Monday, May 30, 2005

Beverly Hills, Thats Where I Want to Butt

So one of the "priveleges" of living in the Buffalo-Niagara region is getting one channel of Canadian TV. From what I have been led to believe all the Candian networks (I purposefulyl resist the use of the term "major networks") are like this one, that is, having a mix of American TV and a couple original Candian shows. One of those original Canadian programs is Canadian Idol, the first episode of which I am watching in celebration of memorial day weekend. I should note a couple things about this show, but first let me stay that I am in fact aware that American Idol is not the first instance of "___ Idol" programming, but fundamentally I think its phenomenal success and the fact that it beats the hell out of Pop Idol and the others should be noted. This is the third installment of C.I. and if you can name the other two Canadian idols without looking them up on the internet you are either Canadian, a liar, or a Canadian liar because no one outside of Canada knows who the other Canadian idols are. Katie and I know the first guy, Ryan Malcomb, but thats a fluke and we're like the only ones. Notably, and I am serious about this, Ryan Malcomb would have been lucky to make it to Hollywood and the second dude, who has apparerently sold 2+ million records, I think is fake.

Even though I saw Ryan Malcomb show down with Mikey Bustos and Billy Klippert, I had never seen the CI auditions before. Its the same as American Idol except their Ryan Seacrest is way lamer, they have 4 judges who suck, and the worst catch phrase ever which is said in all seriousness, and I am not making this up: "You're goin to TORONTO!!" Not to mention that they have four judges, Farley (who is obviously a really lame Randy who doesn't say dawg) a Paula whose first name is (again, seriously) Sass, and it appears that they split Simon into two judges, one who got his Brittishness and one who got his rude comebacks but somewhere in the split they lost the choosiness, since both of their Simons are less selective than the real one. I seriously think I could go to the auditions and not look ridiculous. Ironically, that fact is in itself ridiculous because I sing like butt.

A happy Memorial day to any of those who either celebrate in some serious fashion or are remembering someone today. I have never done anything that relates to the specificity of the holdiay, but let me tell you that insofar as it signifies a day off and a barbecue I am all in favor. We were only really able to psuedo barbecue, since we have no outdoor space and no grill of any sort. We did have turkey burgers and roasted sweet corn, which was tasty and in the very least a tribeuce to the spirit of American holidays. It seems to me that the quality and spirit of American holidays are directly proportional to the quality and quantity of two factors: food and football. All holidays in the summer, seeing as how they have barbecue like food, automatically register pretty well. Memorial Day and the Fourth of July get good points for food, but suffer from both football deprivation and potential jingoism. Labor day has the BBQ possibility but isn't necessarily connected to the grill, which is why it can go either way. Thanksgiving and Christmas are the King and Queen of holidayland, the former beating the latter only because it is not dominated by the stress and hassle, its just a Thursday full of food and pigskin.

We have now moved into watching the premiere episode of Hell's Kitchen which stars this Brittish chef douche named Gordon Ramsey. Maybe this dude can cook and maybe he's got some successful restaurants but he is a total total wad. This dude is so obviously geared up to be a reality TV guy that its causing me physical pain. Literally, you could pick up a random motivational person at a police training facility and he would be this good. He's not an interesting character, he's not convincing, and his schtick is like a MadTV caricature of Simon Cowell. That said, Fox has a long and great history in the world of reality TV and I will give them at least a couple episodes, since they are dealing with the shockingly empty Monday evening timeslot, even by summer standards. Regardless, next week is the real beginning of the summer TV season when HBO kicks off Six Feet Under, USA starts the follow up to the surprisingly good first season of The 4400, and Fox gives the BTVS crew yet another chance with The Inside (which, since its guided by Tim Minnear, you've gotta assume will both rock and be canceled after about three episodes). Regardless, that is when my TV senses kick in again full swing.

Hippo is excited, since it will be the first time she has been an old enough kitten to recall the true beginning of a season. I mean, she was half a year old when the mid-season replacements took the airwaves along with the mid-year openers, like 24 and Alias, but that doesn't much count. Anyway, me and the increasingly excited persian are gonna finish this show before we call an end to MemorialDay2k5.

Peace,

MB-K

Sunday, May 29, 2005

I Want to Got to Have You Child, Great God in Heaven You Know I Love Butt

First of all, mad props to my kitten for taking responsibility when she accidentally posted to the blog. She's always welcome to guest blog, maybe sometime this summer when I am busy she will take over the dizneuce role. She's had a big day taking naps on the desk, the bed, the couch, and the computer, so we can imagine how taxing it gets by the time we're ready for the Idol finale. It didn't help that the next day she had to go to the doctor and have surgery, from which she has returned home safe and sound. She hasn't been the world's most playful kitten since she got fixed, but she's recovering nicely. I think she briefly blogged about the scenario the other day, including some adorable pictures.

I've been addicted to two different songs this week, neither should come as a surprise to anyone. The first is Bob Mould's new single off the new album, its called "Paralyzed" and its classic pure guitar-y-ness, not to specifically diss on the electronic stuff, it was just never my thing. Anyway, I don't really buy music and this is pretty much the only album I have considered purchaing in years. Its a quality quality tune. The other one appears to be a new Weezer single and I have technically only seen the video, but I dig. Katie read some reviews of the album and said its getting compared to Pinkerton, which can never be bad. The only tune I've heard, Beverly Hills, would indeed fit in on that record, though its not an incredibly radical break with the more contemporary stuff. Weezer's so cool.

We had a very busy day yesterday, much busier than I had expected to say the least. We originally had planned to go to the zoo and celebrate elephant weekend, but it was raining, so we canceled that plan with the idea that fundamentally, any weekend can be elephant weekend when you are at a zoo. Some of Katie's friends from Rochester came by, so we had wings for lunch, made a trip to Niagara Falls, and, unfortunately, the outlet mall. For a slightly more detailed commentary I will add one detail about each event: I was really full, since I had 20 medium-hot wings, a large fries, and a large pitcher of DrP, parking at the American side of the park was 8 dollars, 8 dollars to park a car in a large, 1/2 empty outdoor lot in a state park, that is one of the most significant ripoffs in human history, finally, at least I got a couple books out of the outlet mall experience, since upon very close inspection I was able to find 3 books I wanted or needed anyway for less than 10 bucks total.

Anyway by the time we came home and made dinner I was about ready to pass out, but we stayed up a while longer and played a game of trivial pursuit while watching an incredible Animal Planet program cleverly titled "Leave it to the Real Beavers" which, as you might imagine, was a documentary about beavers. It was great background television, because the only things that beavers seem to do are chew on wood and swim around all cutely. You don't have to pay much attention to be able to follow the gist of the program not to mention that you can name all the different beavers. I think Darrin is a good name for a beaver by the way. Hello, I'm Darrin the Beaver, how are you. Whose dam is this? This dam belongs to Darrin the Beaver. Ahh, lovely job that Darrin the Beaver has done with his dam. Beaver, Darrin the Beaver. It works in any context.

Alright, I am gonna enjoy the rest of the Sunday afternoon. Hippo wants to plan the indoor barbecue that we will commence tomorrow afternoon.

Peace,

MB-K

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

That last entry is my bad. I was lulled to sleep by Bo Bice's angelic voice and took a nap on Baxter's computer. Its all nice and warm and a good general area for a kitten of about perfectly my size to cuddle up on. Anyway, my bad on the previous post, I must have clicked on post when I stretched out my paw. Won't happen again. Final note: if you happen to be by a phone tonight and dial 1-866-436-5701 a couple hundred times, well, that wouldn't bother this persian one bit. If you enjoyed it, feel free to check me out at my regular blog

Purr,

Hippo
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Monday, May 23, 2005

But its Just the Price I Pay, Destiny is Calling Me, Open Up My Eager Butt

To start off, I'm gonna give five of my patented TV Takes and that is all I will say about TV for the time being.

1) The O.C. is one of the best shows on television. If you read my blog and don't watch the O.C. you have no excuse. You should almost be banned from existence. Last year's season finale was incredible and challenges the season 3 finale of the West Wing for best use of Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah in a Prime Time program (not quite as cool as the award for the Most Gratuious Use of the Word Belgium in a Serious Screenplay, but still). This year's finale may not have been quite as emotional a moment as Seth sailing off into the Newport sunset, but the use of music was fantastic. Seriously, I know there are people who think this show is just a teen drama, but its closer to a Buffy without the fantasmatic aspects. The characters are extraordinarily well developed, the lines are well written, and its often beautifully shot. Pick up the DVDs over the summer and catch up for season 3.

2) Tom is the first person to win Survivor as the dominant bastard from day 1 onwards since Richard Hatch. To some extent I don't even think that Richard Hatch should count since he didn't just follow the strategy, he invented the basic strategy that defines the game. I was amazed that no one hatched anything even bordering on a succesful plot to evict Tom, though they did have only two chances considering he won 5 of 7 individual immunities. Thats freaking ridiciulous, but it marked an incredible season of the program

3) Fucking ANTM. If you went to a restaurant and ordered a cheeseburger four times and one time they gave you a cheeseburger, but the other three times they gave you an ass-sandwich, I assume you would stop going to that particular Wendys, irregardless of the paradox implied by the fact that the customer, even when s/he wishes to be wrong, is in fact, always right. Nonetheless, despite a season which featured very late developing characters (Christina, Brittany and Kahlen all became pretty sweet) and yet another ass-sandwich of an ending (Naima, I mean, come on, she was about 1/2 as cute as Kahlen and rocked less at prolly half the photos not to mention that she did not do better at the final show) I am sure I will be back next fall hella excited for Tyra-mail.

