I cannot believe I forgot to mention this shitty by the way. So the intro to the Golden Globes last Saturday was a parody of the Outkast smash-hit "Hey-Ya" about all the people arriving at the Golden Globes. The song was obviously a pre-written and pre-recorded number that was played over the video of the relevant people on the red carpet ten minutes earlier. Apparently there were people who thought this was good, but I literally fell off the couch laughing at how bad it was when it aired last Sunday. This is, I swear to God, an actual line from this song. You could probably find it online somewhere, maybe download the video or at least the tune on kazaa, if you don't believe me, or even if you are just in the mood to hear some funny ass shit. Back to the line, this is word for word from the song. Fit this to the rhythm of one of the lines that come just before the chorus. We see a picture of Uma Thurman, then we hear the brilliant words drift in:
"And here comes Uma/Uma Uma Uma/ and no its not a ruma'/ Ashton Kutcher is really here....2-3-4 HEEEEYYYY--YAAAA"
It was so wonderful, I cannot even explain to you how wonderful it was. I can, however, explain to you how annoying it is when my last class of the day runs almost 20 minutes over. I understand, of course, that sometimes you need a couple minutes or whatever to finish up a thought. That is cool with me. Take five of them even. If you have to do more than that, at least tell me. Say something like "I will need 10 more minutes, sorry about that." And then do what you gotta do so I can go home, but at least with a reasonable expectation. I would also prefer that the other estudiantes in aforementioned lecture shut the fuck up after that 5 or so minute mark. Either you really want to talk about this shitty or you just want to impress somebody and I don't particularly think that either of those excuses warrants it. Talk during the class, there was no shortage of opportunities, save your comments for next time, whatever. I have nothing against people liking their education or being involved or whatever, but I have been at school for like 10 hours, I am hungry and thirsty and haven't watched any television or hung out with Katie in that same amount of time. Enough of the complaining about schedulistic concerns.
We have plans this weekend, heading down to West Virgina to judge some debate tournament. I would have thought that the ole Virginnies were too far South, since I always sort of associated them with Dixie, Carolina, etc. I guess that the part of West Virginia we are heading to is just a straight shot south of here though, no more than 5 or so hours. We are judging for Binghamton folks, since Katie has no teams debating this weekend, so we actually will make a good amount. At the very least we get a couple hundred bucks after all relevant expenses and to add another state on my visited states list. Since moving out to Buffalo that number has increased substantially, you tack on Ohio, Pennsylvania, Vermont. I guess that is really about all that you tack on, but three is a significant percentage of like 14. A 20% increase is all good as far as I am concerned. If I was playing baseball I would have jumped from batting just over three-hundred to about 500. I would be a lock for the hall of fame and everybody would totally want me, which would be sweet.
I would imagine we will be at a debate tournament the week after as well, which blows insofar as it is Valentine's Day and hence the one-year anniversary of our engagement, but I guess we will have to celebrate another day. Katie will likely already have a commitment then, but I should be able to at least make up our expenses. Could be a lot worse, let me tell you.
I was going to start an O.C. spoiler page this week, as per the suggestion of some wonderful bastard, but unfortunately there is no new O.C. Instead of enjoying that wondeful newerific program this week CTV showcased this Wednesday's upcoming epsiode of the West Wing. I would post spoilers but you don't want them, just watch the show. You could email me if you are desperate to know Josh's choicest tales this week, but I would suggest that they are better when he uses them himself. "Eric is pregnant!! Feel those kicks, he's gonna be a soccer player!! He is!! He is!!"
Who would you rather bone: Ashtabula, Ohio or Janet Jackson's fully covered breast. I personally would choose Ashtabula, Ohio, because once you get there one of two things happens. Either you are on your way home from somewhere West of Buffalo, which means you will get home fairly soon, or you are on your way West from Buffalo and since you are already in Ashtabula, you get to stop at the Ashtabula MickeyD's for lunch/dinner/breakfast/snack. After all, if you are driving in the middle of the night the Ashtabula McDonalds is the first 24 hour one visible from the highway. I mean you have all your Tollway rest areas and shit, but some of them not so hot in the middle of the night. Lets say you hit the point in Ohio where 80 and 90 connect and go toll style. Well, right away you have a fairly decent rest area with about 7 different restaurants, a gas station, a convenceince area, and that shitty. Notably, however, most of those are closed late at night. The Great Steak and Potato Company, your Panda Express, even the Sabaro. Obviously the Panera Bread is shut down, but that place pretty much borders on sit down food anyway, especially one right off the freeway. Even the Starbucks, which I would think would be the most important place to roll durante la noche caps it at like 10 on weekdays, maybe earlier. There is one more of those quality ones about 40 miles further Westward. After that everything in Ohio starts to suck major assbutt. The gas stations switch on and off between Sunoco and Mobil, but the restaurants are just Hardees, Hardees the whole fucking way. Sometimes, I will admit, I am game for a solid Monster Burger, but those times are few and far between. Furthermore, for some inexplicable reason, late at night there is nothing which feels shadier than an empty Hardees in the middle of the Ohio turnpike.
As fascinated as I am sure my multitude of readers are to hear these varied stories about the Ohio turnpike and its rest stops, I will leave you be now with the mention of the only place technically more shady then an abandoned Hardees. That place is of course, Lake Shady. We happened upon this wonderful place on our way to the Spriz-Griz, a story which I just realized has some melancholy to it. Anyway, we happened to notice a sign for Lake Shady right near the Conoco in Oronoco, off 52. We obviously had no choice but to stop on our way back. That was a Sunday afternoon I believe, a beautiful sunny day. It was not fiery warm outside, but it was late summer and there were a bunch of families hanging around the lake front, which was a parkish area with benches and the like.
So two Mazdas, mine and Sanjays, pull into the parking lot of Lake Shady park (I don't know if this is actually the name) and 9 or so of us stumble out, hungover, and walk down to the shore. With families playing back further near the parking lot, regarding us with more than some suspicision. No one said anything or whatever, but as we huddled and smoked a bunch of cigarettes to cover up the significantly more shady activity, I can say for certain that we satisfied the standards of the name. Wait, who is that. I think its...wait...here comes Uma! Uma-Uma-Uma...
Peace,
MB-K
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