That is an accurate description of my Spring Break '04 assuming that by "gone wild" you mean "went to Ole Piper Inn" and by "girls" you mean "me, Reuter, and a bunch of old drunk hicks." There was very little going wild in any respect, though it was a large consortium of good times. I tried to detail everything that happened over my winter break in a row but that simply didn't happen so I will divide into categories and mention the most relevant or interesting portions of that section:
--WEDDING SHITTY--
This category consumed beaucoup de nosotros tiempos. The highlight, however, is pretty easily identifiable, since it was pretty much the nutzors. On Wednesday I picked Katie and her mom up at Herbergers to roll over to the Hyatt. Tom was meeting us there and we were all in the boardroom right around 12;00. There was a table in the foyer set for the most part as it would be at the reception. We looked at it and moved into the board room itself. I was surprised that neither George nor Caroline were in the corners and there wasn't really even a convenient door for The Donald to enter from, so instead we just ate. This was, after all, the tasting for the wedding menu. We had selected a bunch of tasty items that we were interested in and a vegan option too. We met up with our wedding co-ordinator, who is a fantastic addition to the whole wedding planning thing. The Hyatt, being a pretty reasonably moderately not-too-finicky but certainly not un-sophisticated establishment, does alot of shit for you under the assumption that you and your guests are gonna drop more than their share on booze and rooms and the associated things. We talked about those and then tried some of the hors d'oeuvre that had been selected for us. I will leave these for a little surprise, but they include some vegan shit and some flesh, a good combo. We had some wine, a chardonnay that doesn't do much for me and another one that also did little for me but was significantly better tasting. We chose that one, since it was only marginally more expensive, and also a pinot noir, which I am hoping people will be okay with, since I am not sure as many people like pinot noirs as much as they would prefer a calmer merlot or whatev. Anyway, we tried a couple different types of fish. The walleye, which we had wanted to be hella awesome since it would be a Minnesota fish and we were looking at a potential Minnesota culinary theme thing alongside the Summit EPA, wasn't as good as the halibut with lemon and spinach. We denied them both, however, opting for a very tasty pecan-crusted chicken breast and the obvious filet. The filet was almost, not quite, but almost, overshadowed by the potatoes that accompanied it, mashed yukon golds with garlic and some type of garlic cheese whose name I forgot. It was incroyable, absolutely so. Pretty much the highlight of the day. The surprise of the afternoon was surprisingly contained in the vegan section. For my thoughts about veganism and vegetarianism you can see several entries of last summer I think, nonetheless, we have at least some potentially vegan people involved. This is to the detriment of the vegetarians in the crowd, since the food designed for vegetarians loses all the flavor potentially contained in cream sauces and cheese that would normally go on the vegetables, but its better than the alternative. So we had selected a "Portabella Napoleon" from their vegetarian menu to give a try, it was just a well presented stack of veggies grilled and served with some rice and marinara sauce, and it was alright. Nonetheless, when you do this shitty at the Hyatt, they ain't gonna just serve you crap. Both the executive chef of the Hyatt and the executive sous-chef had come into the board room to meet us during the tasting, as did the catering manager and some of the event managers etc. They had designed for us an additional vegan entree, seeing as how Katie had projected that it would be important for our wedding, that we would have many vegans. This was the vegan nuts, pretty much. It was boiled red kale leaves stuffed with hummus and topped with grilled vegetables in a red-chili sauce and served with a tasty spinach and sun-dried tomato risotto. Wow, I was blown away. Don't get me wrong, it would be better if you had some bacon wrapped around the kale or had one of those nine ounce filets elsewhere onhe plate, but damn, being vegan at the Hyatt isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Notably, the two restaurants featured down the hall become somewhat useless when you quit eating meat and that distracts more than a little from the wonders of the Hyatt Regency Minneapolis, but still. We also met with the priest who will do the wedding thing, a bunch of photographers, and some other stuff, but I already explained this process. Go fuck yourself.