4) The CSI finale directed by Tarentino did not disappoint. It was a good immitation of CSI in the general direction of the plot, but was much eerier, if I can use that word. There were some things that made it very clear that it was designed by someone who doesn't normally write for CSI: not only was there a much greater outpouring of emotion (both by Grissom and Nick himself) but the show invoked three of the continuing plot points that would normally only appear one per episode and each only a couple times per season (Grissom's entymology, his growing deafness, and Catherine's relation with her father Sam Braun). There were also some great Tarentio moments, like Nick and Warrick's emminently Pulp Fiction conversation, the Dukes of Hazard board game and the incredible amouts of camera movement which is routinely absent in the confined space of the crime lab. It was enjoyable.

5) This summer has some truly awful reality shows lined up. There has never, in the history of time, been an idea for a program as bad as the idea behind Dancing With the Stars. The wo/man responsible should be fired, tarred and feathered, fed to wolves, and buried beneath the pool. I'm cheering for Jay Peterman.

Alright, with that out of the way I can mention a couple other things that we've done over the last week or so. The Friday before last we headed out to the classic Holland Tulip Festival in somewhat nearby Holland, NY. I was totally down for a good old fashioned small town carnival, Leprechaun Days style, and it didn't disappoint. We got there around 8 or so, just as the joint was heating up. There is no question that this town is much smaller than even the Rose that is Mount and even further away from anything resembling a metro area. The town couldn't have had more than a couple thousand people and most of the families were out in full force. It wasn't a huge thing, certainly, half dozen rides, half dozen food booths, and a beer tent. I generally don't go on rides at local carnicals, operating on the assumption that if it could kill me if it broke, and it could very well break. I do, however, eat like the extemely f/phat dude that I am.. We had corn dogs (which were all messed up in these parts, more like waffle dogs, they were still tasy, but not pronto-pup like) and fresh cut fries (state fair booth by the diving-exhibition area style) and cotton candy and a caramel apple (both state fair sweet treats style) and a uniquely Western NY concept (I think) called "Fried Dough", which is really just an elephant ear with a stupid name. I love carnival food.

Since it wouldn't be a small town carnival without the beer tent, we went over, since I can't resist a cold one in the beautiful spring air. Beer is pretty cheap in this part of the world and since they were only serving Labatts and Michelob light, I figured it would be 3 or so bucks for a pint. Nope, it was a buck fitty. I had three Michelobs for less than 5 dollars. I don't believe I have ever paid less for a beer. I don't think I've ever even gotten two for ones for less than 3 bucks. Insane. I got a double Tanqueray and tonic in Alexandria for 2 dollars and I think thats as close as it gets.

We had a pretty mellow week after that until Wednesday afternoon. It was then that I got an email from Rick Cohen over at the Tranist Drive-In theater. I am not a Star Wars guy, I don't have any paraphenalia, and I have only seen the movies a couple times max each. Regardless, Katie and I were bored, so we decided it would be worth checking out Fever Pitch at 9:00 and Star Wars at midnight. Not only did we have no problem getting in, since the whole drive-in was only about 1/2 full, but we had a pretty good spot and a chance to enjoy the sunset. We went over there at 8, but pretty much could have waited until 11:30 had we had any idea that no one would go. Katie was all uncomfortable and felt like a geek, which is in general understandable when one is at Star Wars on opening night, but less so when one regularly participates in intercollegiate debate. The movie was definatively the best of the first three, though the dialogue remained every bit as horrible, arguably even worse. Natalie Portman is to science-fiction fantasy film what a wood chipper is to green beans. I have no idea how people can find the good-v. evil motifs of this movie enjoyable when the descriptions and explanations of it are this horrible, but the battles, both space and light-saber wise were hella cool. The Yoda fight was way better than it was in epsiode 2. I was pleased overall, a fun outing.

Final thing to mention, the Buffalo Botaical Gardens which we visited on Saturday, is in some ways very cool and in others hella weird. Katie posted pictures if you wanted to see them. High notes: wicked cool collection of orchids and a ginormous blue agave. Weird ones: dinosaurs made out of plants in a room that was filled with steam, all prehistoric rainforest style and a wicked large plant sale.

Hippo is busy playing with her new pink feather boa toy, but she adds a final meow and reminds you to look out for her upcoming single "Meow Meow Purr" a fantastic cover of 1-2 Step.

Peace,

MB-K

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

You See Errtime The Beat Go, I Need To See You Shake that Thang Butt

I've officially started writing my dissertation. I don't have any substantial amount and for all I know none of the words I wrote today will end up in the final edition, but it helps to get beyond the blank page. When I am certain that I know what direction its going in I will say something further, maybe. I do with promises the same thing I do with manicure appointments, that is, not make them. Thats a pretty sweet analogy. I should work for the SAT.

I like to do some fact checking on this here blog, make sure the information I send out to the world is accurate for the most part, and it was in that vein that I rewatched Nelly's smash hit "Errtime" last night. Beyond the fact that Snoop invents a great new dance move I like to call the booty mime (wherein one moves ones hands behind a booty, as if to mime a grabbing and shaking of aforementioned booty) I think that whatever the objective score of this video would be, were videos objectively scored, it should be docked more than a couple points for failing to make a crucial, rhyme. It could also be called the Diss on Andy Kemp Award for Refusing to Rhyme the Word Vagina Despite its Obvious Deservedness. When three consecutive lyrics (make your mind up...ain't gon' find her...she looks finer...) all end with the "ein-uh" noise you shouldn't be legally allowed to skip it. These are likely my last thoughts about Nelly's "Errtime" but again, I am to promises what Napoleon was to Japan.

On All American Festivals today they featured the Frankfort, Indiana Hot Dog Festival. I do love hot dogs and all and I have never really seen a food based festival that didn't look awesome, but the fact that every food festival the Food Network covers has to have some sort of cooking competition contributed poorly to this episode. Garlic, chiles, onions, etc. most foods that have festivals are somewhat adaptable. That is, you can feature them, they can be flavorings, they can play as breads, casseroles, glazes, and usually even some form of sweets. Hot dogs have no such adaptability. If you are talking about cooking with hot dogs (which, at least for the purpose of these cooking competitions, implies not just topping them or cooking them in some creative way, that is, corn dogs don't count, neither do Chicago style) the only thing you can really do is casseroles and hot dog casseroles are fucking disgusting. One dude made a franks and beans casserole, which was only marginally totally disgusting, while another made something that involved layering potatoes, broccoli, and hot dogs gratin style which was one of the nastiest things that human civilization, even in the form that it takes in Southern Indiana, has ever come up with. Regardless, I would like to go to the hot dog festival. Not as much as Southern Cali's garlic festival or Walla Walla's onions, but it still sounds phat.

Hippo was hanging out with me while I spent the afternoon writing. Every now and then she would try to jump onto the keyboard and alter some sentence because she didn't like my formulation. She sat next to me and read along through the course of the Three Essays and Beyond the Pleasure Principle, which I must admit is among her favorite Freud. After a while I think she got frustrated since I occassionally misconstrued her attempts at editorial suggestion as a kittenish desire to play with a pen or have her tumnmy petted, and as a result she just chilled out near the window and occassionally batted at a gum wrapper. She sends her love, a bag of catnip, and a purr-purr meow.

Peace,

MB-K

Monday, May 09, 2005

Don't Call it A Comeback, I've Been Here For Butt

In getting back into the blogging thing I will start simply and mention a number of things that I was thinking about in brief, numbered paragraph format:

1) I passed my oral exams last week. The preparation for them was a little intense and by the end I was as nervous as I have likely ever been going into any form of test, none the less I aced them and I felt like I did pretty good. So I technically have a masters and am ABD and all that. Today was the first day of my dissertation writing process and while I am still just beginning the process of defining what I will spend the next however long writing about, things are on the up and up.

2) What does it cost to just get Snoop Dogg to come hang out in the background of your rap video? Nelly's newest smash hit Errtime (from the major motion picture soundtrack to the major motion picture The Longest Yard (which I truly believe should be noted as "redux" or something, not out of any intentional diss to the new cast, but rather simply because I love the original)) seems to have Snoop not rapping, not talking, not doing a little solo or the chorus or anything, he just sits on the hood of the car in one shot and relaxes. There is one clear shot of him mouthing the lyrics, but thats about it. Maybe he has given up on recording new songs since Dobs stole "Drop it Like its Hawwt" and now just appears in videos for a small fee and a good dose of chronic.

3) Take 1 on the NFL Draft: Packers picked up Aaron Rogers at pick number twenty-fricking-four. I am not sure that Aaron Rogers is going to be the real deal, he's prolly no Brett Favre, but you can never be upset with getting the second rated quarterback that late in the first round, even in a qb poor draft. So hopefully we have the heir apparent when that hideous, dark day of retirement finally does come.

