Start out by smoking some drugs. After that turn on MTV Hits, just fucking do it. Get over your indie street cred you fucking prick. Just fucking turn it on. This channel is just non-stop awesome shiznit. Watch Nelly Furtado's classic "Turn Off the Lights" video. It looks like Parappa the Rappa' took like three tabs of acid. There are all these bright colors and stupid fucking dances and dudes covered in flour dancing in hoop skirts. I can just imagine the Shaggy dude from the first game in there.
I would like to add to the original list of great tunes I have seen on this channel recently American Idol Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent" which starts off like its going to be a pop ballad thing qua her first single. Midway through it goes totally Christina. You can just see the pattern in the "Fighter" video which is so hip with the kids these days. I can't believe I forgot about Beyonce's video, whose name I forget, but is really good. Nelly and P. Diddy have a single with this other dude, who sucks, but overall a good video. The song is on the Bad Boys II soundtrack and Diddy's record label is named Bad Boy. Trust me when I say that this fact did not escape the notice of any of this video's lyricists. If I could grade rappers on their correct observations about the coincedence between the names of their labels and the names of the movies for which they record soundtrack songs Nelly and P. Diddy and the other dude, who sucks, would all get A's.
Also Mya's "My Love is Like (wo!)," which, I would like to note, appears to have been spellchecked by Will Hailer. Its pronounced "whoa" (think Joey Lawerence) and literally includes the lyric "my sex is like (wo)/my ass is like (wo)" which is incredibly brilliant. The song is also exactly to the melody of that "Get Out the Way" song from a little while past. The makers of the video take a clue from the writers of the song who take a cue from the video for "Lady Marmalade" and that clue is not especially subtle. The clue is pretty simply "Show off Mya's ass. Seriously, have her like bend it down into the camera a couple times. Make it absolutely clear in the minds of the audience that Mya does not lack an ass. If you could actually just attach a camera to her pants, that would be good." Based on Mya and Charlie's Angels FULL THROTTLE I am almost ready to dub this "Summer of the Ass."
On a sour note, which unfortunately, are occasionally necessary, Christina's newest venture with Moulin Rouge Soundtrack alum Little Kim is awful. I mean, retchid, "Can't Hold Us Down" is a good message, sure, women should not be called whores for behaviour that is considered "manly" for men. This was a profound thought which warranted songs, even those with awful lyrics not too long ago, but seriously Aggy, what's the dilly-o? Can't we go back to what you girls want and being a fighter and stuff? And for the sweet love of fuck kill whoever colored your hair and return to blondage. The black is hip only in the dark Tool inspired video with all the moths. It was a gimmick, you are a blonde. You can be brunette sometimes, but black hair, sorry, Michelle Branch has got the market cornered. Suck it up.
Peace,
MB-K
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2 comments:
Maybe My is trying to say "My love is like Woo" that is, her love (and ass) is analogous to Nathanial David Prestwood. Her love attends law school in North Carolina. Her ass went to college at St. Olaf. Etc.
Now that I think about it, there are more than a couple similarities between Woo and Mya's ass. They are roughly the same size and at least since the end of high school neither one is as hairy as they used to be. Furthermore, when you hear either name (Woo or Mya) it may be in connection to Stuk-ass.
Peace,
Mike Baxter
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