--FAMILY--
I saw my sister for like a minute while she was home. Prior to the whole divorce-gay-new partners thing I think she was home alot more, though I guess that doesn't surprise me. She was only at the house for about 10 minutes during the week that I was there, though she does admittedly like being at school hella more than I ever did and she was out of town the last weekend. Regardless, she is doing aight. My parents are a to the g as well, I hung out with both of them at least a couple times, though I get the impression that my mother is far busier than she lets on. Its not all work-busy, but busy nonetheless. I got to watch two different afternoons of tournaments while I was at home with my dad, high school hockey one weekend and NCAA basketball the other. Good times. The more interesting focus is of course my brother's return home. I woke up after hearing someone wandering around the house at like 11:00 pm on Tuesday night. This was odd since my parents had been going to sleep and pretty much staying that way after about 9:00, same routine as always for my dad but slightly off para mi madre. Anyway, I was going to turn off the lights when I, pretty much by accident. looked out the window and saw my brother's car. He and Melia (sic) (his girflriend who I think I mentioned once before when returning from winter break) had come back for a couple days over their own Spring Break. It was an unexpected but totally sweet situation. We had planned to stop in Madison on our way back to St. Paul for lunch or something, but the whole Disasterbacle starring my dipfuck alternator affair set us too far off course. Regardless, this made it irrelevant. Katie had to work the next morning so I went out with them that night. It wasn't really impressive until the following evening, when virtually the entire old House crew gathered. There were some missing individuals obviously and fairly significant ones, Sanjay, AJ, Andy, etc. but Kevin, Maroney, Reuter, Ari, Andy J, myself, and my bro made for a significant faction. I guess there are some times we have all been together en masse since then, at least more complete than this gathering was (ie: New Years) but this didn't really have the special occasion feel that brought that one together. I guess it was interesting largely because it came out of nowhere, there was no holiday to be celebrated or reason to be home. Admittedly, St. Patrick's day was the following night, and as much as I wish like fucking asshell that it were, St Patrick's day does not an "everybody's coming home" holiday make. We drank some green beer at Andy J's place that night and shit. Becca Walter-Hansen seemed to be drunk, which, if you knew the woman, would constitute a novelty in and of itself. Anyway, it was nice to see the fam, for the varying amounts of time that I got to, and it was equally enjoyable to hang out with them.
As a seperate section I suppose that I should mention Katie's family, which are not yet technically my family, but that is a distinction as fine as good cut heroin. Katie remarked upon our arrival that she had not seen her parents together in almost exactly a year, for me it had been even an extra 4 or so months. Anyway, we spent a good amount of time with them over the week, having a couple dinners, a couple afternoons, and as always, more than a couple drinks. My friendship with Katie's parents has resulted in my drinking far more delicious beers than I would likely ever have been able, but my do I enjoy it. Its nice that there are people who aren't like college students who keep beer in their fridge on a regular basis. Maybe thats just because my parents almost religiously avoided the whole alchohol in the casa thing until very recently, but I digress. They joined us at the tasting and even though not everything got accomplished regarding the wedding or other logistical creations it was so incredibly useful to be in the right area at the right time. When we went to the tasting at the Hyatt we were able to come to decisions pretty quickly, I can imagine that if Katie and I would have gone alone we would have left with a "well, we will think about it and email you soon." Instead we have everything but a single appetizer taken care of. We also have a photographer and a list of all the things which need to be acheived, monetarily and otherwise, I bet we would have moved the wedding up a couple months if we would have been in Minneapolis. Fucking Buffalo.
--FRIENDS AND FOLK--
We certainly didn't get to see everyone while we were at home, but at least glanced at most people. You've got the boys and girls from the burbs who we hung out with at Andy J's place and the like, you've got some Mac-debate folk who we saw before everyone took off for CEDA nats and shit, and you've got the address crowd (AJ, Pete, Meg, and Mary in this case, whom I refer to as such insofar as their places of residence are known by the number and street ie: 100 N. Howell or 812 Holton) whom I was with only briefly at Dixie's on the night before I returned. Each of those was a good night in its own respect. It was a blast to be back with the RHS crew if for no other reason than I was really able to kick back, the exact type of thing I can't do at all in Lockport. I mean, all you really need is some form of intoxicant, a comfortable place to sit, a TV, maybe a video game system, and a group of friends in the area of 4-10 people. There are other things you can add into this equation of course, a fine cigar, some hockey, the NCAA tournament, or a well set up poker table, but its not necessary of course. You sit down and don't have to consider work the next day or whatever, which is much easier to do when you are 1000 miles from where you would be working of course, but having friends you associate with the good ole days helps too.
I can't really think of a specific moment, however that really deserves mention in the way I did above. My usual activities are known, for the most part, so let me isolate a couple random elements. Reut and I went to the Ole Piper Inn on Friday night because we had no one to hang out with and all the other bars were crowded. For the most part I would assume you have never been to the Ole Piper Inn, and in all honesty this is probably for the best. If you want to experience it, go over to the local VFW or the Lodge or the Legion or whatever, there is one in every smaller town in America. The places are for the most part all the same, there is usually some sort of covering on the wall, at the Ole Piper Inn it was a wonderful fake log cabin paneling. The tables and chairs feel like they could be in a high school band room from the 1970s, they are always metal tubing with oddly colored padding, Ole Piper had selected something I can describe only as "butt-orange" the color you would get if you took a heaping teaspoon of ass and spread it on top of an orange. Bunches of crap on the floor, usually a combination of some complimentary bar food and the pull tabs. The OPI came in strong in both regards, selecting popcorn instead of peanut shells but keeping the pull tabs in full effect. Anyway, Reuter and I spent like 3 hours at this bar because we had nofuckingwhere else to go. The only positive thing to come out of the evening is that our check came to, I think 9.40 for 5 beers. It wasn't more than 10 bucks, so a decent deal at least. If they have a happy hour it must be like a beer vending machine, put in two quarters and pull the handle. Our waitress was fucking awful and I am pretty sure that she lied to Reuter about the very existence of a non-kids menu personal pizza. There was also a couple of really incredible dudes there, with some high quality mullets, and feed hats (if you don't know what a feed hat is you should check out a copy of How To Speak Minnesotan) and one guy who was screaming at the top of his lungs at the Gophers-UMD game even though there was literally 20 seconds left and Ski-U-Mah was up two goals and playing in the offensive zone. See, the OPI has only two purposes: 1) you take your son or daughter's baseball team after the friday night game 2) you are a hick and want crappy beer. Its hard to explain, but the joint is located in this section of Rosemount that is like an island in the middle of Apple Valley. There is just a little square cut out that they call Rosemount, its right by the area affectionately called Valley Pork (that may just be by the debate team though, its probably better known as Valley Park) which is odd, but you just get it after a couple years in the area. Its only like a couple miles in either direction. Nonetheless, that area is somewhat known for its awkward mix of individuals who fit the above stereotypes. Oh, oh oh, I almost forgot the best part. So from our booth we had a pretty good view of the many televisions throughout the bar. We sort of convinced ourselves that we should stay there because they do have some quality Televisual equipment, Sony Vega TVs I believe. Eventually we got up to play a round of Golden Tee 2k5 and upon closer inspection noticed that the TVs appear to just be random old televisions with gray plastic panels attached to the front to make them appear more expensive. Seriously, it is fucked up. I don't know how they pulled it off, but they are explicitly not the flat screens they are trying to make them out to be. Funny shit.