4) Take 2 on the NFL Draft: The Vikings made what I think may be one of the worst picks I have ever seen. Maybe there is gonna be an extraordinary development that will prove me wrong, but I would be surprised. The Vikings should still be one of the best teams in the NFC, but I do not fucking understand how you can pick Troy Williamson before Mike Williams. I understand that Mel Kyper does not have objective unquestionable analysis of the draft and I can even understand picking Braelyn Edwards as the top wide receiver. Still, when a guy who makes his entire living ranking college players for the draft says that Mike Williams is number one over all, thats a steal for anyone at number 7, especially when you've traded Randy, the great Rand-ino, the Rand-man. Randy.

5) I spent all last week doing, pretty much nothing. I cleaned a little and ran a couple errands, but for the most part I did no academic work for 7 full days. I am caught up on almost all of my television, which is more than a task than you may imagine, especially since I like so many shows that Katie does not tolerate. When I really don't do anything and can watch 5+ hours of TV every afternoon even I can't maintain an 80+% spaced used on Tivo. I still have some Carnivale and Veronica to finish off.

6) The Donald is finally going to hire a chick. Its hard to imagine and I think that he fired the only potentially qualified dudes rather than the women in the last couple weeks to assure that he would do it. I think if the final two had been Tana and Alex and the Donald had decided to hire Tana that he might accidentally say it to Alex at the last minute, since he seems genuinely frightened of co-operating with vaginas. My money's on Tana, hardcore.

7) I didn't bet on the Derby and that seems to have been the right decision, since I picked zero of the three horses that would have formed my trifecta, which would have been Noble Causeway, Wilko, and Bellamy Road. That said, I always love Derby week, I love the ceremony, I love the call to the post, I love My Old Kentucky Home, I love ugly hats, I love the most exciting two minutes in sports. While I have a hard time believing that the Preakness and the Belmont will be as exciting this year as they have been the past couple (Giacomo for a run at the triple crown?) I have to admit that this Saturday's race was fantastic. Everyone said the pace would be set high by Spanish Chestnut and indeed it was. That horse has fucking legs and until the stretch he was burning. Its almost too bad that he was playing the set up colt. Its the first derby I haven't bet on in a long time and I was almost scared that I would finally be right, thankfully, it was not to be. I saved the 12 dollars (or whatev) that would have made up my trifecta box.

8) We did approximately 200,000 loads of laundry last week. Of course we did them all at a laundromat, so we had to carry all the laundry down the stairs, into and out of the laundromat, and back up the stairs. This was made especially difficult by the fact that I was brutally attacked by the stairs and almost broke both my arm and leg. I am not technically a doctor, but I feel reasonably confident in this assessment.

9) Weather in Buffalo since Thursday=gorgeous. I can't rave enopugh about how beautiful it is outside today. I would kill to have a porch, a patio, a balcony, or even just a comfortable common yard area to sit outside in and barbecue, drink, read, talk, smoke, etc. etc. etc. I'm not a warm weather person by any means, today's 72 was about as hot as I would prefer it ever to go, but in the evening, with a little breeze and without a cloud in the sky, this is begging for a 6 pack of summit and a scenic overlook of sorts.

Peace,

MB-K

Thursday, April 21, 2005

You Were the First One (Oh, Oh) You Were the Last one, Video Killed the Radio Butt

10 Random Observations:

1) The OC continues to rock. The dude who they brought in to edit Newport Living was wasted in his open air living room wearing a Husker Du t-shirt and listening to the Pixies "Debaser." Ryan however, has been a little weak in relation to his bro. Come on, Chino, the Cohens gave you a chance.

2) Katie and I have been cooking like hella well recently. Mad props to Katie's experimentation with non-traditional Katie food. We ended last week with a sundried tomato and lemon bowtie pasta and last night enjoyed a spinach and goat cheese stuffed chicken and pan glaze with mashed butternut squash and zuchinni spoonbread. All around very yummy.

3) Hippo has been really playful, but I think she is mad at me, since I went all APK on the bit and stepped on her toy. I am going to buy her a new one along with a scratching post, since we decided not to get her declawed. The observation here being, our cat is the cutest. End of story.

4) We had thai food in Rochester this past weekend and I don't think I had a chance for curry since I've been in St. Paul. Thai food in Buffalo sucks and is practically non-existent. The place in Rochester is right by the house that we conceivably pay rent for. Much better deal.

5) The internet is developing into the "other cable tv" that I have always believed it should be. Gordie has the mlb.tv package and while I would never pay 100 bucks to watch baseball, the picture quality and speed is incredible. Why NFL? Why? Katie also watches internet talk shows specific to her fave reality shows, including House Rules for Big Brother and Survivor Live. Loves it.

6) Spring is awesome. Its beautiful here and has been pretty much solidly for a week. Sunshine in Bufalo is like prison moonshine: you don't get it all that often, but enough of it makes you forget the general assiness around you.

7) Playing catch (hehehehehe): when I was young I threw the baseball around for hours all summer, pretty much everyday. I haven't played catch in prolly 8 years, but I think a baseball glove would be a sweet investment. See the weather section above.

8) Toblerone appears to have the market for 3-d traingle shaped chocolate bars cornered. If I worked at M+M/Mars I would get on top of it before things were completely out of hand. What if our mouths evolve into a traingle shape? Snickers won't satisfy so much at that point will it now.

9) The NFL draft is so cool. It signals that the offseason is half over. I'm not extremely excited about the Pack prospects, but its fun overall. I think there are 4 stand out players and then alot of quality talent that could be either a bust or a ridiculous steal between the 5th pick and the 50th. Not to mention that there is a kicker who good legitimately be a first rounder. Maybe he's no Janikowski, but quality nonetheless.

10) Popular Mechanics is the most oxymoronic periodical title around. In second is the Wall Street Journal.

Peace,

MB-K

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

So I Cried, and I Begged, For You To, Love Me Love Me, Say that You Love Butt

Buffalo seems to have actually decided that it is officially spring. I was talking with my Grandfather on Easter and he officially told me that it would snow at least a couple more times and he was dead on. More specifically, last thursday night, as we were transferring from March to April, and Katie officially pronounced herself ready for summer (and accordingly traded in the comforter for the quilt, opened the windows, and generally rejoiced in springiness), it got frickin freezing and started snowing like an ass. There was prolly an inch on my car the next morning and it continued all that day, picking up into Saturday afternoon. It wasn't quite cold enough during the whole day to keep all the accumulation and it would occassionally switch from snow to rain and such, melting and producing hideous Buffalo slush.

We went to the mall on Saturday (too late, unfortunately to see the owls) and Katie bought some stuff and then got a very pretty haircut (pictures to come soon-ish). I note first that it is a very pretty haircut and secondly that it is very dramatic, much shorter than it has been in a long while and very well crafted. Its a high quality haircut, without question. In third place, I note that this haircut took, and I shit you not here, in the area of 1 1/2 hours. We were at a joint in the mall, so I went to find a restroom and make a phone call while Katie took care of the follicle-snippage and when I returned 25 minutes later I was initially worried that she would have already been done for a while. She was not, so I took a seat at a bench nearby and waited. And waited. An hour later she got out of the chair. I seriously did not think that an hour and half was a possible length for a haircut. You can get highlights and a haircut in an hour. I could have watched almost the entirety of Coneheads the movie in the time this haircut took. I could have literally driven home from the mall, watched an episode of Good Eats, enjoyed a sandwich, and driven back with time to spare. If there is any haircut that is worth an hour and a half this is it, but that said, I get pissy if it takes me more than 20 minutes to get in and get out of Fantasic Sams. I would just buy a SuckCut (it certainly does suck) if they weren't like 50 buck.

Our drive home from the mall was long, cuz it had been snowing like the author of Oliver Twist during the world's longest haircut. We got home and watched the bball that had originally inspired the mall trip itself and it was enjoyable and so forth. We went to sleep as it was still snowing and of course got approximately 60 minutes less sleep than we deserved thanks to the assclowns who put daylight savings at 2 in the morning instead of like 4 on Tuesday afternoon. Regardless, it was still snowing and it didn't show signs of stopping. Not only had I neglected the corn for popping, I had a meeting downtown that afternoon and was meeting up with some prospective UB CompLit students afterwards. I was more than a bit nervous about the whole proceeding, largely because I don't really know shit about Buffalo itself, and I would imagine that I come off as a general wad to people who don't already know me. Anyway, the editing went as planned, Katie got the opportunity to make a return trip to the Walden Galleria, and we made a number of restauranting screw ups before we finally got to a trendy joint called the Left Bank. We of course hadn't realized that UB was picking up the tab on dinner, at least the tab that wasn't alcoholicly inclined.

