ever, notably, it was estimated last week that it would be the 4th biggest ever, behind Mash, Seinfeld, and Cheers.

Anyway, thats enough for now. I'm gonna shoot to keep regularly updating in smaller chunks, but we'll see.

Peace,

MB-K

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