Before we return to the categories, let me just say something. We just watched the finale to Season 2 of America's Next Top Model, and for as much as I dig on this program they have repeatedly screwed the pooch when it comes to selecting the winner. Tonight was especially bad, since they were given one girl who licked nuts like they were cotton candy, one who was pretty good, and one who Shandied the other ones out of the competition. I really want to find how I can get some of Shandi's t-shirts, they were hella sweet. Maybe she will get a website, because I want a Shantrhax shirt pretty badly. Anyway, they jobbed her, she should have one, I will purchase one of any product that chooses her to endorse it. Anyway, while I will certainly be on board and excited for ANTM 3 I will be uber pissed if whatever chick I like goes the way of Elyse and Shandi. There are only two reasons I can think of that would make me want to be a hot chick, the first is of course, unlimited access to a hot chick's vagina, the second is the ability to be on ANTM. I am really just not cut out for reality television, but since I don't have a chance at this one anyway, I can pretend that I would like to be on it.
--DRIVING HOME--
At the last minute we decided to alter our admittedly silly plan for leaving, though our solution ended up only moderately less silly. Since Katie spent her weekend in New Orleans and wasn't getting back until sometime later on Sunday afternoon or evening we had planned on just leaving when she returned and either pushing it to somewhere Indiana-ish or just getting to Mad-town and crashin with the bro. I knew, after the Cleveland home thing in 12 hours, that the drive from Madison back to Buffalo wouldn't be anything too difficult. Nonetheless, we decided that instead of just having her return all the way to Minnesota, it would make more sense for me to pick her up somewhere along the way. So I got up on Sunday morning and, like the stupid sentimental fuck that I am, went goodbye saying goodbye to all the places in my house. I mean, I didn't literally say goodbye, but I wandered around for 10 minutes and sort of remembered all the things we did back in the day. After that I said goodbye to the living things in the house andSin rolled. I made fantasgreat time and hit Madtown in like 3 and one half hours. Katie and I were playing it by ear where we would meet up and I eventually ended up halfway through the fucking state of Illinois to pick her up. While Katie's optimisim and my pessimism usually balance each other out, apparently in this instance some geographical errors complicated the picture. We ended up about 90 miles out of the way, but at least we were about 40 percent done with the drive by 6:00 pm, about the time I was otherwise hoping to leave the Twin Cities. So while we were making good time, this meant that by no means were we going to stop at a hotel for the night. That decision almost changed when, suffering from severe ass-exhaustion (and here I mean literal exhaustion of the ass via sitting in a driving position for too long) and lack of basketball scores (I didn't even get to hear the second half of the Kentucky UAB showdown) I traded seats with Katie and we proceded, on the immediate Eastern side of Cleveland, to encounter several moments of absolute whiteouts on the highway. It was, admittedly, pretty horrifying when these semi trucks refused to slowdown and barrelled by us at like 45 miles an hour when there is no possible way the drivers could see the speed they were trying to inhale off the dashboard. Maybe they just thought all the blowing white powder was like the trucker equivalent of being in one of those money blowing phone-booths. I can see the mullet blowing in the wind while they stuck their septum-lacking noses out the windows only to encounter the coldest blow this side of the Trans-Siberian methlab. But we did get home, right around 5:30 am eastern time. I didn't even have time to play with my beloved DVR before hitting the sack.
Alright, thats enough about the whole spring break experience for one bloggerific moment. I will try to keep on sched for a little while since we have no immediate plans to leave town. Keep it real like a deal with a value meal and a dude who eats veal with a seal named after Jessica Beal.
Peace,
MB-K
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