We actually had a pretty decent time at that dinner. Not only was the food pretty good (I had a tasty dish of medallions of tenderloin with a red wine reduction on chevre mashed taters) but we actually had an entertaining conversation and what I hope was some form of assistance to the three prospective grad students in attendance. It was kinda weird, both because I don't usually have dinner with people I don't know, and because these people all took the whole getting into grad school thing much more seriously than I ever did. By that I mean they had all gotten into a bunch of different places, were comparing offers etc. I only bothered applying to Buffalo and the U when I went about it and I suppose I wasn't entirely convinced that it was what I needed to do at that time. Regardless, I think I delivered a pretty good sell for UB, even if we are, apparently, losing one of our biggest draws in Ernesto Laclau. Anywho, we came home around 11:00ish after a 2 1/2 hour meal, which was pretty intense. My estimate is that I spent more time out doing social shitty last weekend then I have in any other weekend of my life in Buffalo. You can see that as either really sad re: my life in general or as really sad re: my last weekend. Either way I was tired.

Hippo has been really enjoying the nice weather, specifically sitting at the now slightly open window. Its her first experience allowing the breeze to tickle her whiskers and the fresh air seems to do a kitten good. If only we had a patio and a grill, we could sit out under the stars and cue up some Kitty Chow kabobs.

Peace,

MB-K

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Til Now, I Always Got By On My Own, I Never Really Cared Until I Met Butt

Minnesota, at least in parts, has now instituted a smoking ban. It doesn't matter for me anymore, thanks to my non-smoking ways, not to mention that I have lived in the smoke-free state of New York for a couple years. Nonetheless, I abhor the idea of smoking bans. Katie and I have been disagreeing over the last couple days regarding employment ethics, what should and shouldn't be required of people at the workplace. I am generally in agreement that people shouldn't have to be exposed to dangerous shit as a condition of keeping their jobs, but I also have a certain amount of sympathy for the rights of private establishments to do what they please. I will always identify as a smoker in one way or another, so I have a sense of righteous indignation whenever these things come up. To begin with, maybe there is some way to make a reasonable accomadation to people who want to work in bars but don't want to be exposed to smoke. I see two solutions in this respect: 1) places are required to provide safety equipment (breathing masks, gas masks, whatev) for them so they have protection. Yes, it would suck to wear a gas mask at work, but if you work with dangerous chemicals thats what happens. There are things that are intrinsic job risks and since there is a significant part of the population that likes to smoke when they are at bars (in NYC the estimate was 40+ percent, I'm not sure in Minnesota) I think smoke there is intrinsic to the job. 2) smoking areas should be sealed off, so that no employess are required to enter them. I mean, for instance, as you may have seen at a Perkins or a Dennys, there is a smoking section which has windows and an air-sealed door, so no one who chooses not to be in it is exposed. Basically it means that if you want to get your drinks, you have to go out to the bar and bring them back to your table. That option puts the added burden on the customer rather than the worker, so its up to you witch is more important. If you owned an establishment and wanted to be tricky (which I personally would) you could set up little windows at the tables like at old school fast food restaurants in bad areas, where you put the bags on a tray which is then spun around into the smoking area, meaning that you could have wait staff bring people food/drinks without ever having to enter the smoking area. Anyway, I think there are good solutions to this problem that don't require impinging the rights of smokers nor telling waiters/waitresses/bartenders, to suck it up.

Certainly much more importantly to my life than a ban on something I no longer do in a state where I no longer live, is the fact that living comedic legend Mitch Hedberg, is no longer living. Mitch was one of the funniest people I think has ever lived. I love that dry one-liner sense of humor (My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, and I said no, but I want a regular banana later, so, yeah) and the ridiculous set ups that made me crack up every time I heard his bits (My apartment is infested with koala bears. Its the cutest infestation of all time. Way better than cockroaches. Every time I turn on the light, a whole bunch of koala bears scatter.) I was unfortunate to never see Mitch perform live, though I listen to his CD pretty religiously and have the Comedy Central specials all but memorized. It seems that he had a heart attack and though it would be sad to lose Mitch at any age, for him to go at only 37 is hearbreaking. Personally my thoughts and prayers go out to his wife and family, I'll think of him everytime I end up screaming some insignificant shit: "that tree is far away."

Other shitty news: Fox officially canceled Point Pleasant, so they can go suck my ass. Fox has now canceled two of the potential heirs to Buffy's domain after less than half a season. Its a freaking mystery show for the love of ass, you can't evaluate it before things have really started to go down. I swear that if the OC hadn't debuted during the middle of summer allowing it to build an audience without any competition they would have canceled it before the Summer/Ana conflict even developed. It looks like Veronica Mars will get another full season and Katie assures me that things are looking up for Arreseted Development, which I thought was as good as dead.

Katie, who is awesome in every respect notably, was especially awesome in her quick dealing with of the massive figure skating glob that accumulated in her absence. I only had to watch about an hour of total figure skating as well, which is an uber-bonus. Those 14 hours move fast without commercials and minute long breaks for judging, not to mention that when I annoy Katie about the repetitive boring ass biographies alot of those get skipped too. It seems that figure skating is the reverse of a regular sport, where you use the off-court biological crap to fill in the holes during the game (i.e. halftime) since the skating is basically an afterthought after hearing the story of each of the 12 ponies that Slutskaya raised during her childhood. The only other note I intend to offer re: figure skating is that the art of the exhibition seems lost on today's generation. You want to see an exhibition figure skater, check out none other than the immortal Elvis Stojko!! Dude used to do incredible shit, slidey moves and ridiculous jumping combinations and freaking backflips! We have seen all your good footwork and arm movements during your lame-ass ice dance, the whole point here is to show off what you wouldn't do in normal combinations, not just do your boring routine to a Cherry Poppin Daddies tune.

Hippo was playing with her fishy-pole today, which is prolly her all time favorite toy. I mean, she's got alot of toys still to come, so its a bit early in her playing career to determine all time favorites, but she likes the fishy-pole. Anyway, somehow she got herself all tangled in the pink string that attaches the fishy to the pole and after getting fed up with being tangled, decided the best way to deal with it would be to take off as fast as her kitten paws would allow. She heads for the bedroom and as the pole smashes around behind her, clattering against doorways and furniture we realize what has happened. She went through every room in the apartment at least once before I was finally able to catch her when the pole got wrapped around my cell phone charger. Not a happy Hippo. I had to agree to let her watch at least one David Cronenberg movie before she would cheerup. I think she can handle eXistenZ.

Peace,

MB-K

Monday, March 28, 2005

I Got a Man, Whats Your Man Got To Do With Butt

So I have been watching the Contender, largely because I will check out at least the better part of any season of reality television that Mark Burnett is willing to attach his name to. I figure I owe the man that much after all. Anyway, there are a couple things that should be noted. 1) The show has all the quality characters you expect amidst the boxers, by that I mean there are people who are involved for significant family dramas and there are people who are just in it for the money. There are conflicts of personality and there are conflicts of style and all the key ingredients of any quality program. 2) The celebrity-host model fits in really well. This isn't a Mark Cuban style rip off, let me tell you, Sly Stallone really works, he's not authentic in some way, I don't take him seriously, but look at him in the same vein as you would The Donald and he'll stick to your ribs. Not to mention they put an old boxing trainer (literally, the physical embodiment of every stereotype you think of in a boxing movie, the washed up old white-ethnic guy with a scraggly voice) in the mix, a la George and Caroline. 3) The drama in this program is in-fucking-tense. They've done alot of things to enhance that feeling of course, most notably involving the boxers families so significantly in the show. The very fact that its a boxing show, whose contestants are up and coming boxers, means that its drawing from communities who are often in down and out situations, people who are trying to raise their families either out of poverty, or into something unique, through boxing. Maybe that could be there in American Idol as well, but there seems to be something unique about the boxing aspect. Maybe its the idea of getting knocked out that didn't really apply to Lindsay Cardinale, but what do I know. Anyway, all this was merely to say that while I like this show, I'm not sure Katie could handle it. Thats not even to mention that the dude who lost last week and was so incredibly optimistic about what it had taught him, the dude who they showed saying that "I see nothing but goodness and beauty before me" in voiceover while he played around the room with his baby daughter, is the one who killed himself a month or so ago. Its pretty hardcore.

I have watched the NCAA tournament for about as long as I have really been a sports fan, probably pretty regularly for the past 12-15 years. I know I can't remember every game I have ever watched, but I cannot imagine that there was ever a series of games as exciting as the 4 games which comprised the elite 8 were this past weekend. 4 games, 3 in overtime. The Big Ten even ended up with half of the Final Four. While I would have really liked to see the Badgers take down the evil monster that is UNC, the games were close enough that its hard to even care. Katie timed her "spring break debate trip" very well, since she missed the intense heat of the tournament, but she'll have to tolerate three final games. Luckily for her the Wolves appear to suck enough not even to end up in the Western Conference Playoffs, meaning there will be few significant sports viewing demands put on her until we are once again ready for some football.

A brief debate shout out to those who were debating at CEDA Nats and the NDT. Most notably were the successes of Meiches (quarters at CEDA) and Maggie (walked over in sems at CEDA, quarters at the NDT), both former students of mine. I would never take credit, per say, for their success even when I was their coach, and I certainly wouldn't claim to have anythign whatsoever to do with these recent and extraordinary accomplishments, but I will say that I am incredibly proud to have ever been involved in their careers in any way. Thats not even to mention the Josher, who had a tough CEDA nationals and prolly got a bit "seniored-out" regarding their shot at the NDT, but who I am 100% confident has some incredible showings to come. Finally, mizzle prizzles to those Minnesotans who I didn't coach, including Stillwater's own S. Apel, the guy who puts the DC in AC, J. Oie., and someone whose arguments could not possibly have gotten any crazier in college then they were at Wayzata, D. Falt-y-sack. There might be more, who I am then by ommission insulting, and I certainly don't mean it in that regard. Besides, I can just update them in if I remember who you are. Suck it.

