Her Name is Rio and She Dances in the Butt

I have decided to attempt to find the best lyric which, when the last word is exchanged with butt, sounds ultima-super-awesome. In search of this goal, I will utilize my blog titles in the pursuit.

So I have watched like 4 episodes of Wondefalls, I caught up on all the ones I had tivoed, and now find out that the show is officially fucking canceled. Television, like sushi, appears to be engaged in an obscure drive towards self destruction, by getting rid of everything which borders on decent. Don't get me wrong, I love you TV, I love your reality programs, your blockbuster dramas, and even some of your better written comedies. But when every new show which isn't produced by Mark Burnett (or more accurately, is produced by someone who has ties to Joss) gets four episodes and is then canceled we can only go on so long. I know you can always put washed 80's cop show stars and cute blonde West Wing extras together and make CSI: Boise but seriously. I know not everyone likes Buffy and Angel, I got it, some people are fucking stupid, some people don't get the fantasy genre, some people have never given it a chance. But the only similarity between the Buffyverse and Firefly-Wonderfalls is that they are both well written. I mean, I agree with the criticism that you have to watch these shows a while to get into them, the first 2 episodes of Wonderfalls were okay, but nothing to write home about. You had to give them a chance to get into the gimmicks, the actors a chance to really understand where it was going, etc. one of the articles I read (I think it was the one that Pete linked to on his blog) mentioned Tim Minnear's quote that the season told a story, you can't just judge it off 4 shows and I think that is accurate. Let me explain a little to any Fox execs in the audience: audiences like to know characters, they like to get involved in their lives, their inside jokes, they like to find out things about them you didn't know. If you give the show 13 episodes, the story has been told, and no one liked it, then fucking don't renew it, thats fine. Whatever, you tried it, it failed. I am pretty sure that your mid-season replacement isn't going to be CSI, you are probably just going to force gay blind people to fight leopards or something, then cancel that so you can show a new comedy starring Eva Peron's niece and the fat computer guy from Head of the Class (whose name I can't fucking believe I forgot) as Leprechaun hunters in 1940s Nova Scotia.

On a more relevant note, it is worth noting the times at which Fox decided to show this program. They began on Fridays at 9:00. I like that idea, I still do like it as much as I proposed last year. Nonetheless, I am willing now to admit that while I like having new quality programming to watch on Friday nights (or at least to tivo on Friday nights) it is not a successful program for ratings. Miss Match, which was a show I enjoyed and would have continued to watch, wasn't incredible, but solid, bombed for no apparent reason, it was something the Friend's crowd would eat up but better written. Anyway, if Fox executives out there ended up putting Wonderfalls on Friday because of my Friday ratings advice, I apologize, my bad, don't use that failure to justify not following my other advice. Maybe they are just putting shows on Friday night that they know are good but for some reason don't want to continue on the network (Firefly, Wonderfalls, and Miss Match all Fridays at 9), Then again, maybe Joan of Arcadia indicates that there is simply some different formula for Friday, rather than Thursday, night success. Regardless, the ad-wizards at Fox decided then to switch the show over to catch the GIGANTIC COATTAILS OF TRU CALLING!!! What the fuck, they put it on THURSDAYS AT NINE!!! Why don't you just air the show only during the Super Bowl, the American Idol Finale, the last episode of Friends, and the next time terrorists blow something up, great schedule. Hmmmm, lets see. We've got a crappy show with a chick who should be developing Faith The Vampire Slayer and the time slot afterwards goes up against two of the three most popular shows on television which means that all possible fucking audiences are committed. Electro-to-the we-awk.

Speaking of Thursdays at nine, the Donald was hosting SNL this past week, and came through pretty solidly. The nut was when he did one of the sketches in the series that I believe began with Stevie Nicks house of tacos. This was Donald Trump's House of Wings. The theme song was to the tune of "Jump For My Love" and motherfucking hilarious. I believe the lyrics were:

"You know our wings, will make you happy (TRUMP)
You know our wings, will cheer you up (TRUMP-IN)
If you want wings, we'll serve you up a big plate
Donald Trump's House of Wings"

I don't know if I can possibly convey to you how hilarious this shit was. If you don't find this concept humorous, well, you have no soul. I watched it back like 3 times and while Katie was able to breathe, unlike me, she enjoyed it too. I will let you know when I find it on Kazaa or something somewhere. The only joke which compared at all was Horatio Sanz as David Crosby explaining what he did when he wasn't busy "throwing his semen around the lesbian community." Katie, surprisingly for her normally excessive knowledge of everything, was not aware of his relationship with Melissa Etheridge and her partner (fucking A, how can I not remember people's names today, what is that woman's fucking name). Anyway, props to SNL for a good show.

Another props based shout out is directed at the U of M Women's Basketball team for a fucking off the hook run into the Final Four. They were beaten fairly well by the ladies at UConn last night, but still played pretty well. Lindsay Whalen is fucking awesome and so is this Janel McCarville woman, but the fact of the matter is that when Diana Terasi is on her best game she might be unbeatable. Its really too bad the WNBA is not an incredibly viable venture, as last night convinced me that it could be interesting to follow some of these women further. Anyway, it was a blast to watch and if nothing else I think these ladies can be proud in knowing that they turned several people onto their sport, at least for a moment, and kept me enthralled.

Alright, Katie is probably going to make me cookies if I let her use the computer, so I am going to do that now. Check it.

Peace,

MB-K