Finished With My Woman Cause She Couldn't Help Me With My Butt

Monday nights have started biting major ass, at least in the televisual department. I had been pleased with the traditional Canadian custom of watching The OC two days before Wednesday, and I still am, but it was nicer when it was sort of sandwiched amongst all the other lovely programs. There is Las Vegas, but I need more time to get into that program. My guess is that I will just have to save it for DVD. I will admit that I am continuing to TiVo The Swan, because even though it is ridiculous and offensive and stupid, it is neat to see how different they look at the end. I mean, obviously, they look really fucking different because they pumped like 20,000 bucks into plastic surgery.

The one question I have generated as a result of watching the first however many stupid fucking epsiodes of The Swan, what the fuck are DaVinci veneers. Admittedly, I have skipped over the actual makeover part of the show, because I can't fucking stand to watch it, but I am pretty sure that they are just like fake teeth that go in front of or over or whatever the actual teeth. It seems like it would be really fucked up, I don't know how you go about brushing your actual teeth or getting real dental work done, but whatever. Can you feel that you have DaVinci veneers over your real teeth, does it feel like nothing. I mean, it can't feel like nothing, your mouth is pretty sensitve shitty (If you know what I am talking about...) so its probably annoying. If you could just put a fake set of teeth over your real teeth so that your real teeth didn't wear and tear and it didn't feel like you were wearing a pair of those fake glow-in-the-dark vampire teeth from when you were little then everyone would fucking do it. Maybe I am wrong and this is just so expensive as to not be worth it for everyone, but I would personally be so down, maybe it will cost some significant bank, but you would save assshit on dentisty. Crazy.

Katie and I made crepes tonight, actually Katie just made the crepes, I made the whipped cream and washed some dishes. Katie always wants to eat strawberries with her crepes, and it seems awful to me. I tried a couple bites with those and it was okay, but I will admit, much to my own chagrin, that when sprinkled with a good bit of sugar and dipped in the sugary cream, they weren't bad. Katie has of course decided to take full advantage of this moment by attempting to force me to eat peaches and other nasty ass-fruit, but we will have to wait and see. For the moment I will add conditionally eaten strawberries to the list of fruits which constitute good eats, I still don't want to start having them on my shortcake or in my cereal, but whatev.

I've been rolling through the second of my papers for the end of the semester and the first couple pages have flown by. I am about a third of the way there with only 2-ish hours of work. My guess is that I will have a full week to finish Joan's by the 30th of April, which is admittedly only a fucking day before I go back to the mofuckin Wal-Mart. I'll survive.

I am thinking about narrowing down the current "World's Greatest Butt-Lyric List" to maybe the three best. I have no plans for switching away from the Butt-Lyric titling format, so if people are put off by it they better speak up. Further, if you want to put in votes for your favorite to make sure they make the top 3, do so now. I guess I will accumulate some sort of hall of fame, a sort of "je ne sais quois pas de canarde y les grandes jambones" to Butt-Lyrics.

I was on the Ben and Jerry's website the other day trying to determine which current flavors I still had to get my grubby ice cream loving hands on and in the process was on the "suggest a flavor" page. I was trying to think of a flavor I wanted and at the same time trying to fit it into the dirty-peacenik-hippies that run Ben and Jerry's mentality. Pretty much, I am amazed they haven't made it already, but the best suggestion was obvious. Weed. Weed Ice Cream. I am not sure what the name would be best, maybe "Hippy Chip" or "Peppermint Bong-Bong" or "I Mari-Wanna Eat Some Ice Cream" or "Bubbler Pecan." I could go on, but they would get lamer. Dirty hippies and their dirty ice cream. Its not like they would have to do alot to try out some of the flavors. I would actually bet dollars to donuts that when two stoners have access to industrial ice cream machines, gallons of cream, and based on all possible evidence, probably not small amounts of "party supplies" they have slipped more than a couple bowls worth into a batch of Cherry Garcia now and then. Maybe they let it go out to the market even, just figuring that the majority of their audience might already be in a condition which prevents them from really noticing. Maybe not, I suppose Ben and Jerry's is a pretty legit organization, but I still get the idea that they are only a step away from the hippy commune in that episode of the Simpsons where they make organic juice. Alright, I am going to go back to enjoying The O.C.

Peace,

MB-K