Has anyone tried Diet Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper? I am really curious, but I am not just gonna buy one without some sort of endorsement. Now keep this in mind: Diet Dr. Pepper is in actuality closer to tasting like regular Dr. Pepper than, for instance, Diet Coke is to tasting like Coke. Notably, however, both Diet Coke and Goat Urine are approximately equally different in degree, from original Coke. Obviously one is a better tasting beverage, but neither of them tastes remotely like Coke. Diet Dr. Pepper is at least in the same league. That said, if this Cherry-Vanilla thing tastes just like a flavor shot in a diet soda then screw it, I can add grenadine and vanilla extract to real DP if there's something about the flavor combo. I am also confused because I have been told that Dr. Pepper itself was originally a cherry flavored soda, which I think is crap, cuz it tastes like almond and thats the way I likes it.

Hippo and I were reading Lacan's Seminar VII this afternoon on the couch and she noticed that there is potentially some tension in the interpretation of Sade that occurs here and that in Kant avec Sade. Very smart on her behalf I should say. She also has decided that there are a couple things in the apartment which she doesn't usually get to investigate that she would very much like to. First and foremost is the refigerator. She does like to climb in down by the crisper every now and then, but more often than not she comes running when she hears it open and either just walks around in between the door and the fridge proper, or lays down next to the open front. I have no idea what this fridge thing signifies, but I think the hopping up in Katie's sock and underwear drawers is a pretty clear sign that she is excited for Katie's return manana. Hippo sends her purrs out accross the interweb in a true spirit of love.

Peace,

MB-K

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Here Comes Peter Cottontail, Hopping Down the Bunny Trail, Hippity Hoppity Easter's On its Butt

Happy Easter to you all. Hope the hams/roasts/egg hunts/bunnies/baskets/etc. were fun for all those in the celebratory mood. I followed my typical Easter ritual of stopping at McDs on my way home and enjoying a Double Quarter-Pounder With Cheese. It was officially the best cheeseburger of 2005, though you never know what it will take to beat it. I almost wish I had an excuse to drive down to Cleveland and hit up the nearest White Castle, cuz a slider sounds mighty to the good right now. I think someone could make alot of money by either franchising a White Castle out in this neck of the woods or even just building a copycat burger joint. It doesn't take alot of work to grill shit on a bed of onions, even without the characteristic slider grease I would stop in for a 20 sack every now and then. Unfortunately Katie loathes the gut busters, so I can't even motivate her to make a journey with me. Maybe I need to work on homemade belly-bombs...I'll get back to you on that.

Besides that little has been going on this week that deserves bloggification. I read, I watched TV, I brushed Hippo, I hung around. There are great things to be excited about at least, since Katie returns home on Tuesday. Its been a rough NDT for many of the people who I give a rats ass about, though at least Maggie is going to clear. I've never debated at the ndt jobviously, but just looking at the tournament makes it pretty easy to realize how ridiculously difficult each of those rounds are. I would shoot myself before I could go through what is essentially an entire weekend of outrounds. You have to listen to 24 decisions just in prelims, which means you could clear and still hear the reason why you lost 14 times. Just too much. Luckily, it is the finale of the season, meaning that we are done with travel, done with one form of stress, and able to relax at least a bit.

Comedy Central finally put the vag badger bit up on their website, btw, if you feel like checking it out here. What the hell does "a href" mean? I understand what it functionally does when put in the text of a websitelike device, but why isn't it just , is it just that there is little chance that you would accidentally type "a href" or is it a stupid abbreviation or something. I think using the <> things should be the functional equivalent of having a cursor in an old school text based computer game where you can just type in any action and have the computer do it. How far? I would almost always get bored with those games after about 20 or so commands and end up telling the game to do various obscene things to itself, though I would imagine my obscene vocabulary was pretty limited in the days I used to play around on my grandparents 1980-something IBM.

Hippo is chasing a fly and its a fairly difficult task, because the fly is just buzzing around the cieling, which is about 8 or so feet out of Hippo's range. So instead of really chasing this fly, she is just walking around the room looking at the ceiling, but she is doing it in a very intense manner. If that fly descends about 7 or so feet, this persian kitty to my left is gonna wreck its shop. Seriously, it has no idea what its in for. I'm gonna follow the Hipmaster's example here and go find some food. Mine is not gonna be a fly and hopefully its not gonna buzz around so much, but it will be every bit as fascinating.

Peace,

MB-K

Sunday, March 20, 2005

I Smell Sex and Candy, Here, Who's that Lounging, In My Butt

Tournament fun, Corned beef and cabbage goodness, and a veritable television fiesta sort of summarizes my last several days. I've seen all the good upsets, really enjoyed the Vermont win despite the fact that I kinda like Syracuse. Its always fun to see kids in that environment get that kind of opportunity, their coach is hilarious, and while the drama didn't quite stack up to Wake Forest's loss in double OT last night, it was pretty solid. I think Hippo has a pretty solid case of March Madness as she has spent most of the long weekend here on the couch with me. She has been climbing up on the laptop to check her bracket every couple minutes. She seems to be big into UW-Milwaukee, but she lost a final four team with UConn's loss earlier today. I've been brushing her all weekend and her coat is in pristine condition. Hippo gives everyone a shout out and promises to update her blog a little later.

I went to the Fireside Lounge down the street for Corned Beef and cabbage, since the Irish place was jammed to the freaking rafters. I figured that at least it was a steakhouse type joint and would have a higher quality brisket than the Greek or family restaurants which had signs indicating their Irish wares. The cabbage could have used a little salt and was more mushy then I would like but it was still delish. I don't eat alot of corned beef during the year, but when I do I prefer it to be perfectly done and the Fireside succeded there. If I ever again get the chance to celebrate St. Patrick's day with one or more other people maybe i can enjoy more than one green beer in the process. As it was I came home and dyed a couple of my remaining Summit's a pure Kelly green and enjoyed the late games.

I did some work on Friday and decided that the best use of the afternoon's tournament was to make a good solid meal and enjoy it near the conclusions of the first set of contests. I whipped up a couple of tasty tuna melts and some fresh cut fries. Since the oil in my deep frier was on its last legs I was on my way to empty it when I noticed a pack of Double Stuf Oreos (I had earlier been telling Katie something I wholeheartedly believe, which is that Double Stuf Oreos are so vastly superior to regular Oreos that they should simply become Oreos and normal Oreos should be Half Stuf or Oreos for people who suck it). Hmmm, I thought, Deep Fried Double-Stuf Oreos. So I did some recipe searching and made a tasty plate of crispy melty cookie treats. You can see a shot of them at my moblog.

I have also had a couple chances to catch up with the enormous amounts of TV we had stored up from the constant debate stuff. In the process I found three funny moments whose lack of recognition at large is really pissing me off. First is "City Court with Aaron Neville" from the SNL with Hilary Swank a couple weeks back. Seriously, Horatio Sanz as Aaron Nevile may make "cocoa butter" even funnier than "bottle of pineapple schnapps." All the references to it on the interweb are panning and one even cited it as an example of how SNL sucks this year, an assertion I categorically deny. The second had at least a couple positive reviews, that being Kelesy Grammar Presents The Sketch Show. I was a little hesitant at first, since the show is the kind of thing that hasn't really been on TV since Laugh-In, a series of comedy bits which are mostly just acted out puns or one liners, a very rapid fire approach to sketch comedy. Every 3rd or so sketch would be about a minute or two, but the average length was certainly less than 30 seconds. Some is crap but at least two were LOL style and the show does feature two people who were once on Mr. Show, which is about as good a job of casting as you can do. Finally, the Hollow Men, a sketch troupe ala Monty Python or Kids in the Hall who got a show on Comedy Central. I taped the first episode just to see what was going on and while alot of it was pretty stupid (too much fascination with naked dudes and british slang for genitals, even for my taste) the final sketch was one of the funniest things I have seen in a while. I won't repeat the whole routine, since I am confident that at some point I will be able to find a copy online. Suffice to say that the vag badger is a permanent fixture in my vocabulary.

Katie has been gone for like three full days and me and Hippo are ready for her to be home. I think Hippo enjoys sleeping on her pillow, but finds it much more fun to attack her in the middle of the night. Its not like Katie's head being there has ever prevented Hippo from taking a nap where she wanted to, but still. All of Katie's teams were in the hunt to clear as of last night and it looked like Meiches was off to a good tournament as well. Josher had one of day one's biggest wins, taking down Dartmouth CS (probably a top 5 first round, or near there at least) so mad props go to Californ-i-a in all regards.

Alright, Hippo has some questions about the tournament selection/ranking process and the basic system of college conferences that may take a while, so I am going to enjoy Vermont's last moments of the season (so it seems). Hippo sends ya'll a big meow.

