On Tyatyas

I think that the philosophical tendency to name writings "On ____" is really cool, especially when the subject being discussed is not one you would aoften associate with much philosophical or intellectual clarity. I think that the tyatya works especially well in this situation. My treatise is of course in reaction to the Janet incident this past weekend. I used it as an example in my class today in attempting to discuss what a "self-fulfilling prophecy" is. I had given them sex-ed, arms races, and racial profiling before asking them to come up with a different one. They weren't able to of course but I didn't really expect that they would, its not easy when put under the gun. I brought up Janet since it was a contemporary thing they would be able to discuss. I don't know that there was a good argument for why it was self-fulfilling, very few things you can say will make someone's breast fall out. Fall out is more than a slight misnomer obviously, more accurately Justin ripped it out like a winning pull-tab, but I digress.

Someone seriously needs to inform me about this, however. Is seeing the majority of Janet Jackson's right breast really that shocking. I was watching the halftime show, I was watching Justin-fied buttgrind Janet and I heard "gonna have you naked by the end of this song" then Justin opened up the breast-shield. I was like, "Was that her breast." We hit rewind and checked it out a couple times. We both determined pretty conclusively that you couldn't really see her nipple, because there was some big gold thing on it. It looked like one of those nipple-tassle pasty things (I guess it turned out to be conspicuously large jewelry, which I would imagine felt wondeful under a skin-tight vinyl corsety thing, but to each his or her own nippular accessoriums) but we both decided there was nothing really that special about it, and we moved on. Lo and behold, the story leads the NYT and Sportscenter not only the day after the SuperBowl, but into freaking Wednesday. There are a buttload of things that I don't get:

1) There is a uniqueness problem-Janet Jackson is responsible for one of the most famous Rolling Stone covers of all fucking time and it may as well have been an advertisement for a breast grabbing competition (dude, I bet you would get fuckloads of entries into a breast-grabbing competition, assuming you had the necessary breasts this could become a new national past time, I may have to put some thought into how you determine the winner, since finding the requisite breasts would be especially difficult if you just went by strength of squeeze, though it could double as a mamogram. Oh mamogram jokes, I slay me). If you haven't seen this cover you went somewhere fucking re-mote for most of the early-mid-90s. I'm pretty sure there are other instances as well. CBS didn't air a close up, ie: the The Bare Wench Project, so if this was the most anyone in your home has seen of a breast recently you either you were watching the game with Ray Charles or you had snuck a TV into the Amish colony for the afternoon.

2) Would this have been more family friendly if Justin had merely attempted to enter Janet anally through her pants when singing "gonna have you naked" as he was doing it before. I will admit that I am rarely representative of the family values crowd but once you have already decided to be provactive what exactly does three-quarters tit add to the process. Did you assume that Justin was referring to his pasta or baked potato. "I guarauntee you!! I WILL have the sauce off this pasta by the end of this song. DAMN IT I WILL OR MY NAME IS NOT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!" The lyrics give me some damn good ideas about what is going on, the illustration did little to enhance the experience.

3) Was it just the fact that the breast went from not revealed to revealed during the song. Is the actual process of revelation the problem. Two days later I watched America's Next Top Model and there was like 2 solid minutes of bare-teenage-model-girl-ass on screen. I mean, they had their thongs on, but this was even on UPN, which is essentially a combination of GodTV and shows that the WB rejected. Why is completely visible butt during prime time on WhatWouldJesusWatch (nothing on that channel by the way) a to the fucking g, while the breastial majority is worthy of Dan Rather's attention.

I could go on and on about the tyatyas, believe me, but I feel no need. As a brief summary of my feelings, I am pro. I have often waxed more than poetic on the subject, particularly the first time I saw the video for "Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know," but that is enough.

Katie and I are headed to the out of town, as I have mentioned, so I may be OOC for the weekend. I am a little worried about tomorrow mornings weather sit, but once we are on the highway I think we should be alright. Keep it real. See you on the flip.

Peace,

MB-K