Peace,

MB-K

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Found a Reason for Me, To Change Who I Used to Be, A Reason to Start Over New and the Reason is Butt

I wouldn't normally be typing at this point, but I am letting Katie watch an episode of American Dreams, a show which she enjoys which I cannot freaking stand. I have no nostalgia for the 50s to begin with, not for its music or its culture or its family, and since I can hardly ever tolerate family based dramas to begin with, there was nothing about this program that interested me. The brain-wizards at NBC decided that since it was running in second to Desperate Housewives on Sunday nights they shoud move it to Wednesdays so it could smashed by Lost and also take a beating by That 70's Show, American Idol, and/or The Simple Life. Regardless, that is what is going on.

Hippo and I have been very sad today, since Katie is on her way out of town for almost 2 full weeks. Hippo was explaining that while she knows that she will get the chance to celebrate all the relevant Easter traditions with Katie when she gets home and for many years in the future, a kittenish part of her wishes she would be around to bake a spring ham and such. She told me this in between chapters of Beyond Good and Evil today, which she managed to read without sitting on the book, a great improvement by my mark. Anyway, I told Hippo that Katie will call and update her blog, and she said that was reasonable. I promised Hippo that the Easter bunny would come twice and while Hippo will not categorically assure me that she will not attack and tear to shreds aforementioned Easter Bunny with her persian strength, she seemed excited.

Brief one today. Gonna eat chinese food and watch the West Wing. Check it.

Peace,

MB-K

Your Moves are So Raw, I've Got to Let You Know, I've Got to Let You Know, You're One of My Butt

Okay okay, I got it, I suck at updating these days. Can't do anything about that, I just suck at updating. I will work on it over the next little while when Katie is gone, but until I have finished my orals and such, once a week-ish is the best I can shoot for. Well, it is Spring Break, and between the episodes of Girls Gone Wild that are being filmed all around me while I drink my Long Island from this enormous neon-green plastic tube thing, Katie and I have managed to relax while still studying/prepping for the NDT like mad. We have also managed to fix shit on the car, develop our spring-time greetings, and play with Ms. Hippo. I was reading some Bergon today and she was really really intersted, but just like I often have to have my neck in a certain position to concentrate, she apparently had to have her front paws on the book in order to understand it. Maybe tomorrow we will more thoroughly break down the concept of virtual imagery.

We are about a week and a half from the end of lent and only two days from St. Patrick's Day. I guess those dates pretty explicitly reveal my blantant Irish Catholicism, but nonetheless, its exciting. If for no other reason than I am so fucking dying for a chicago-style hot dog and a DQPw/C. Thursday is my only chance to enjoy red meat until then and though I do think that Corned Beef and Cabbage is hella tasty in general, its even better after 30 odd days without any cow. I have to pick out which psuedo-Irish restaurant in the area will be my pick for the evening, but there is time on that regard still. I will have to take Katie to the airport on her way to CEDA nationals and the NDT so I guess I can make my decision on the way home.

TV things that deserve reporting: The OC just keeps getting better and better. Though I loathe the situation that has developed between Alex and Marissa, I love Summer and Seth enough to make up for everything. The only show I would say was above it was pretty good last week as well and for the first time I actually enjoyed watching Matt Santos run for President. The Hoynes angle was awesome and though I can't handle not getting to see Jed Bartlett but every third week, I can at least tolerate Smits as his follow-up. I have plenty of feelings about what needs to happen at the end of the Bartlett administration next year, but I will wait until they more approach relevancy. ANTM is off to another good start this season, though it sucked that Brita was the first to go. I really don't want them to play Brandy like she is this years Eva, but I have no explicit favorite yet. There certainly is no Norelle, but I mean, what do you want.

American Idol was embroiled (one of the new nominees for best verb of the week by the way) in scandal with the departure of Mario Vazquez, and while I am glad that Niko Smith got back into the top 12, it sucks that Mario isn't around. My guess, after tonight's performances, is that we lose either Jessica Sierra or Mikaylah Gordon (who, while looking uber-slutty cute and sounding like Fran Drescher singing some 60s tune, was not any good at all) but Katie is convinced that I will at long last get to say goodbye to Lindsay Cardinale whose version of "Knock on Wood" made me want to drive a railroad spike through my face. Simon's comment was that 30 million TV sets simultaneously turned down the volume during her performance and I certainly almost did. If we do happen to kiss one of the gentlemen adieu, I can't believe it would be anyone besides Anthony Federov, though I guess Niko had fewer votes the first time around anyway. I mean, I would think with the two rockers you wouldn't need the non-threatening young blonde white boy, but I suppose I continue to not make up a majority of the voting public.

Anyway, I will try to say hey again St. Patty's night or summin. Erin go bragh.

Peace,

MB-K

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Baby When You Finally, Get to Love Somebody, Thats Why, Its Gonna Be Butt

So yes, it has been hella long since I updated. I could give some excuses and I will. For one I had two orals meetings that I had to get ready for and actually worked most of the week as I intended to. That certainly took up much of my time. Another portion of the overall time, specifically evening time, was destroyed by the GSA (Graduate Student Association) meeting that I attended on behalf of Umbr(a) this Wednesday. The best analogy I could come up with was this: imagine spending an hour and a half masturbating a castrated goat. You would have gotten more useful things done in that 90 minutes than I did between 7:00 and 8:30 in that room. Its like high school student council except they have money to give out. Here is the messed up thing, the Group for Discussion of the Freudian Field (who publishes Umbr(a)) is among the acadmeic clubs that doesn't get any sort of a vote. Literally, we don't get to raise our hands when they, after ten minutes of repetitive stupid questions, unanimously approve a thousand bucks for the gender institute. I'm all in favor of the programs they support (well, the serious ones, I think I could live without the "GSA Happy Hour" or "GSA Bowling Night") but why do you take my club's money away if one of us doesn't show up to eat cheap greazy pizza and listen to idiots babble. If I wanted that I could just tivo Navy NCIS and/or Jag.

But regardless, I will not concentrate on that now, since there is at least some happiness on the horizon. To begin: debate, as of this Monday, for me, is done for the year. I am thinking that the entire drive home from D.C. should just be a repetition of "Celebrate (Good Times Come On!!)". This isn't even a diss on debate, its just that I am excited to have weekends and stay at home with my Hippo (and after the NDT, my Katie) and not have to work. Maybe by the time I take the next road trip I happen to embark on I won't still be recovering from the previous one. We won't have to spend 100 dollars every weekend on McDonalds and hotel sodas. I'm totally psyched but in no way mean to diss on those who will miss it or whose careers are coming to an end. Please don't hate me.

I am writing this from a basement "room" its somewhere between an actual classroom and a broom closet with an overhead projector and overlybright lights (specifically ICC 211B if Cassie or any other Georgetown alums are in the hizzy) at Georgetown University. I have had very mixed feelings about D.C. in the day and a half that we have been here. We had a long drive to get here and crashed on Friday night without even getting something to eat. The tournament, while far away and long and so forth, is actually pretty well run and scheduled. The Georgetown campus, while huge by my standards and a very different University setting then anything I am used to (which are admittedly fairly limited to the U (which is like a school integrated with a city) Buffalo (which is a crappy practiaclly new suburban campus nowhere near civilization) and Mac (which is overall, a bit smaller than the building I currently occupy)). But if nothing else, the architecture is fucking gorgeous. The one thing we Catholics got right for sure is window/spire/arch design, we rock the architectural heezy. As of yet I have gotten zero debates off (and to be honest, I am not optimistic about either of the last two) and so have performed no exploration of the Georgetown neighborhood, which suxorz largely because it looks so interesting. It has the appearance of an older and slightly less racially gentrified (though obviously pretty fucking gentrified) Wrigley park area, with all the extraordinarily expensive 10 foot wide homes and tapas joints. Anyway, I think a trip to the intersetion of Wisconsin and M would be a way better use of my time than a doubles debate that will inevitably come down to a dropped voter anyway.

After we finagled our way home last night (no directions, only Katie's vague intuition of the city's seriously faulty geography) Katie and I dropped all the debaters off and went out to find some food. We are staying right near the Pentagon, which is awesome, but it appears that people who are by the Pentagon do not eat. By that I mean there is not a restaurant within several miles of the hotel. We literally drove a couple miles in either direction before determining that if we wanted to eat something beyond missiles or copies of the "Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside US" PDB, we would have to get on the highway. Of course we hadn't prepared for this instance, so we really just went randomly and as often happens when you jump onto highways near Washington, D.C. (at least so it seems to me) we ended up Downtown (again, I think its "Downtown," its where all the shit is, monuments and capitals and stuff, near the Mall, you might say, we were up on the hill for a while, Toby taught me that one, you are on the hill, not at the hill)). The least good thing about many debate tournaments is that we get to enjoy none of the benefits of the tremendous amounts of travel we do. This is actually an instance where I would really like to have the time to enjoy the place we are rather than just listening to Chalupka or Calibresi.

Anyway, Katie has never been to D.C. so even if the sightseeing never materializes further, she got a brief driving tour of the nation's capital. We drove down Constitution from behind the Lincoln Monument up to the Capital, picking out whatever we could of the buildings given the traffic and limited light/eyesight concerns. I think the Capital building itself is really beautiful and Katie was a little blown away. We got up right in front of it and also saw the perfect view from right in front of the Washington monument, where the trees up and down the boulevard frame the lit up building perfectly. I have only been here on the one occassion with my family in like the 8th grade and I certainly didn't remember how huge all the buildings are. The department of agriculture literally takes up two buildings that are 4-5 stories and entire square blocks. It was hella impressive even from the rented mini-van.

Despite the imposingly cool design and the multitude of shit to see, I am not convinced about D.C. yet. Besides the general large-cityness of it, problems it shares with pretty much anything bigger than Minnneapolis, it seems to have 2 distinct disads. 1) The design is confusing as shit, thats not surprising given the age of the area, how it developed, and how odd it is to have an enormous section of the city with nothing but big ass statues, but it made it a pain for me to get around, alot like Boston in that regard, thankfully, without Boston drivers. 2) There is no food. I think the best warrant for any argument that our government is run by aliens (and I know there are alot of good ones) is the lack of restaurants in the area. My guess is that they eat vacuum cleaners, which, when you think about it, explains alot.

Anyway, we ultimately found our Boston Market, enjoyed a tasty rotisserie chicken dinner and spent a lively evening joking and laughing amongst the best of company. Unfortunately Hippo was not there, which technically means it was not the absolute best company, but close enough by my count. I drank a good bit of vanilla vodka (for some reason no one has had Stoli vanilla recently, its all Smirnoff all the time) and went to sleep later than I would have liked, but at least with a buzz. I woke up this morning looking out on the sun rising, over/near the Washington monument in the distance.

Alright, gonna try 2 find somewhere to post this. In Washington, I'm MB-K.

Peace,

MB-K

Saturday, February 26, 2005

So Take Your Hat Off, When You're Talking to Me, and Be There When I Feed the Butt

I still have not entirely concluded that Pete Nikolai is 100% right about Project Runway, at least as it being the best single season in relaity history. I think it will have to stay in my mind for the next couple months before I give it that, but it is, at the very least, a strong contender. The more I think about it, the more I am sure that Jay McCarroll is the greatest reality show contestant of all time. Some things that Project Runway has in its favor:

1) the right conflict went the WHOLE season--usually the villain or some half of the great conflict disappears early, i.e. Rupert goes out as one of the first individual immunity weeks, Omarosa barely makes the top 10. For all that I don't enjoy about Wendy Pepper she provided great plotlines the whole time. The entirety of the audience enjoyed watching Jay rip on her and the finale was a great opportunity for Jay to prove his humor wasn't mindlessly cruel. It also complicated our hatred for Wendy by the Kara Saun shoe disaster, which was so incredibly weak I can't even describe it. She wasn't just a whiney Omarosa, but at least once per season, she had something not stupid to say.

2) the show was funny--while obviously there was alot at stake, besides Wendy's daughter's picture-mustache situation (which relates to the above complication as well), never did this show get way over serious. I mean, Wendy cried when Jay and Kara Saun were running late, but it was hilarious, not presented like the people on Big Brother who haven't seen their families for 40 days. The conflict on the get-together episode was awesome and the person who stormed off was on the show for like a week and not very interesting, which meant we didn't have to care if she was all pissy. Reality TV that doesn't always make itself life or death is good.

3) the right character won--if you don't watch alot of reality TV this may not be such a huge shock, but its a big freaking deal. I can't imagine anyone who watched this show and wasn't cheering for Big Gay Jesus by the end. He was my obvious favorite from the first moment I turned Bravo on back in December. While it was nice that Rob and Amber had final 2 or that Eva pulled it out, but its not the same. Jay was the coolest, from beginning to end. He wasn't the technically proficient robotic winner week in and week out that Kara Saun was.

I hope the second season can stick it up, that it doesn't go all Dream Job on the bit (the third season of which I won't even glance at) and follows closer to the ANTM model that its obviously based in. Heidi Klum still bites it in comparison to Tyra Banks not to mention that the catch phrases (I mean, "Wendy, you're out" doesn't compare to "Kelly, congratulations, you're still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model") the prizes ("a mentorship with the Banana Republic Design Team" gets smacked by "a photo shoot with world famous fashion photographer Gilles Bensemot") and the judges (Nina Garcia vs. Nole Marin, how's she gonna beat his little dog huh?) are all leaning huge in favor of ANTM. Regardless, the three factors above all tilt towards Jay over Norelle, and thats a hard thing for me to say.

So I am in Vermont, after like a seven hour drive yesterday which included a one hour stop at Target, for reasons that, while still very cool, are entirely bizarre to me. We did make pretty good time and managed to beat everyone else up here though I drove all but 67 miles of the journey (Steve Perry) this is not something I am likely to repeat on the way back to Asschester. Today apparently features 5 more JV-Novice debates, and as excited as you might imagine I am about that prospect, I would literally rather make one of those little clacky desk toys where you drop the one silver ball and it makes the one on the other end fly up etc out of my balls then listen to two more of these. At this point in the season all the kids I am judging should be sucking it up and debating varsity, but this weekend being NDT quals saps that idea so instead its just low-level varsity debaters mucking their way through complicated arguments they sort of understand. The exception to this being of course, my round 2, which featured the Cornell "masochism" affirmative.

I put that word in quotes because its the oddest definiation of "masochism" i can possibly imagine. I will explain it further later on, but now I must go to round 4. 4:00, round 4, on floor 4. Thats some scary hullabaloo!

Peace,

MB-K

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Win Big, Mama's Fallen Angel, Lose Big, Livin Out Her Butt

I still personally prefer the pug, the St. Bernard, the Bernese mountain dog, and the Irish wolfhound, but I really do believe that the best named dog breed out there is the Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever. I am watching our tivoed edition of day 2 at Westminster and the sporting group, which is a not shabby set of puppies in general, is really coming strong this year. I mean, all of the water spaniels are pretty cool and no one can dis the German wirehaired pointer, which has a terrier like muzzle and the same mottled gray body with a brown face as, for instance, the Australian shepard. Not to mention the clumber, which is by far my favorite spaniel. Its a big dog that looks like it has at least some relation to a Newfy or even the Neapolitan mastiff (one of the year's new breeds, which I saw earlier at the Eukanauba show and is freaking awesome). Anyway, more power to the sporters.

So it is now Wednesday eveningish, on the verge of the second to last debate tournament of the year, well for me at least. I suppose Katie is still well in the thrall of the multi-headed beast. Hopefully the lack of debate tournaments will allow me to get beyond caught up with the reading lists and actually ahead. I am feeling pretty confident about psychoanalysis with Steven and I think I can read literature fast enough that the 20th Century probably won't be a problem. Luckily for me, the list that I am not as good on is with the professor who likes me the most. I know that I'm capable of reading this enormous mass of shit, but I just have not gotten as much of it done as I would like. Anyway, a little bit of worry is helpful, but I'm not panicing until I absolutely have to. I just need to find a way to enjoy the "filler" stuff in those texts like I can with Lacan et. al. I mean, the moments in the Critique of Pure Reason that are great are truly fantastic. There is just so much that is repetitive or summarizing or just a review of literature I don't care about. Thats not to say its not important for the overall argument of the book, but simply that it makes it harder to keep going and going.

Regardless, probably the reason I haven't been blogging to mention any of this was my overrelaxed nature following the night in Niagara Falls which Katie gave me for Valentine's day. We went up to the Niagara Fallsview Marriot, which is directly up the hill from the Canadian (far cooler) section of the falls. Its right in the same area as the new casino, which we visited in fact. But that barely makes the highlight reel of the weekend. We should begin, of course, with the room. I can say with a good amount of certainty that it is the second coolest hotel room I have ever stayed in. Our wedding-night suite at the Hyatt obviously takes the cake and while the suites we use for the party at Blake are pretty awesome, they don't have any of the elements available here. To begin with there was the view. I mean, what a sweet ass view. We were 18 floors up and directly in line with the horseshoe. I will put good pictures online at some point, this is one from my moblog:


I know thats not especially clear but its the best I can do. The giant puff of mist you see is the dead center of the falls. You cannot believe how incredibly clear this all looked, the rushing water, the spraying mist, the ways you can literally follow the flow over the side of the cliff. I spent probably an hour, in toto, just watching the falls from our window. Thats not even to mention the two other important facts of the room. 1) the fireplace: it was gas of course, but it was still gorgeous and it was right along side the almost floor-to-cieling window. I turned it on the second we walked in and only extinguished it when we left the next morning. Having a fire roaring was all but intrinsic to a relaxing evening in the Baxter household when I was growing up, and while a big part of that was obviously the wood crackling and the smell, even just the aesthetics of the orange glow does alot. It meant the room stayed a Katie-riffic temperature as well, I suppose. 2) the jacuzzi--in terms of pure jacuzzi-dom, by which I refer to just the actual tub itself, this thing was the nuts. It was ginormous, to begin with, designed for two people to be able to lay side by side with room to spare. Beyond that there was also the fact that, due to a window in the wall, you could choose to watch tv from the bath or enjoy the view of the falls. I did both and overall my back felt incredible when I walked away from that hotel in the morning. Admittedly it didn't have the gray marble or the LCD tv for Buffy/Sportscenter but it was stell a great tub and bathroom overall.

Alongside the great accomodations, there was the great food. The restaurant in the hotel, The Terrapin Grille, was actually where we went to dinner last Valentine's Day (well, as close as we get to Valentine's Day). They have great fish, so its a perfect lenten choice not to mention that it has a pretty view of the water and overall solid quality and atmosphere. We arrived about 7:00 for dinner and sat down soon after. I was going to eat fish anyway, so Katie chose the wine and it was a pretty decent Riesling. I must admit that I'm not a fan of sweet grapes, but if you've gotta drink white wine I would prefer a riesling with some character to what seems to me a universally lame chardonnay. We started of the fish-festival with a tasty platter of smoked salmon, which apparently Katie had never had before. I figured she would enjoy it and I was fairly sure when what came was true high quality salmon I knew I was right. Soon after finsihing that we received the entrees: Katie went for a repeat performance of the Pan Seared Chilean Sea-Bass, which was really perfectly cooked. It was about as tender and soft as you can make a piece of fish like that, it didn't flake or crumble in any way. Not to mention that whatever the glaze happened to be, it added a perfect sweetness to the whitefish that simply accented the mouth feel without in anyway interfering with the flavor. It wasn't a marinade, and that shows intelligence in preparation, you didn't need more flavor in a fish that good. I don't know if it was the exact same as last year, but it was chweet. I selected the special for the night, a pecan-crusted rainbow trout. Katie had apparently never even enjoyed the wonders of a trout fillet, which surprises me from a midwest gal, but nonetheless, it was truly a great meal. I can't describe it with the detail of the sea-bass, but let me simply tell you that it was as good a piece of trout as I have ever enjoyed. The lemon-garlic-butter sauce accented it perfectly and the contrast in crunchy pecans and firm but flaky flesh was solid. We finished the whole thing off with a chocolate gateaux that was really like a tiramisu for someone who hates either marscapone (impossible) or coffee (even less possible).

We made our way back to the Terrapin Grille for the breakfast buffet, primarily because I fucking love the breakfast buffet. The buffet in general is a fine art, but a truly excellent breakfast buffet is a masterpiece, a Sistine Chapel of my culinary world. It doesn't take anything special, you don't have to be innovative, but you have to execute a number of things in specific ways. Step 1) adequate "regulars"--by which I mean that you have a decent selction of breakfast breads, coffee, juice, milk, prolly some cerial, you know. This step includes most of the shitty you would find at a decent contintental breakfast, some bagels, croissants, maybe pastries. Step 2) quality meats--I didn't eat them, but they looked and smelled good and Katie like the requisites of sausage and bacon. Our buffet didn't exceed those requirements, there wasn't a carving station or anything, but it satisfied. Step 3) The fine touches--fundamentally the fine touches could be anything from hashed browns to some pancake like item to eggs and so on. Terrapin Grille proffered oven roasted breakfast potatoes and scrambled eggs to begin with. This was tipped over the edge by what may well be my two favorite things about breakfast buffets overall: fluffy waffles with whipped cream and an omelette station. Oh my God do whipped cream coated waffles and omelette stations rock. A fresh omelette made by someone who really knows what they are doing (which you fucking well better when given both your own fucking station and the nutzors of omelette making equipment) and has all the necessary fixings is awesome. I think that not only does its speediness and self-serve nature beat the omelettes that come out of a kitchen, but the fact that they know you are watching means they don't leave the omelettes alone to let them cook forever and dry out.

Alright, thats as much as I can humanly say about the breakfast buffet for now. Subject to begin with next time: Project Runway and its general ruleitude.

Peace,

MB-K

Friday, February 18, 2005

Just Like the Pied Piper, Led Rats Through the Butt

Katie and I finally watched the Project Runway end of the season get together thing and its freaking hilarious. Pete's contention is that Project Runway Season 1 is the best single season of a reality show in all of time and while I haven't been convinced entirely yet, this hour leads me towards that conviction. I think there is no question it is in the top three or so, if for no other reason than Jay is one of the best characters reality has ever seen. The behind the scenes shots indicate that not only is Jay funnier than he is portrayed (the impression of Olga's boyfriend, his "Hoe-si Klum" thing, etc) but that Robert is even stupider than you can imagine and that Wendy Pepper didn't just get Omarosa-ed. It seems that she is the jerk she looks like on the show.

Our tivo situation is dire at the moment, we are completely unable to keep up with the being gone every other weekend thing. I mean, its not like we don't record a buttload of shit, and at the moment we're behind on the Daily Show and Ellen. I mean, I'm also a week behind on Point Pleasant and a little more on 24 and Carnivale. I have finally been in the mood to catch up on those shows, at least 24, and I really want to watch Carnivale, but I feel so behind on the premise of the program that I don't know when it will make enough sense to prove completely enjoyable. Its got some great David Lynch-like moments and I'm a sucker for large scale good-evil conflict played out in unlikely small time circumstances. Anywho, Katie was gone last night and I watched tv like it was going out of style, but we were still like 90% full. Hopefully being home for most of the weekend will mean that we can catch up before we go on the final debate bender of the season.

That bender is a vicious whore, by the way, that for me includes Vermont and Washington, D.C. Thats two pretty extensive drives, espeically in comparison to previous trips to Buffalo, Rochester, Cornell, and Binghamton. Not to mention that I hate driving in the first place and certainly am not a big fan of doing it with a bunch of college personnes qui je ne connai pas. Apparently the drives are 6 and 8 hours respectively, but I'm not entirely sure I agree with that assessment, seeing as how last year's trip to Vermont took between 8-10 and I fundamentally just don't believe that D.C. is 8 hours away. I know what mapquest and google maps and rand mcnally all say and Katie has told me as well, but there is no way its only 8 hours away. While the tournament at Georgetown is hella far away, at least the schedule is pretty easy for a pretty cool place. Burlington, on the other hand, while seeming to be a pretty legit town, is a repeat of the ass-licking schedule from last weekend. 5 debate rounds on Saturday munches it, even if it is just JV and novice. I can hope/assume that they will lag power round 4 and since there are fewer complicated debates/decisions, that we will be out by 9 or so. Nonetheless, the prospect of another 14 hour Saturday looms large on the horizon. After those two Katie will likely be gone for a 10 day jaunt around the Northwest from San Francisco to Spokanne. Obviously the first half of that journey is way fucking cooler than the second. It means that while I will likely get alot of work done in early March, I will spend the 10 days leading up to and including Easter alone with Hippo.

Alright, I just wanted to say happy weekend. If you need me I will be watching this week's all new "The O.C."

Peace,

MB-K

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Can't Fight the Seether, I Can't See Her Till I'm Foaming at the Butt

There were a ton of possibilities for butt-lyrics in this song. If I ever begin repeating tunes Veruca Salt has a couple more go-rounds. So Katie thinks my transcription of the Andy-Sanjay message is inappropriate. I think it both evades the use of naughty language and, since it is a direct quote/transcription, I don't think I get the blame. Not to mention, I just don't think there is a funnier way to convey the story than by transcribing it. I avoided the text of the less than presentable Auld Lang Sygne message so I think thats hard core restraint.

I haven't mentioned recently enough, how great a program the O.C. is. Important plot updates, it looks like Marissa is about to get involved with Alex, Seth's very brief girl-toy. Seth Cohen is still my second favorite character on TV and to be honest with you, now that Josh left the Bartlett administration, he's gaining some ground. Not to mention that Seth is in that great melodramatic angsty sarcastic situation that seems to always precede his relationship with Summer. I don't know for how many consecutive seasons they will be able to pull off that plotline, I guess you can keep varying his opposition from Luke (the anti-Seth) to Zack (the non-Seth) and at the very least you will have whoever happens to fill next season's logical role (according to the Grascian square) of the non-anti-Seth. Maybe it will be a sensitive water-polo player, I don't have the concept down yet.

The points I intended to make about this point in the season were twofold: 1) it rocks, everything about it rocks on and rocks hard, watch the OC, its one of the best shows on the air. 2) people are really pissy that Marissa likes girls. I mean, I can't say that most people are pissed about it and I don't really give a shit about what idiots who post on the O.C. forums have to say, but outside of people whose opinions I could have predicted (i.e. non-bigots) they are my only source of info. I can somewhat understand people who would say its a cheap publicity stunt, but if you've watched the show at all, its completely not the case. The whole idea fits pretty well into Marissa's life at the moment. A number of people indicated that their kids were pissy about the show, even if it didn't bother the parents, which just goes to show that you eat balls at capitalizing on potential teaching moments with your children.

Katie and I had a very nice Valentine's Day. I got her a pajama-gram which featured a pair of cashmere pjs I think she is very happy with. It was, of course, complemented with a box of Watson's truffles, a throw-back to the chocolates I gave her the night we got engaged. Even better, we are not done, since we are going to a suite in the falls next weekend, when we actually don't have a single debate to judge.

I am tired and I can't continue typing during one of Katie's favorite programs What Not to Wear. As a result I will say adios until sometime later. I feel profoundly unwitty. How bout this to wrap up. Should we get a google bomb started? Katie suggests "penis penis."

Peace,

MB-K